01-17-2015, 07:48 AM
Day 16
Yesterday, I was at work and I was speaking to someone a lot and by the end of the day I felt very drained, negative and vulnerable.
What annoyed me was that I was speaking too much about my self, I was too open, honest and told things about my life and goals that made me feel at the end of the day very bad, vulnerable and exposed.
This was so out of the blue for me because I like keeping things to myself, especially about my own personal life, it just feels sooo much better and I feel it gives me power over my own personal life. I just don't like people knowing my personal life, the only person I trust and I am 100% honest with is my wife and I feel comfortable speaking and telling her stuff, I wouldn't no one else.
So on this day I messed up. I was surprised at how much the negative emotions came because of all this.
That night I had to try and find relief in my emotions I did pstec and meditated, I then went and watched a movie.
As I went to bed it was still on my mind playing over and over with negative emotions attached still, so I did my best to guide my thoughts to pleasant things and to just let go into peaceful slumber that I was desiring.
Sleep it a blessing within it's self, I love sleep, it helps a lot.
Today I did still have it on my mind not as bad, but I did decide to do a few round more of pstec, which helped.
I now am at the place where I feel I made a mistake and I will just be more aware next time and not be completely open, I just feel better this way and it don't help telling anyone my personal business.
I don't know if I felt this way because I don't trust the person fully, or I just don't like feeling open, vulnerable, exposed. Or I don't like telling people, then failing at something then having to tell them I failed, (because they know about it) Or it is the extrovert stuff in AM5.
I feel disappointed in myself, I have these emotions that I don't understand and all I know it is because I spoke too much about myself, my beliefs, goals, personal stuff.
At least I have learnt something from it. Thank god for pstec though, it help a lot with my silly negative emotions, that where crippling me.
For some reason, keeping things solely to myself for example my goals and dreams... give me power. I have learnt my lesson.
Yesterday, I was at work and I was speaking to someone a lot and by the end of the day I felt very drained, negative and vulnerable.
What annoyed me was that I was speaking too much about my self, I was too open, honest and told things about my life and goals that made me feel at the end of the day very bad, vulnerable and exposed.
This was so out of the blue for me because I like keeping things to myself, especially about my own personal life, it just feels sooo much better and I feel it gives me power over my own personal life. I just don't like people knowing my personal life, the only person I trust and I am 100% honest with is my wife and I feel comfortable speaking and telling her stuff, I wouldn't no one else.
So on this day I messed up. I was surprised at how much the negative emotions came because of all this.
That night I had to try and find relief in my emotions I did pstec and meditated, I then went and watched a movie.
As I went to bed it was still on my mind playing over and over with negative emotions attached still, so I did my best to guide my thoughts to pleasant things and to just let go into peaceful slumber that I was desiring.
Sleep it a blessing within it's self, I love sleep, it helps a lot.
Today I did still have it on my mind not as bad, but I did decide to do a few round more of pstec, which helped.
I now am at the place where I feel I made a mistake and I will just be more aware next time and not be completely open, I just feel better this way and it don't help telling anyone my personal business.
I don't know if I felt this way because I don't trust the person fully, or I just don't like feeling open, vulnerable, exposed. Or I don't like telling people, then failing at something then having to tell them I failed, (because they know about it) Or it is the extrovert stuff in AM5.
I feel disappointed in myself, I have these emotions that I don't understand and all I know it is because I spoke too much about myself, my beliefs, goals, personal stuff.
At least I have learnt something from it. Thank god for pstec though, it help a lot with my silly negative emotions, that where crippling me.
For some reason, keeping things solely to myself for example my goals and dreams... give me power. I have learnt my lesson.
