11-06-2012, 02:37 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-06-2012, 02:38 PM by RainbowAbyss.)
I ended up running ASC 5g for another few weeks.
And now am on extreme self esteem and luck magnifier.
ASC was really great, its amazing how natural it felt. I found
myself having the confidence to do all the things I was avoiding or wanted to do
and completely letting go of stuff that others wanted me to do that was not in service of my life.
Socializing became way easier and more fun when I was interested, but in general I became less interested.
Its like the more confident I become the more I would observe others actions were rooted in
really self doubting places, and it became harder to hang around those kind of people.
Extreme self esteem is surprisingly good sub, its 3g but it had me feeling really good about myself within a few days, and much more motivated.
This whole last month I have been feeling better and better about who I am yet feeling like nothing
in my life matters. I realized the hardest part of life, at least for me, is deciding what I want for my life, not getting it.
I am going to swap out Extreme self esteem for Overcome fear soon. But am considering running the new chronic useless pain sub for a while. I get really bad tension headaches, low back pain, and back of neck pain for no apparent reason. I believe its from when I hurt both my ankles really badly, those points on my body starting overcompensating. Its been causing a lot of internal distress this past month, and while I have come to quite comfortably live with it, lot of mediation and letting it be has helped, it would be cool to have it NOT be the norm again.
I'm getting really excited from subs again. Honestly I have not been getting as much out of subs as I would have liked lately, my own life circumstances have made me very resistant to change and I have been using subs to help with in the moment problems rather than the long term vision of who I want to be and how I want to be in this world. Lately it feels like the have been effecting me well but its not causing any difference in my life circumstances, although that is really secondary to the changing of myself. When I have had the most success, is when I REALLY wanted to do a sub and I made changes in my life with its help. That hasn't been the case lately, I've been coasting and in a bit of a dark night but feel I am really moving out of it now.
Its frustrating when life doesn't evolve for me as fast as I would like it to, but truly I have had the most ridiculous things happen with subs help. Just as fun story, I've been on Ryan's trend a little lately and wanting a way to get involved in a form of art in a big way, acting and music. This was while I was on LM btw. A day after I started feeling that the old studio, which is next door to me, got rented out by an extremely famous rock band drummer. I can't say who for disclosure reasons but I was just laughing at how ridiculous that is lol.
He keeps a really odd schedule like me, late night, and whenever I go through in the elevator, which connects to my house, we hang out and sometimes drink together. Just talking to him has been incredibly interesting and fun and made that whole big world seem like such not a big deal.
And now am on extreme self esteem and luck magnifier.
ASC was really great, its amazing how natural it felt. I found
myself having the confidence to do all the things I was avoiding or wanted to do
and completely letting go of stuff that others wanted me to do that was not in service of my life.
Socializing became way easier and more fun when I was interested, but in general I became less interested.
Its like the more confident I become the more I would observe others actions were rooted in
really self doubting places, and it became harder to hang around those kind of people.
Extreme self esteem is surprisingly good sub, its 3g but it had me feeling really good about myself within a few days, and much more motivated.
This whole last month I have been feeling better and better about who I am yet feeling like nothing
in my life matters. I realized the hardest part of life, at least for me, is deciding what I want for my life, not getting it.
I am going to swap out Extreme self esteem for Overcome fear soon. But am considering running the new chronic useless pain sub for a while. I get really bad tension headaches, low back pain, and back of neck pain for no apparent reason. I believe its from when I hurt both my ankles really badly, those points on my body starting overcompensating. Its been causing a lot of internal distress this past month, and while I have come to quite comfortably live with it, lot of mediation and letting it be has helped, it would be cool to have it NOT be the norm again.
I'm getting really excited from subs again. Honestly I have not been getting as much out of subs as I would have liked lately, my own life circumstances have made me very resistant to change and I have been using subs to help with in the moment problems rather than the long term vision of who I want to be and how I want to be in this world. Lately it feels like the have been effecting me well but its not causing any difference in my life circumstances, although that is really secondary to the changing of myself. When I have had the most success, is when I REALLY wanted to do a sub and I made changes in my life with its help. That hasn't been the case lately, I've been coasting and in a bit of a dark night but feel I am really moving out of it now.
Its frustrating when life doesn't evolve for me as fast as I would like it to, but truly I have had the most ridiculous things happen with subs help. Just as fun story, I've been on Ryan's trend a little lately and wanting a way to get involved in a form of art in a big way, acting and music. This was while I was on LM btw. A day after I started feeling that the old studio, which is next door to me, got rented out by an extremely famous rock band drummer. I can't say who for disclosure reasons but I was just laughing at how ridiculous that is lol.
He keeps a really odd schedule like me, late night, and whenever I go through in the elevator, which connects to my house, we hang out and sometimes drink together. Just talking to him has been incredibly interesting and fun and made that whole big world seem like such not a big deal.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
