Overcoming Approach Anxiety with a Positive Attitude

[Cortez]

You'll get over it. It's kind of a dumb fear and yet one of the toughest ones to overcome for some odd reason. We're very weird creatures, lol.

[Shannon]

You'll get over it. It's kind of a dumb fear and yet one of the toughest ones to overcome for some odd reason. We're very weird creatures, lol.

+1

[Spiral]

For a couple of days there I was feeling generally great and also very peaceful. However today a little anxiety popped up and I just felt a little off BUT it's not a big deal to me anymore. It is what it is. It looks as though i'm hitting another drop in the roller coaster of subliminal madness.. and I think it's related to the OAA sub. I havn't had much resistance lately to the Positive Attitude sub. In fact not for the last week which is why all the time I generally feel good. I'm not hopping around like a bunny or super extroverted talking with everyone and cracking jokes.. but I'm just feeling more at ease and at peace. And speaking of... I'm much more comfortable cracking stupid jokes and chuckling at them a little more than usual even if no one else finds it funny.. or I just say stupid things to give people a little bit of a hard time.. especially if they have been giving me a hard time. Of course it's all in a joking manner and now there is a warmth emenating from me - in my speech and in my body language; everything I do. I'm not as intimidating as I once was I think. And I don't just gaze into people's eyes for no reason anymore like I used to back in the Cory Skyy days. I bet people were like.. he's kinda scary but in a hot sort of way.. weird. Now it's more like.. yea he's a nice chill dude you should get to know him kind of thing.

[Spiral]

Finally! I'm so relaxed and very easy going. I take a moment to look around the room and make eye contact with most people. And I do my best to put on a nice pleasant face.

I made some eye contact with some pretty beautiful women today and some looked down submissively and their facial expressions were like wait what just happened? And then there was another one who was very pretty I saw in publix was looking at me already before I noticed her and she looked away quickly. So I'm still getting checked out.. but havn't had a nice connection with a total stranger in a while.

Either way though.. I'm becoming very comfortable with myself and everything else.

[Spiral]

Wow I love this combo. There have been minor ups and downs but all in all it seems like it would be a wonderful pre req for sex magnet after alpha. I'm running this combo for another month before starting sex magnet.

I'm positive for the most part. I'm never overly over joyed but I'm quite content. And most anxiety has been dealt with however.. being around beautiful women has been a challenge. There's no limiting self talk that comes up but I just feel a little different. As it is I still don't get out much and socialize but I ran into someone and we began talking. He teaches karate at the college and apparently it's not just for students so I'm gonna check that out on monday.

EDIT: I thought you guys might find this quircky.

I just got back from a fishing trip and the night before we left Me, the captain, a few of his buds, my crew member, and the captains wife were all drinking and eating hamburgers.

Anyways, as the night was ending I asked the captain about something in relation to what we were just talking about (fishing and how customers like aciton more than just going for the biggest fish) anyways he obviously felt I wasn't paying attention or interested even though I was looking at him and saying cool and what not. His words trailed off but he finished what he was saying. Then he wanted approval by asking me "Know what I mean?" and I said "yes I know what you mean".

Maybe he wanted me to chime in and say yes I get that.. If I was a customer I'd want to just have fun and fish without trying to get the biggest fish.. But that didn't really come up into my head nor did I feel like talking. So after that I began talking to his friend after he asked me a question and answered him and then out of the blue the captains like "Ryan, you just don't give a fuck do you?!" I guess he was messin' around but I didn't like it so I just looked at him and said excuse me? "You just don't give a shit!" I just proceeded to continue talking to his buddy and the captain then said "Ryan, have you ever interjected someone?" then I said "yes" and then proceeded again to talk to his friend and he continues to interject me being a smart ass. Before all this we've been on great terms but I didn't appreciate this behavior and didn't know why he felt he needed to act this way.

Anyways.. he stopped then came up to me and put his arm around me and made some joke relating to the shirt I was wearing but not about the shirt. Then I said "yes I guess he just wanted to quit" with a grin on my face (had the grin on me face pretty much the entire time this all happened). This was an answer to his question that he asked me jokingly trying to lighten the mood. After I said that though he took his arm away and put his head down and sulked away for a little bit. Then I just said goodnight to everyone and my crew buddy and I headed down to go to sleep.

Now, I do give a fuck. I want people to feel good and appreciated by me. Sometimes all I can do is say that's awesome and cool and some animated facial expressions. I ask questions because I'm interested. But when you start offending me in one way or another I stop giving a fuck.

If any of you can picture this situation in your head how would it make you feel? Would you just go with the captains new vibe or get aggravated and just stop paying attention to the obnoxious behavior.

I think a year ago if this happened I would start defending my self... but I didn't here.

[woceyes]

i don't know what tone he spoke in or his body language to fully judge the situation. it sounded like you did what you had to do.

I wouldn't care a lot of things just don't bother me but,Knowing me and how i am i would have said sarcastic answers or witty reply's back to the captain. they both always seems to work with people. straight up bluntness always works as well with people who don't speak with enough vigor to hold your attention. I have used that a lot and they usually get the hint you don't want to talk or care enough to talk with them.

[Spiral]

Well his tone is what offended me. I can't remember if he had a straight face or a smirk.. but I just couldn't take him seriously because he was drunk. And that's what I do these days.. I tend to give people straight answers because I don't beat around the bush anymore. It's not this way when it comes to women I'm incredibly attracted to however but I'm striving to make these changes slowly but surely when I have the opportunities lol. A big issue is deciding what I want and just going for it. But.. these days I've been going for it more often than not.

With no anxiety comes an insane amount of indifference and I've been experiencing this over the past week. It's nice.

[Spiral]

Wow, it took awhile but I took initiative. I've made a few friends.

This past weekend I was returning my cable box. Waiting at those places is a pain and I decided to sit down and relax. Unfortunately, I began sneezing like crazy. This bug I got down in New Orleans stayed with me up until today. Anyways, a man and his girlfriend were discussing a new package they were about to purchase and the man turned around and was like "man we just got over our little bug!". He proceeded to tell me they had just gotten back from New Orleans. What a coincidence. He found it funny after I had mentioned I JUST got back from there. Anyways we started talking and I learned he teaches karate at the college. It's a free class he does for the community because he loves it and invited me. I went tonight and I put into practice everything I've learned so far from Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". OAA has helped me so much as well to just relax! Once I got in there I was just hangin out doing my thing (stretching). There were 8 other people there I think. Anyways I remembered everyone's names and made sure to mention it at least a few times while talking with them. I socialized with everyone and got to know them better. A few people aren't local but I learned that there are also other regulars that come in. The ratio of people seems to favor the males but I don't give a &$%^. I'm glad I got out and did something that allows me to move around and burn some calories.

Oh and what's awesome about this is when I went to the P.E. complex here for the state university I couldn't find the class. I must have been early. As I was leaving I saw a couple get out of the car across the parking lot. I just slowly mozied on over there and said Hey them and asked them what they knew about the karate class. They were apparently going to it. Both my age, girl was a little older and she was absolutely gorgeous. I thought about maybe turning up the heat a little bit but I'm sure I did enough with just my eyes. That's all I can really do anyways since her boyfriend or brother (I never found that out) was there and I'm just not gonna flirt with her in front of the guy she came with out of respect. I did find out they are not married, though. I had no problems smiling.. in fact I was just enjoying being with new people. I thought I was happy before.. but I feel more fulfilled now that I have had more human contact outside of work now. In fact, work has been a little different for me lately. It seems like the people there are more friendly around me because I'm just being more friendly and relaxed in my own body. I'm not getting stuck in my head anymore. I'll just go up to someone at work and look at them and smile with this big ass grin on my face . For no reason and walk away. If I don't walk away I'll say whats up. It's all coming from this "I really don't give a f%$#" attitude.

I love it!

I will add one of the guys I had met there had been studying martial arts for 20+ years! I would have thought this guy would be more aware and easy but he just couldn't look me in the eyes. He always looked down and never up or away.. and I kind of felt weird around him because he was being weird! No matter how long I looked at him or listened to him or even when I met him we never made eye contact. Now, I never was that bad back in the day.. but I was bad about making eye contact. And now I really know how it feels to be disrespected like that. He may not have known he was disrespecting me but he was. I'm glad I've learned this over the last several years rather than later on down the road.

[Spiral]

I think everything seems much easier for us if we just go with the flow. If you start to do something that begins to feel off then don't do it. If you are about to do something but second guess your self, don't do it. Relax and breathe and then continue on with something else. I know this is pretty general but something happened while I was in the grocery store the other day.

I locked eyes with one of the cashiers that I had seen before and had shown blatant attraction right off the bat but I havn't gotten checked out by her in a while. I was going to find a line so I could pay for my food and we locked eyes mutually as people were already walking in front of me in line and I continued to walk by and we continued to hold eye contact for a good 2-3 seconds. I noticed the next line was much shorter and I was about to go into that line but I just wanted to go to the other line to see the chick. I don't know what I should have expected but what I should have done is either continue making eye contact and stay in her line when I first began searching for a line or continue moving into the next line since I was naturally moving that way. I had interrupted my natural flow of movement and that had affected her right off the bat because as soon as I got back to her line she never once made eye contact with me and rushed through checking my stuff out. Also though she could have been having a bad day or whatever but maybe she sensed some neediness because that's obviously what I had projected once I broke my flow. I don't really give a !@$# about it but I need to not give more a @#$@ and just stay on the correct path.

This seems to be very very important. If it doesn't work out the first time take the scenic rout and do something different but smoother.

[LionMonkey]

Also though she could have been having a bad day or whatever but maybe she sensed some neediness because that's obviously what I had projected once I broke my flow. I don't really give a !@$# about it but I need to not give more a @#$@ and just stay on the correct path.

It reminds me of times when I have been on the dance-floor or on the scene at the dance-floor.
I feel and project a positive, sexy, not caring attitude and women notice this and do different things to get my attention.

Then I've experienced, if I break the momentum and are not focused, I will easily break it, the flow. But if I decided to act upon it, it usually tends to go great as long as I was not doubting myself (comfortable). Or I had times where I just didn't care and some women understand this too and later they'll still see me as all the positive things (because I still had the energy).
I guess it's all about how one truly feels in given situations and moments.


- LM

[Spiral]

Alright well after a nice weekend that could have gone a lot better I've decided to begin sex magnet immediatly. I really need to rid myself of neediness and at the same time I just havn't been able to find the will power to just go for things that I havn't before. I'm really having trouble leaving my comfort zone and I'm tired of it.