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Title: Overcoming Fear (Multiple Versions)
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#29
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:Oh boy where to begin with this. Lots and lots of changes and I have to think of most of them since I haven't felt the need to post any of this. I'm only doing so now because (1) I have plenty of time to do so, (2) It might help out some people by reading this and possibly give some hope to those still resisting, and (3) It might not be best to get results then just disappear like some forum members have done in the past. I do admit I was very resistant to this due to this idea I have now that I rather not focus on past victories when there are still more victories to come. 

- Fear is pretty much completely destroyed and even times when I would "almost" feel that emotion it only takes me a second to say "nah" and dismissed whatever I might have tried to be fearful of. 

- I would say before that my general sense of well being before the breakthru was probably fluctuating between a 1 and a 4 based on how bad the PTSD might be that day. Now, I would say I fluctuate between an 8 and a 10. I reach a 10 at least once a day as it is, a kind of high on life type feeling. Other times its just a relaxed calm happiness and confidence. A very grounded feeling.

- I don't give a crap about calling people on their BS to their faces. I've actually already done this to several women automatically with little thought. For some reason I find it now "fun" to do this to people and see their reactions. I also don't mind blocking them when it gets stupid and just moving on to something else with my time. My time is more valuable than dealing with idiots. 

- Funny enough I actually enjoy texting people, etc a lot more or going outside. When I was very, very young I was actually quite outgoing to a degree and talkative. Only reason that changed was because of past situations which caused me to slowly withdraw emotionally and personally from engaging people. 

- A somewhat minor thing but shows a big shift in how I do things. I've been playing the Hitman 1 and 2 series the last couple of weeks. At the beginning I would look up how to efficiently do certain challenges and story quests for various stages. Now I don't even look them up anymore and just try to figure them out which can take quite a while and kind of have this huge resistance to looking up how to do them. This actually touched on a huge fear of mines: Fear of making mistakes. I think this fear kept me from trying lots of things in the first place unless I had detailed instructions or something to guide me so I wouldn't make mistakes. If I could or didn't feel confidant enough about the info I was given (or it was a field where it was impossible to move throughout without making mistakes) I would probably just not even try whatever it was. Essentially failing before the race even started. Now I don't give a crap if I make a lot of mistakes along the way and i have a persistence now to keep on trying until I get it. I don't want some easy way handed to me. 

- I deserve to live a life of luxury and deserve to sleep with hot women if I want to. More than anything I feel like I am destined for such a lifestyle. I "know" therefore that the new DMSI and UMS will work when they come out.

-DarthXedonias said this here
 
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#30
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:Cycle 6 - Day 2 &3

Latest achievement: jealousy is at an all time low. Other than that still feeling good and enjoying life at its fullest :-)

-Mr_steevee said this here
 
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#31
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:Hi Shannon. Perhaps you don't recall my posts about this issue. I can add some perspective here. My brother has Schizophrenia. I've spoken about it before here, as well as his use of subs. He is followed by a doctor, medication etc.

That said, as I've mentioned before, OF 5.75G is the first sub to finally show real progress with his paranoia, that has derailed more things than I can count. E2, E3, OF4G, OF5G, ARA, all of them did not help beyond at times stopping an attack or lessening it. Even then, that was pretty rare. When OF 5.75G debuted, I hesitated getting it for him for awhile, remembering how hard we tried with the other subs with getting the loops in and just huge hours of listening daily with the earlier versions. But, I thought the money to me is nothing...having a chance to rid my brother of this horrible paranoia is worth it! At present, OF has given him over a month of zero paranoia. Which has been unheard of, since the attacks began over 15 years ago when I took him out. They've happened ever since...for 15 years. Awful, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Hopefully now, this will hold and he will be rid of them for good. I plan to keep him going on the 8 month run. Excellent response to this one, at last. I told him I'm jealous of his results with a sub, haha! undefined

Anyway, just wanted you to know. All the best.

-Catman said this here
 
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#32
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:Cycle 11 - Day 4
OF decreases my approach anxiety dramatically. Yesterday at the gym a girl was doing a calisthenics skill which I tried to learn some time ago. I complimented her and asked her about her routine and we chatted a bit. Today at the supermarket a girl with a very nice summer dress crossed my way and I told her that I find her dress beautiful.
I could not even image doing that (sober lol) a few weeks ago.

-Mr_steevee said this here
 
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#33
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:Well I think its time for an update.

So far it feels like a few things have become permanent (as far as permanent removal which this FRM was supposed to accomplish from my understanding). Still despising people who try to manipulate me and I will continue to call them out on it. It is amazing how much people try to manipulate others. Had a women try that game on me. Try to manipulate me to do something for her which was trying to play on a now none existent fear (a fear that produced neediness). All it ended up doing was making me ignore her for a while and also not giving a shit about whether she was in my life or not. Can't stand people who try to manipulate me and I find it a major turn off now. Don't try to find some excuse for them now like I might have done in the past or doubt if it really was manipulation because I might be "afraid" of offending them.

Actually won't let people get away with trying to blame me for shit that is not totally my fault. I will literally tell them to fuck off for the most part. Also getting less interested in playing toxic online competitive games for this reason. Why should I add more stress in my life dealing with morons , most of whom don't even have anything going for them in real life and just talk down to each other in these games to make themselves feel good? Seems like a waste of time and the beta way of making yourself "feel" alpha in an area that doesn't even matter in the real world. I mean maybe if you were playing this stuff competitively and getting paid for it sure but most people aren't. They are just using that shit to make themselves feel good and to hide away from the real world. I'm very tempted to just start option trading and Forex trading early but its not so much fear stopping me but I rather have all things going in my advantage. So I rather wait until the new UMS comes out and I have all my energies focused on that one singular goal.

-DarthXedonias said this here
 
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#34
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote: A few weeks ago my mind deemed it impossible to overcome all my fears. Now, flash forward, I am starting to believe it is possible. It still seems a ridiculous notion, but achievable. 

My energy levels are the best they've ever been, except today, but then I haven't managed my sleep well. This shall pass. I am vocal about my thoughts and re-enforcing the line right away when someone tries to cross it. As a matter of fact, I stood against some people I've been meaning to all my life. Not with the intention to pick up a fight or demean them, but calling them out on their absurd thought process especially when it involves me. But despite my best intention, I still do need to find some finesse when it comes to that. 

There's a sense of novelty all around me. As if I am viewing the world from a different set of lenses altogether. It's fresh, it's exciting, and it is filled with content. I am pondering upon a success lot of lately and what it would mean for me to be successful. What I always thought I need to be successful is turning right on its head.

-Breeze said this here
 
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#35
Overcoming Fear 5.75g.

Quote:So here we go - I will list the bigger ones
First of all it didn’t make me a ladies men or some kind celebrity (well that’s not the Programms goal right)

1. I like socializing much more. I now enjoy being around people. OF has helped me to be myself in social situations.

2. approach anxiety is almost gone. I have no problem approaching strangers anymore. 

3. fear of driving is completely gone.

4. I masturbated a lot in the past. Now I reduced it to a healthy amount. 

5. I am a perfectionist and always have been. But the need to do everything perfectly is not that much present anymore. 

6. My attitude to life changed. I am muuuuuch more relaxed reacting to life’s circumstances. 

7. jealousy is not an issue anymore.

8. In the past I sometimes got angry for no reason with my girlfriend. This is not the case anymore.

9. My mind and my thoughts are much more clear. 

10. No more overthinking over everything

11. Flirting is now great fun and I noticed I am pretty good at it :-)

12. I don’t fear being left alone anymore. In the past this made me really needy in my relationships 

All in all it allowed me to do things I wanted to do but hesitated  to do. It changes your thought patterns a lot but it’s not that it hits you in the face. You have to watch very carefully. I suddenly noticed that things I didn’t do in the past are no problem anymore. I also stopped overthinking every bit and piece. If I want to do something I do it. Of course sometimes the nagging voice is still there but hey I have another 4 months ahead and it’s much more quiet than before. Due to the fact of being much more fearless my performance in my job has improved. But not only in my job but also in bed with my girlfriend. Expressing myself freely sexually has been a big one for me.

-Mr_steevee said this here
 
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