OGSF 5.9G

[User_000]

Looks like I still can't overcome the fear that triggers anxiety attacks, I was watching a video talking about human body then had an anxiety attack, lie in bed, passed out and woke up on the floor. It is intriguing how this time i didn't resist it at all, just lie in bed, feel the pain and close my eyes, actually wasn't that bad and didn't even thought i was going to die, but now my head hurts as well as my arm, fortunately nothing serious.

[User_000]

Something is weird, maybe I'm getting TID from DMSI, whenever I use it my smell change and I notice it but now I'm getting the same smell for a few days without reason, and almost close to finish the 4 months run of OGSF, there is also another reason I think this is happening but hardly believe it myself, subconscious is pretty amazing if that's the case.

I'm still pondering if run it again since my symptoms are always fucking around, well actually there is not so much difference if I use OGSF or not, it's almost the same haha.

[User_000]

It's very likely i'm getting TID from DMSI, but the difference is huge, no more emotional repression (i let my anger out whenever i get mad which is awfully frequent, i don't know if E5 would help with that), my confidence is high as hell to the point i just don't care about my surroundings or what others think or if someone is watching me, of course i'm not a sociable guy so i'm on my own and that's fine, I can walk without getting stiff and for some reason women interact more with me but i just don't care haha, maybe they are in a good mood or something.

[User_000]

Once again I stand here to reveal how much I progressed and first of all I switch to ultrasonic since hybrid seems to be wearing me off. It is very nice and smooth, don't feel like i'm dying recently so next is the fact my worse fears are being worked on and finally giving amazing results.
My OCD is greatly reduced and now i can accept failures more easily. It was pretty hard at first but I can be more relaxed now since my self destructive thoughts were also enhanced by OCD. Most of them are gone and is amazing.
I don't know if there was some kind of fear, shame or guilt behind it or even lack of self esteem, love, confidence or whatever but before I was always complaning about how shitty life was, then one day it finally got straight to me that I can choose my actions and give a damn about negative stuff. I mean is not the first time I heard about it but looks like some part of me didn't understand that until it was represented by something other than rational thoughts and mere words. So happiness comes from inside that's the conclusion.
Today i found a video about psychogenic death and I was very surprised to hear about something like that. Maybe i could have died as well in the past because my symptoms were that bad and my anxiety worse. This one is very interesting, looks like I developed a fear that prevents me from thinking I'm about to die or i can die at any minute. Some days before that was also being worked on but looks like this was the final touch.
I'm glad I don't have to wait until 6G to put an end to this problems of mine.

[User_000]

So OGSF is going to be updated... I'll gladly buy it.

Just when I realised that the volume i had set for ultrasonic was a bit low and now after reading the description again I have corrected it, I have to say that i never thought a simple click would make a difference but still my body gets anxious, hopefully the next OGSF is the last I have to use so I can focus on other stuff.

Tonight a had a dream about one of my biggest fears. something very primal as protecting my territory which are my belongings most of the time rather than personal space, i just hate when someone mess with my things and get mad at it so what happened in my dream wasn't very pleasant for me but at least worked in an instinctive way. I was choking the person messing with my stuff and then woke up feeling chills.

[User_000]

I can hardly believe it is working this well, i have a deep fear that makes me feel extremely anxious and that leads to anxiety attacks similar to seizures which results in me passing out after feeling i'm about to die and is triggered by something as irrational as seeing or hearing about human organs or diseases or wounds that my mind associates with extreme physical pain. Today i just happen to watch something about human organs receiving damage and i was starting to feel my body was getting ready for the anxiety attack but surprisingly it was very but very reduced to the point I was almost as if nothing happened, of course my body was shivering and feeling cold after a while and my stomach was also starting to feel pain but that was the most i endured. Usually when the attack ends what remains is a lingering headache and my body feeling unease but not even that happened.

[User_000]

Recently I'm feeling kind of tired but at the same time it feels like if my body is loosening up, going from hyperactive to relaxed is something i never imagined and didn't know how it feels.

Also i'm getting in touch with the authentic part of myself, the one that gives a damn about everything else besides my own will and comfort. Maybe i will try maverick after this since i no longer need to hold back.