09-11-2024, 10:55 AM
Currently sipping Gin with Tonic and writing this.
The past few days have been rather eye opening; I see myself losing interest in some things and building tractions in other things, more like I started to prioritize better, don’t get me wrong, I have been doing well for few years, but that’s in the eye of others, not according to my own standards. Then what is my standard?
I started to see things for what they are rather than what I want them or wish them to be or how they appear to be, but straight to the point. Why are we waking up in the morning, then going to work, doing the things we have been told to do, spending money on things, and repeat the same cycle over and over. Is it our own choice to do so? If so, is it rational? What is rational?
Work:
I want to spend some time talking about work, because it is the most frustrating part that I don’t like in my current lifestyle. Even though my job and current pay based on my years of experience/country/discipline is considered on higher top end, however I am sick to my gut waking up everyday going to work. Yes, I AM grateful for the job, yes, I am aware thousands of people will love to have my job, but that’s not what I want according to my own standards, for myself, for my own standards, I want to own the 24hrs I receive each day, own it completely. Meaning living the Maverick style to the fullest, without the need for a crutch. Without the feel of postponing the “being present’ into some future that never arrives.
My job as an engineer seems like a dangerous trap that most young engineer graduates fall into and never realize until it’s too late. You get a position after graduating, and somehow, the company will sell you a vision that’s not really of your choosing, but after some time, they convince you, you then forget your own dreams, ambitions, desires and you start to follow the goals/visions of the said company, only years later to realize ‘’where did my life go?’’
Typical trap.
Anyways, of course I have seen all this coming way before graduating university, its not that I swallowed the red-pill now, but, recently, I became extremely aware of the situation. As I go to work every morning, I pay close attention to the people, my managers, and colleagues, they all appear very smart with high level of engineering skills, but there is something wrong, something odd, it looks like 98% of them didn’t really choose this path, or more accurately, they don’t want to be there but they don’t know that they don’t want to be there. I start to question everything, If I give my fullest to my work, realistically speaking, where does that take me? Is that really my goal? Yes, I understand everyone should work hard on their job, but is that rational? After all, life is like a jungle with its own rules. Which rule should I play? Do I even see the rules? Am I aware of the rules that I follow?
Every day, it hits stronger, and stronger, pushing me into creating the ultimate escape plan, I call it “Freedom”
‘’Freedom’’ is still in its early stage, but its developing and growing steadily.
The past few days have been rather eye opening; I see myself losing interest in some things and building tractions in other things, more like I started to prioritize better, don’t get me wrong, I have been doing well for few years, but that’s in the eye of others, not according to my own standards. Then what is my standard?
I started to see things for what they are rather than what I want them or wish them to be or how they appear to be, but straight to the point. Why are we waking up in the morning, then going to work, doing the things we have been told to do, spending money on things, and repeat the same cycle over and over. Is it our own choice to do so? If so, is it rational? What is rational?
Work:
I want to spend some time talking about work, because it is the most frustrating part that I don’t like in my current lifestyle. Even though my job and current pay based on my years of experience/country/discipline is considered on higher top end, however I am sick to my gut waking up everyday going to work. Yes, I AM grateful for the job, yes, I am aware thousands of people will love to have my job, but that’s not what I want according to my own standards, for myself, for my own standards, I want to own the 24hrs I receive each day, own it completely. Meaning living the Maverick style to the fullest, without the need for a crutch. Without the feel of postponing the “being present’ into some future that never arrives.
My job as an engineer seems like a dangerous trap that most young engineer graduates fall into and never realize until it’s too late. You get a position after graduating, and somehow, the company will sell you a vision that’s not really of your choosing, but after some time, they convince you, you then forget your own dreams, ambitions, desires and you start to follow the goals/visions of the said company, only years later to realize ‘’where did my life go?’’
Typical trap.
Anyways, of course I have seen all this coming way before graduating university, its not that I swallowed the red-pill now, but, recently, I became extremely aware of the situation. As I go to work every morning, I pay close attention to the people, my managers, and colleagues, they all appear very smart with high level of engineering skills, but there is something wrong, something odd, it looks like 98% of them didn’t really choose this path, or more accurately, they don’t want to be there but they don’t know that they don’t want to be there. I start to question everything, If I give my fullest to my work, realistically speaking, where does that take me? Is that really my goal? Yes, I understand everyone should work hard on their job, but is that rational? After all, life is like a jungle with its own rules. Which rule should I play? Do I even see the rules? Am I aware of the rules that I follow?
Every day, it hits stronger, and stronger, pushing me into creating the ultimate escape plan, I call it “Freedom”
‘’Freedom’’ is still in its early stage, but its developing and growing steadily.