04-06-2015, 12:48 PM
Since I'm pretty much essentially at the end for this stage I thought I would give the stage 4 review now.
Internal Results:
- More "IDGAF" attitude
- Less Neediness
- Confidence came back
- Very calm and relaxed when conversing with others
- Desiring more women in my life
- Also desiring to work on myself
External Results:
- Lots of warmth from a certain woman that works at a burrito Joint I visit often
- Random woman talking to me at a checkout lane
Anyway, I will say that I definitely liked this stage much more than stage 3. Stage 3 was hell for me. Stage 4 started out pretty rough but it soon got a lot better. The last few days, I've been thinking about something that Catman said in ricardo's journal. He said that we might have a lot of changes but we don't notice them because of slipstream. Soon after he posted that something happened a day later and then looking back on that incident do I realize that something did in fact change a lot. I went to go shop at the Safeway I use to work at. I notice that a co-worker that I use to work with and talk to was doing check out so I decided to stand and wait in their line. While I'm waiting behind 2 woman this other woman comes up behind and starts placing her things on the checkout belt. I use a separator to separate her stuff from mine. She says, "don't want to get our stuff mixed up. I don't have much that you want anyway" (laugh). I say (after noticing that she has mostly junk food and I have mostly junk food except for some grapes), "Well, I'm not much better" (chuckle).
Afterwards we start to banter a little bit. I get to the cashier, my friend, and shes very happy to see me and starts joking about me with the woman behind me. After I'm set to go she asks me for a hug and I give her one and say goodbye. Thing is, I have hugged her before (the day I quit that job) but I've seen her other times since then and she has never asked for a hug goodbye again before. Found it somewhat strange. Anyway, the thing I noticed when I thought about it was the fact that me talking to that woman was pretty much automatic and my intent while talking was devoid of any ulterior motive. It was like I was in some relaxed Zen state with no thoughts but stuff was just rolling off my tongue. At the same time, I could see this becoming a problem because i'm so devoid of intent when this happen that I don't really think about things like trying to get her number. Its more like a "it ends up wherever it ends up at" type of attitude.
Another thing I noticed, after reading something AfzalG said, I really don't place a lot of importance on woman anymore. I kinda of act colder to them, like he said, in the idea that they are just another fallible human being. There is sort of a conflict though in that my sex drive has increased by a "lot" towards the end of this stage but at the same time I don't take woman very seriously anymore. Its kinda of a weird feeling to be honest.
Anyway, starting stage 5 soon. Hopefully, this will be the stage to change things around a bit, manifestation/aura wise. If not, then I guess it would be good to run the EPHRA>LTU>AM6> combo after this.
Internal Results:
- More "IDGAF" attitude
- Less Neediness
- Confidence came back
- Very calm and relaxed when conversing with others
- Desiring more women in my life
- Also desiring to work on myself
External Results:
- Lots of warmth from a certain woman that works at a burrito Joint I visit often
- Random woman talking to me at a checkout lane
Anyway, I will say that I definitely liked this stage much more than stage 3. Stage 3 was hell for me. Stage 4 started out pretty rough but it soon got a lot better. The last few days, I've been thinking about something that Catman said in ricardo's journal. He said that we might have a lot of changes but we don't notice them because of slipstream. Soon after he posted that something happened a day later and then looking back on that incident do I realize that something did in fact change a lot. I went to go shop at the Safeway I use to work at. I notice that a co-worker that I use to work with and talk to was doing check out so I decided to stand and wait in their line. While I'm waiting behind 2 woman this other woman comes up behind and starts placing her things on the checkout belt. I use a separator to separate her stuff from mine. She says, "don't want to get our stuff mixed up. I don't have much that you want anyway" (laugh). I say (after noticing that she has mostly junk food and I have mostly junk food except for some grapes), "Well, I'm not much better" (chuckle).
Afterwards we start to banter a little bit. I get to the cashier, my friend, and shes very happy to see me and starts joking about me with the woman behind me. After I'm set to go she asks me for a hug and I give her one and say goodbye. Thing is, I have hugged her before (the day I quit that job) but I've seen her other times since then and she has never asked for a hug goodbye again before. Found it somewhat strange. Anyway, the thing I noticed when I thought about it was the fact that me talking to that woman was pretty much automatic and my intent while talking was devoid of any ulterior motive. It was like I was in some relaxed Zen state with no thoughts but stuff was just rolling off my tongue. At the same time, I could see this becoming a problem because i'm so devoid of intent when this happen that I don't really think about things like trying to get her number. Its more like a "it ends up wherever it ends up at" type of attitude.
Another thing I noticed, after reading something AfzalG said, I really don't place a lot of importance on woman anymore. I kinda of act colder to them, like he said, in the idea that they are just another fallible human being. There is sort of a conflict though in that my sex drive has increased by a "lot" towards the end of this stage but at the same time I don't take woman very seriously anymore. Its kinda of a weird feeling to be honest.
Anyway, starting stage 5 soon. Hopefully, this will be the stage to change things around a bit, manifestation/aura wise. If not, then I guess it would be good to run the EPHRA>LTU>AM6> combo after this.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche