10-31-2016, 01:30 PM
I don't know for sure right now, maybe I would better be able to know in the moment that it is happening. It definitely comes from my past, so it is learned. I think it's self image related and also competency related. Like I don't feel like I can handle the situation and I think that I might get dominated in front of everybody and everybody will think I'm a pussy even know I know I'm not cause it's unfair cause AM6 has made me this badass but nobody else can see it. Like, I believe I'm a badass, but it feels like I can't prove it and it's like I've tried to skip over the part where I conquer everything and everybody and so I know I have achieved everything and it's like I'm trying to just be like, yeah I've achieved it already when I have nothing to back it up. Also I feel like I have a strong frame as far as ignoring shit, but I can't get what I want in a situation because my frame is weak in confrontation, that's the part that's frustrating. I want to be able to have control over my environment when I want something from it.