Ricardo's DMSI 3.1 Journal (nonsense free)

[CatMan]

I've felt very similar to you Ricardo, for awhile now. I wonder if it's MORE than simply indifference. Like there's something in the script making me feel this way, and this is just a lack of need, and perhaps I've never felt this way before. But I feel it's so intense that they don't bother me anymore, like I'm tired of them and the whole endless pursuit. They really don't seem to matter now, like I've checked out of it all and don't view them as nowhere near worth the time and energy to get them as it's been a waste of time for me. I've written a few times, about how I can't tell if I'm indifferent about women, or simply viewing it all as futile to keep trying for women. If I got a clear sign this program is doing something to the women around me, then I could figure out what's going on inside me if anything, based off how I act and if I get stupid and thirsty. Or, if I'm calm and can move things forward. I'm at the point where I can't tell if any progress even internally for me about women is being made because nothing seems to be happening externally with women to gauge it. It feels the same with them, nothing stands out to me.