07-16-2018, 03:29 PM
(07-16-2018, 01:27 PM)DarkPlouf Wrote: I might have a BIG fear of getting hurt. Not the usual kind of fear that I imagine people experiment at one point of their life. I've probably a trauma-like, god tiers level of fear of getting hurt.
Just to set the context, I ran DMSI 3.2B 7/8 loops per day, about 4 weeks ago and the effects faded after the 3th/4th day. I decided to take a break at some point and run one loop per day only.
Well the second day after I took the break, I started feeling my "chest" tightening. You know, like when you have emotional pain. It was kinda hard to breathe too. Then the next day I was heading home and guess what the **** happened?
The universe wanted to mess with my feels, or maybe DMSI though it was so much of a good idea to make me bump into the girl that destroyed my soul 3 years ago. She was just as ***** attractive as ever to me. In yoga pants and I swear I could even see the shape of her panties. She still had the same mimics that made me go crazy years ago. My heartbeats started to ramp up and I experienced the same thing that happened 3 years ago when she rejected me: All my energy leaving my body, legs weakening (I could barely stand), chest tightening so much that I felt like I had a giant ball in my throat. Then came the HUGE emotional pain, feeling of grief and regrets. "I wish I had never met her", "I wish I had never ever tried something with her", "I should have just made friends and nothing more than that ever", "women = PAIN".
I swear it hurt like hell and if it wasn't for a certain friend that uplifted me idk what I would have done.
I am VERY VERY VERY afraid of experimenting that pain again and I'm ready to leave EVERYTHING else just not to go through that again. :|
So then here's what you do.
Stop doing anything that could lead to experiencing that pain, and stagnate for the rest of your life. You'll be miserable as hell, but hey - no pain, right?
Or, you could look back and realize that you stopped using DMSI at 7 loops a day after a few days because you found a convenient excuse to avoid what you are afraid of. This is not going to go away because you hide from it. It's going to stagnate and fester. You have to deal with it, overcome it, and outgrow it. Which DMSI-A 3.2-A will result in. But you not only have to use it, you have to use it at the right number of loops and prevent yourself from pussying out.
Otherwise, all you have is you hiding from pain that you are blowing out of proportion and misinterpreting in ways that will only keep you in dry dock for the rest of your life.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!