OSC 6G

[User_000]

I think confidence is getting on the nerves of the fearful part of myself, i can no longer relax without having self harmful thoughts, disgusting thoughts, every kind of shit that would make me experience fear, at first i just try to deny those thoughts and forget about it, but as usual they kept getting on my mind, there is one difference between before and after OSC, before those thoughts would make feel fear and get worse until i got distracted by something else or lessened a bit, now it's like noise in my mind, annoying as hell but i don't feel that fear, now i'm trying to fix those thoughts, if i think about a knife cutting a limb then i change the limb for sausages, if i imagine gunshots then i change it to videogames, the ones i can't change are the disgusting ones, those make me sick so i do my best to ignore them. It's also making me wary of every little noise in the surroundings, i don't fear that but i can't avoid paying heed to it even if i know it's nothing, very annoying. Fear is slowly being replaced by something like "can you just shut the fuck up" attitude.