Shannon's Journal Discussion

[Shannon]

Shannon, I've been doing a lot of ignoring guys who try to AMOG me and I thought I was doing the right thing but now I don't know. I feel simultaneously fear and contempt for them because I know that I am more alpha than them but at the same time they are the one initiating everything, making the insults/confrontations etc. and I'm just the one sitting there taking it like a good little boy. It's either keep telling them to **** off and risk looking like a whiney bitch (I'm terrible with language in situations where I don't have time to think through my answer) or ignore them, but I'm just sitting there taking shit from a beta male acting like he's some big shot who's better than me.

Funny enough a roomate who constantly refers to himself as "the King" (weird how I actually have 2 guys in my doorm like this (both of which are betas but not quite as beta as the average guy, but they act confrontational all the time out of insecurity) and a third who constantly makes sarcastic remarks, my worst nightmares, think these situations manifested for my growth) taunted me, as he often does, and I just look at him and then turn back to my chess game sitting there dealing with the fear and hoping the fear doesn't fuel his ego which makes him more like this (it's very annoying, because if I actually engage, I'll win, but that's not being an ascendant alpha because an ascendant alpha doesn't need to waste his time on petty shit like that.) he actually says "he does this when he's scared". Wtf, he knew lol. Annoying too because he amps this type of shit up (all betas do) around girls to try and basically increase his status by decreasing mine.

I'm trying to have power by not engaging in this kind of ***** and wasting my time, but at the same time it's like I'm getting laid into over and over taking this kind of shit from lesser males and it's taking a toll on my general wellbeing. Hmm I think I have my answer, I just needed to write all this. Gonna just tell them to shut the **** up. Hmm, whenever I act like that though everyone seems to not like it but when I let loose on the guy who always makes sarcastic remarks to me he's been nicer ever since.

You're trying too hard. You are attempting to define what an ascendant alpha does, and then do that. Ascendant alpha doesn't have to do that. Once you're there, you just do what comes naturally.

What I do is usually try to understand the psychology behind what they are doing and why, and then determine my response based on what works best for that. If he's admitted to doing X when he's scared, you could say something like... "Oh, I remember you said you only act idiotic like this when you're feeling insecure." You can add a variety of things to it to adjust it to the situation, but...

This statement, said the right way, will shut him down cold. Here's why - which is what you need to understand to be able to hold your own verbally in the moment as best you can.

If he is attacking out of fear, it means he feels fear. Why? Probably because he feels like he is outclassed by his current company (you). POINT THAT OUT, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. This destroys his attack because not only have you maintained a calm composure, but you've revealed his attack as the actions of a frightened idiot. And instead of just SAYING that's what it is, you use his own words to prove it!

I have a couple of friends who like to do things to taunt me. The goal is to get me riled up. As long as I get upset, they keeps doing it. When I realized that, I simply ignore what they're doing, and they get bored and stop. There is literally nothing else to do in that situation... they're both bigger and stronger than me, in better health and I can't physically force them to stop.

So first understand what is being done and WHY. Then determine what will defeat the behavior, and do that. Sarcasm and embarrassment usually works wonders. Some people are shameless and clueless enough that it doesn't.