my heart is all kinda in a whack *sigh* that ghetto black girl is like SERIOUSLY trying to become a couple, and we had a talk today with her asking if we're going to be together, and I had to express my concerns that I do not take manipulation very well. and that what it SEEMS like she's doing is sketchy, as if she's trying to get something frome me. i said that without accusing her of it, and she reassured me that's not what she's doing. we spent maybe 20 or 30 minutes together and then on the way back, she asked me again if we're together and I said "let me pray about it"... my heart is telling me no. I know I won't be faithful. Not to mention I'm expecting to leave the country in a month, and she is asking to come with me. red flag, yes? oh also, she's talking about having kids already--SUPER red flag. so yeah, my dick says let's GO but my heart is all bent out of shape, and since the two are not in alignment, it's very difficult to move forward... especially since my past trauma gets in the way. i wonder if OGSF would be better to run than OF?
on the bright side, there's definite proof SM3 is working: she commented on me looking into her eyes like my eyes are saying "f*** me" so that's the eye seduction aspect of the program coming to fruition.
edit: in retrospect, this is a problem that I NEVER expected myself to have.... sm3 ftw.
on the bright side, there's definite proof SM3 is working: she commented on me looking into her eyes like my eyes are saying "f*** me" so that's the eye seduction aspect of the program coming to fruition.
edit: in retrospect, this is a problem that I NEVER expected myself to have.... sm3 ftw.
