RainbowAbyssAlpha

[Cortez]

You must burn to grow~Arnold

At least you know it's having some powerful effects on you, right? Imagine how good you'll feel when the dust settles.

[Spiral]

oh yes. and thanks for that post rainbow. that sort of describes how I feel. the neediness may stem from the lack of confidence and focus which causes us to be lazy and indifferent but we urge for some sort of attention. it will get better. I'm already starting to get over my little cold and I don't know how tomorrow could be any worse than today... if it is... dammit

[RainbowAbyss]

Haha cortez great rhetoric, I just got to hold
out, but Im so tired of postpoing being ok in and capable in my life
Must...delay...gratification grrhh
spiral, good to know Im not alone in this
I have to drop hardcore music while lifting to, that really seems to throw me off
To much violence, misery and aggression and just leaves me burnt out
I love that kind of music but Im begining to realize it can't be good for me

[RainbowAbyss]

Ok so 4 hours os seek the challenge, then to sleep on 10 hours alpha stage 4 011
I put seek the challenge on and after half hour, and a sip of red bull, I was reving to do some work I had been putting off, the more I wrote, the more I wanted to right and felt great about it, 3 and a half hours went by in a jippy
that sub gets the thumbs up as far as first listen immediate effects
That was last night, today is day 5 on alpha stage 4 011:
I feel very relaxed, body language is getting more and more fluid despite
Perpetual bombardment of soreness and stiffness from olympic lifts and squats
felt more centered today but I have this self conciousness again, my presence feels HUGE
and for u escoterics readings this I feel like my energy, or aura is filling up and 'invading' everyone
around me lol, IDK any other way to say it.
Neediness is dissapating again, like others have said
there is no real thrill to 'being alpha' in this stage.
I actually feel much friendlier and others r extremely respectful and friendly
Im been out of my house more, just to get out, and my current routine is really starting to bore me
sexual energy is growing
Im also moving really slowly which is weird but fun
I feel a constant sense to do new things, keep changing
and go after what I want for myself, but don't always have the energy
to do so.
I had a girl I barely know text me out of nowhere, after not seeing her in months
I seem to draw women in quite easily, much more so than 010 but something still feels off when I engage, like I can't quite be myself,
My mouth is working and Im touching and there all smiling but Im in my head worried and not really feeling it, its weird, I've never had anything like it before
On 010 I felt extremely indifferent even in the begining of stage 4 010, now I care about making things work
whatever it be, and when they don't it kinda annoys me

---

I will say this
as of today, stage 4 011 is getting better and better for me
I like the effects in general-it just doesn't even feel like an alpha set
I have zero aggression most of the time, and kind of want to smile at everything

Im gonna post in this journal alot until sunday and Im hoping by then u can let me know if I should
stay with stage 4 011 since ur the only one who knows what should be going on

[RainbowAbyss]

This feels great to hear!
But to be sure, which did u think was rougher, the first few days of 010
Or 011 stage 4?
I will keep going for sure
as things r picking up for sure
And now we will be the first to finish alpha 011!
even if we cheated lol

[RainbowAbyss]

Day 6 stage 4 011
Thinks r getting much better
the nervousness, offness, depression, boredom, and confusiong
seem to have been gunk that rapidly came up as it is getting purged out of my system
I feel reall bright and positive now
Much tougher and more extroverted
the first few days I coudn't stand to be alone
and my comfort with this has returned as has an ease in social enviroment
I have a new drive and hope that I can do what I want to do and create what I want into fruition
Alot of self doubt is way down, and I feel a really strong sense of self worth and capacity
the thing I like about this stage and am getting more used to is things seem to orchestrate
and fall in my lap,
women r checking me out from far away and the moment I notice they get all flustered
But what's really weird, but cool, is when women r near me, they go out of their way to physically bumb into me.
on the subway or elevators, even when its not all that crowded, they will just put there breasts right on me,
or one time a girl was just leaning her entire body on me when she had plenty of room to stand straight.
Im good looking, but not that good looking, its weird but Im not complaining
I also feel way more self control
Im eating way healthier
and ignoring thinks I don't like without engaging
I seem to have gained a 6th sense to tell what is fake, approval seeking, or some other bs and I just straight up ignore it. This feels much more discerning than previous stages and when I sense it, it is revolting to me,
I was judgming myself for this in the begining as well but that has mostly fallen up.
I realize the sense of falling apart must have been structures in my mind I was clinging to, that were getting swept away, I felt like I was losing my self when it was just stale protective armor that was cramping me in and keeping me from fully feeling what's around me.
Hope it keeps picking up like this...

[Cortez]

It will keep picking up like this and that's all you should expect.

It's crazy to have your eye's opened to people's approval seeking behavior. That type of behavior is so distasteful after doing the alpha set for so long.

[Benjamin]

The good thing about reading other peoples journals is I start to notice other changes in myself that I wasn't aware of.

I am also noticing other peoples approval seeking. Like some dude telling me all these tall stories that obviously aren't true and I realized what he was doing and smiled to myself and had a laugh about it after that. I don't really care and unless it involves me I feel no need to call him out on it.

A mate told me a few years ago "Some people are big in their own mind, so why not let them be."

[K-Train]

Hey Rainbow, do you remeber the effects you felt from BIABW Sexually? I was curious since it's currently sitting in my hard drive waiting to be used. How did it feel combined with Alpha?

[RainbowAbyss]

Hey K-train, I remember describing it like I was wearing highly approachable androstenone.
but let me try to be a little more detailed. I don't know about it on its on but I did it with stage 3 alpha 010,
the first few days I had some resistance, self conciousness, really irritable, not very relaxed, but I think all that had more to do with combining it with Alpha. As far as the effects, internally I just knew and felt beyond a shadow of a doubt that women would want me sexually, I felt sexier but not like das, it was much more powerful and more a part of me than something I gave off. I also felt relaxed but energetic, felt really good actually, and I remember when I looked in the mirror how magically gorgeous I was lol. I also felt way more like talking to women and pretty confident in general. I also felt really strong connections with women when we walked by eachother and would make eye contact. Externally results were women were def. Checking me out Strongly and with interest, like they thought I was really hot, it was def. Sexually but not akward at all. and not like the look and then look away kind of thing, they would stare and when I looked they would be super receptive. I felt like the male equivaltent of a blonde bombshell with DDs, it was really fun and I can't wait to get bak to attraction subs, even though the stage Im on is doing a pretty good job with this kind of thing, not as fluid but still a pretty good job.
I did feel less of that stage 3 alphaness when I combined them, but I still liked the two together, but as I wanted to get the most out of Alpha, when I found out the BIATBW sexually script was to long, I dropped it:

---

Hope that helps!

[K-Train]

Perfect! As always! It's strange, but other than you and Hypnoticeyes I haven't seen any other reviews on this product. I can't for the life of me understand it. I've thought about using it for a while, since I've only got one more stage of Alpha after this. From what you described, it sounds like Aura of Sexiness on steroids.

I'm eager to get back into the saddle with the Attraction subs as well. I would have LOVED to get Alpha 2011. It's funny to me, but a lot of the PUA guys spend YEARS doing all sorts of stuff just to get the type of reactions you're getting. Have you thought about getting involved in any natural game stuff? It seems like it would suit you well and ehance your results.

[RainbowAbyss]

Thanks man!
I was a wallflower in the community for my better years in college
A couple good things came from it, helped my maturity a bit, but in general it I feel I suffered alot from
their false beleif systems. I got into self imrpovement and spirituality out of it though, through Deida. I dropped
everything to do with the community about 6 months ago and my life skyrocketed because of it, that and I got into sky and Rion williams which is what I think u mean by natural game? I never stuck to either of their practices to consistently but have recently gotten bak into both hardcore.
Do u have any other recomendations for natural game?
I feel like I have the attraction capacity, the raw athleticism so to speak,
but I need a bit of refinement lol I def. I put fun over trying to have sex anyday
But that means I turn into an awesome worldwind jackass!

[K-Train]

Thanks man!
I was a wallflower in the community for my better years in college
A couple good things came from it, helped my maturity a bit, but in general it I feel I suffered alot from
their false beleif systems. I got into self imrpovement and spirituality out of it though, through Deida. I dropped
everything to do with the community about 6 months ago and my life skyrocketed because of it, that and I got into sky and Rion williams which is what I think u mean by natural game? I never stuck to either of their practices to consistently but have recently gotten bak into both hardcore.
Do u have any other recomendations for natural game?
I feel like I have the attraction capacity, the raw athleticism so to speak,
but I need a bit of refinement lol I def. I put fun over trying to have sex anyday
But that means I turn into an awesome worldwind jackass!

Your experiences mirror mine. I got interested in the whole PUA thing just after high school. I never got seriously into it, but some of the stuff they had (and still do have) were eye openers for me. I didn't go too deep into it, but I did use some of their teachings while using pheros and it definitely paid off. The best thing the PUA community taught me were relationship dynamics, at least some of the basics.

As far as suggestions, there's a thread over on AD that I can link you to in PM that went over some interesting titles/authors along with reviews courtesty of the fine members over there. RADMAN could also help you out there as well, he's been deep into the PUA scene so he knows the ins and outs pretty well.

[RainbowAbyss]

Cool, can u pm the link.
Ye by Radmans avatars he looks like he knows what his doing lol
I personally would rather blow myself out than ever go a1 through s1 again though,
I like the whole improve myself and then just going out
And things happen paradigm, this has largely been my experience,
I have no image to convey or uphold, if its on its on, Im just interested in making it on even
more and more often!
I will say pheros are so freakin cool, I switch wearing them and not wearing them every night I go out
And I think they have their advantages and disadvantages but phero nights r almost always more fun
Im high on moneesss...

---

Day 8
stage four alpha 011
its gettin better!
Its unreal how powerfull the effects of this thing
R becoming, my entire mindset feels different,
Each day I have less negativity and resistance and more comfort with myself.
Without caring about being Alpha my behaviour is becoming so empowered.
I am leading way more in all situations, I just find myself leading groups at work
and with friends improtu, I have always tried to be at cause rather than effect and this stage seems
to be putting being at cause as my default setting rather than something I have to get to.
The effects r really hard to explain but its like Im on top of everything, no hesitation, one step ahead, effortlessly moving towards my goal. I really feel like my own boss, its strange because I have lost any sense of obligation to anything outside of myself and my sense of ethics.
I also went out to a super high end venue in the city and was approaching women right away, it wasn't unconciously automatic, but I told myself I wanted to and it was easy to do, so the stage seems to be directly or indirectly helping with that. I am also commenting and getting into more convos with people, mostly cute girls, in the street and througout my day.
another effect seems to be that doubts and insecurities that come, the moment I notice them, become like slingshots to take action anyway. This could be the seek the challenge sub kicking in but Im only getting an hour or two of that a day to Alphas 8-10.