OGSF 5.9G

[Sky]

I started my first night of OGSF 5.9G last night, and it's great. Shannon, what did you put in this to make me feel so calm? I have personal reasons for running this sub instead of ARL. 4 months isn't that long compared to 7 months of OFv4.

My initial thoughts:
I felt calm and relaxed in the morning when I woke up. 
I woke up once or twice in the middle of the night.
I dreamed heavily and vividly.
And a big one is that I don't feel the negative thought patterns trying to get me to think negatively because of guilt, shame, and fear. This one is huge.

[Sky]

4 days into OGSF and this is what I've thought of:

I can never seem to make up my mind. I'm indecisive and lack qualities for being an independent man. I think I've improved but... yeah. I've got to practice happiness with where I'm at. I got accepted into a master's program, so I'm happy about that! but now I can't move to NYC while pursuing the masters program. I can't have my cake and eat it too. I'm so apathetic to do something like traveling because of how lazy I am. I am not driven to travel but I want to travel to the big city as much as possible because there are a lot of women there and things to do and some of my friends are there. Plus, with all the things to do, I just think I'd be happier there. However, I can't juggle moving and a masters and paying the high tuition for my masters and the big city's living expenses at the same time. Finding a girl I like is hard. I'm picky. On a scale of attractiveness, I've been called an 8/10 by a girl I dated super briefly, but other women would rate me differently. I think I had plenty of attention from women in college but I was not self-aware and observant at all.


@Frosted I took your advice and am running OGSF. I wonder if Shannon will come out with AM7 soon. I wonder if that will change my apathy and indecision into something else. This is what makes me sad.

Finding a girlfriend has been tough for me. I wish I could've continued with ARL but the anxiety was getting to me. The amount of exhaustion I feel is incredible. I feel like I won't ever do anything with my life and that's what makes me sad too.

Something else that has made me happy is the Google Advanced Data Analytics Certificate. I'm studying for that until I start my masters program depending on whether I get a deferral or not.

[Sky]

I think I feel more clarity. I'm actually going to go traveling with my friend!

[Sky]

7 days into OGSF and things have been good. I've been feeling relaxed and happy. I'm excited. This relaxed confidence is what I'm looking for.

[Sky]

I've noticed that I have felt no anxiety since I've been on OGSF. THIS is amazing.

[Sky]

So... I had an interesting and weird dream last night. I was in a house running up a flight of stairs trying to get away from something while running with Charlie from the show Lost, which I'm currently watching, and the scene changes to this massive chamber or room of lava with a skeletal boss that looks like he's from Castlevania, the vampire and skeleton video game from back in the day. Anyways, is the final boss in my dream, the skeleton in this lava room representative of my fear?

The dream ended with a group of pictures smiling back at me with their faces warping to their skeletal structure.
Quite creepy lol.

On another note, I'm trying to book my flights to a big city and see some more of it. Haven't booked yet, but the dream is to move to there someday.

[Sky]

I don't know if this makes sense, but all of my life I've experienced high and low emotions when I get excited about something or anxious, and then lows when I run out of energy. I have not typically been able to maintain a peaceful state of mind and energy and use that to achieve my goals. For example, moving to the big city is the dream, however I experience highs about it emotionally, and then I get depressed and think it's too much of an undertaking. On OGSF, I'm experiencing tranquility which I'm really happy about and feel that I am steadily staying focused on my goal of moving there or at least visiting there again. I don't feel the pain and fear associated with the anxiety about moving to to the big city on a temporary or long term basis. I think this is the result of OGSF and I'm only so far into the program, not even a month in and I'm really enjoying the benefits of it. Looks like this is the right program for me.

[Sky]

I've noticed the type of music I listen to changes depending on the sub, I wonder if that's a thing or if I'm just being truer to myself on OGSF.

[Sky]

Usually anxiety would prevent me from doing this, but I booked a hotel and flight for a work trip, and I booked a one month airbnb in the area I want to live in and would work remotely while exploring. Now I just need to book the flights for my trip. Hopefully, I don't feel debilitating anxiety. Right now, I'm not feeling much if any, but it can always rear its ugly head. I'm feeling calm and relaxed and thinking about how I can make it there and be self sufficient in traveling.

[Sky]

Going on my work trip next week. I don't feel anxious thanks to OGSF.

I can't for my one month trip in the big city. I'm looking forward to it!

[Sky]

I successfully flew to my work trip and met the executives. No hiccups really. I think OGSF calmed me down a lot in terms of anxiety about this trip.

May 28: I had a weird dream about vampires last night conversing with normal humans in a mansion. I strangely feel better this morning as I was feeling negative last night about my one month trip coming up.

[Sky]

I'm feeling sad that I broke up with my first ever girlfriend last year. She was hot, and I broke up with her because of some issues we had. I couldn't bring myself to feel comfortable around her because of all of the judgment. I wanted to feel comfortable and not judged in a relationship so I broke up with her. Now I'm regretting it. Why are these feelings popping up now?

[Z-Man]

I'm feeling sad that I broke up with my first ever girlfriend last year. She was hot, and I broke up with her because of some issues we had. I couldn't bring myself to feel comfortable around her because of all of the judgment. I wanted to feel comfortable and not judged in a relationship so I broke up with her. Now I'm regretting it. Why are these feelings popping up now?

Have you heal over those issues? If she is still single an available maybe you could get her back.

[Sky]

I'm feeling sad that I broke up with my first ever girlfriend last year. She was hot, and I broke up with her because of some issues we had. I couldn't bring myself to feel comfortable around her because of all of the judgment. I wanted to feel comfortable and not judged in a relationship so I broke up with her. Now I'm regretting it. Why are these feelings popping up now?

Have you heal over those issues? If she is still single an available maybe you could get her back.

I doubt it. The issue was that she was too judgmental. It was her energy and how I felt around her. I felt like I couldn't be myself.