Overcoming Fear v4: The Special Case Files

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #14 On #1

Early in the day, but had a weird dream involving waiting for the bus and shooting arrows at my house. Got onto the bus and a queue started waiting to get my ticket. Driver was helpful. Not sure what that means.

I also haven't had any more skin problems, just normal bumps which disappear really fast. During work I haven't felt the need to use OF in the moment for the past two weeks, so whatever fear was causing that panic seems to have dissipated.

//Work girl for those interested

On Friday after opening evening work girl was nice towards me and took one of the wheelchair users to physio for me. At the end of the day she seemed a bit nervous. I think she has some sort of fear related to being abandoned, which would make sense.

I haven't mentioned this but last term when we had a positive interaction during lesson the following day and two I had a really intense focus on her, almost a sort of trance, where I was mentally going over us being together, and what that would entail. It lasted for the whole weekend, and I wasn't putting any effort into it; it was hard to disconnect from. The following Monday she comes in black, which shes done twice now, which I think is her way of signifying she's taken or some such. Strange girl.

I've also noticed that she spells my name with a lower case letter, whereas with others it's with a capital. This has happened twice now and I think it's symbolic of how she views me.

Anyways, just some food for thought