08-22-2013, 12:48 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2013, 12:51 AM by Javier Gerardo.)
Yeah It's been roughly a month since I last posted an update.
Starting August I switched from using OGSF to Alpha Male 5.0
Finally bro! After a year of wanting to get the Alpha Male Set, I am now using it. A big thanks to Shannon for doing the Anniversary Ridiculous Sale.
I plan on creating a new journal for this Alpha Male 5.0 subliminal experience. What do you think guys? But it's also good that I stick to posting here so I can easily see my past postings and progress.
Now, as Rocky said, "The world ain't Sunshine and Rainbows". At the start of using Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 1, I am having dreams almost every night. I can hardly remember much. But I am sure they are making changes within me. As I have read, the Stage 1 is designed to clear up negative images of self. It is already pushing me hard. Every day I experienced a deep sadness over a lot of things. At this point in my life I discovered I have a lot of issues in myself. The fears that were supposed to be cleared up by OGSF, I believe is still strong here. I still fear that I will never make it financially. That I won't have enough for the future. I fear that my family will eventually die and leave me all alone. Same with my current relationship. I fear that she might leave me and I don't know what to do anymore once she does. I have a strong fear of being alone. I feel sad every time I see other people even on Facebook with their friends and significant other enjoying the time of their lives. I've had a good number of friends whom I have lost contact over the years. I do believe this has contributed a lot.
My insecurity have increased during the last month. I cried in front of my sister due to the issues in my relationship and me still not financially settled down. With my relationship, I believe that there are days wherein I am complicating the issues we have. My sister said that it is entirely not my fault. That my gf is also being quite immature and wasting a great guy like me. Of course she takes my side because I'm her brother. But I do get her point. Like times when my gf doesn't reply I'm paranoid all of a sudden. I mean I shouldn't because we work at different time schedules and secondly, I should be secure and trusting.
I know Shannon already gave me a reply here about me having intense fear about losing my girlfriend. I am already justifying how much better she is than all the girls out there. These fears of mine are taking a toll on myself. As of right now, I am already giving her a lot of space since before I am kind of strict on her. The problem is that we only see each other once a week and I feel we are growing distant. She's also kind of commenting whenever I went out with my friends or on my own. She admits that she's a bit of a jealous type but I kind of feel unfair with it. I let her go out with her friends and family almost every time. I'm a real trusting type so it's not an issue. The problem is she might think I'm doing something wrong every time I go out. I do love her and I have no plans of doing something that might break her heart. But she should trust me back in regards to this.
In regards to my job, it's been good overall. The workload is okay and I am not stressed out. The salary though is below my standards. The company is really under a tough financial situation so I can't complain. I should be happy as it is that I am earning money.
On the positive note, when I'm out I still can easily talk to strangers. I don't know but I seem to be becoming a natural with it. Even though I rarely go out with my friends or meet new people I believe I still can. Sometimes especially at work I feel that I am just showing a fake smile and happiness just to cope up with the problems in my relationship, my friends and at home.
So here I am finally being content that I have finally brought Alpha Male 5.0. Frankly I am really afraid of the changes that this sub might bring. I am afraid to lose something. I am afraid that I will lose control. I am afraid of the pain and suffering that I will have to go through in life.
I must not fear
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass
Over me and through me.
And when it has gone past
I will turn the inner eye
To see its path.
Where the fear has gone
There will be nothing.
Only I will remain....
- Frank Herbert's Litany Against Fear
Starting August I switched from using OGSF to Alpha Male 5.0
Finally bro! After a year of wanting to get the Alpha Male Set, I am now using it. A big thanks to Shannon for doing the Anniversary Ridiculous Sale.
I plan on creating a new journal for this Alpha Male 5.0 subliminal experience. What do you think guys? But it's also good that I stick to posting here so I can easily see my past postings and progress.
Now, as Rocky said, "The world ain't Sunshine and Rainbows". At the start of using Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 1, I am having dreams almost every night. I can hardly remember much. But I am sure they are making changes within me. As I have read, the Stage 1 is designed to clear up negative images of self. It is already pushing me hard. Every day I experienced a deep sadness over a lot of things. At this point in my life I discovered I have a lot of issues in myself. The fears that were supposed to be cleared up by OGSF, I believe is still strong here. I still fear that I will never make it financially. That I won't have enough for the future. I fear that my family will eventually die and leave me all alone. Same with my current relationship. I fear that she might leave me and I don't know what to do anymore once she does. I have a strong fear of being alone. I feel sad every time I see other people even on Facebook with their friends and significant other enjoying the time of their lives. I've had a good number of friends whom I have lost contact over the years. I do believe this has contributed a lot.
My insecurity have increased during the last month. I cried in front of my sister due to the issues in my relationship and me still not financially settled down. With my relationship, I believe that there are days wherein I am complicating the issues we have. My sister said that it is entirely not my fault. That my gf is also being quite immature and wasting a great guy like me. Of course she takes my side because I'm her brother. But I do get her point. Like times when my gf doesn't reply I'm paranoid all of a sudden. I mean I shouldn't because we work at different time schedules and secondly, I should be secure and trusting.
I know Shannon already gave me a reply here about me having intense fear about losing my girlfriend. I am already justifying how much better she is than all the girls out there. These fears of mine are taking a toll on myself. As of right now, I am already giving her a lot of space since before I am kind of strict on her. The problem is that we only see each other once a week and I feel we are growing distant. She's also kind of commenting whenever I went out with my friends or on my own. She admits that she's a bit of a jealous type but I kind of feel unfair with it. I let her go out with her friends and family almost every time. I'm a real trusting type so it's not an issue. The problem is she might think I'm doing something wrong every time I go out. I do love her and I have no plans of doing something that might break her heart. But she should trust me back in regards to this.
In regards to my job, it's been good overall. The workload is okay and I am not stressed out. The salary though is below my standards. The company is really under a tough financial situation so I can't complain. I should be happy as it is that I am earning money.
On the positive note, when I'm out I still can easily talk to strangers. I don't know but I seem to be becoming a natural with it. Even though I rarely go out with my friends or meet new people I believe I still can. Sometimes especially at work I feel that I am just showing a fake smile and happiness just to cope up with the problems in my relationship, my friends and at home.
So here I am finally being content that I have finally brought Alpha Male 5.0. Frankly I am really afraid of the changes that this sub might bring. I am afraid to lose something. I am afraid that I will lose control. I am afraid of the pain and suffering that I will have to go through in life.
I must not fear
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass
Over me and through me.
And when it has gone past
I will turn the inner eye
To see its path.
Where the fear has gone
There will be nothing.
Only I will remain....
- Frank Herbert's Litany Against Fear
"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
