Ricardo's - AM 6 Journal [FINISHED]

[DarthXedonias]

I think your mostly right Natious though I would also add in how much you listen to the sub and your individual personality. For example, i'm getting extreme results despite how bad my past was and being a social outcast most of my life. I'm starting to think this is because I practically listen to the sub 20 - 21 Hrs each day and the way my personality seems to work is that I make most changes through contemplating them or coming to a realization that changes my perspective. A good example, that also pertains somewhat to this thread, is the realization that finally ended my 3 week resistance to Stage 3. One day I just took a nap and for some reason as soon as I woke up I had this realization that i'm too logical and rational. I realized there comes a time when you need to get angry to let people know they've crossed your boundaries and that its OK to express emotion.

The reason it took 3 weeks is because I had a major fear that was masquerading as logic. It was the fear that if I show those emotions on the surface I would lose control. Which as i type this I just realized something else. Before AM6, in those rare times I would show emotion I would lose control but it wasn't because of the emotions themselves. It was because I had kept bottling them up but at the time I couldn't realize this, so i just blamed the emotions themselves. This all just reinforced my major fear even more.

I don't know if its going to quite effect you or Ricardo the same way but by the end of stage 3 you both probably won't have much tolerance for BS like you use to I can tell you that much