01-31-2023, 09:13 AM
Yesterday I was so excited I couldn't sleep, also yesterday was the first time in my life I didn't care at all about what others think about me (made feel very light), even if I'm watching lewd stuff on the phone haha, well it is the beginning so it's not perfect as the shame came back at night then I realized something today, I care so much about appearance that I'm able to dislike something or someone just because I don't consider it appealing and not only applies to aesthetics but to actions, if I consider the action to be seen as ugly I start feeling disgusted, so living not only caring if I have good appearance but if my actions are also appealing to myself, that's a hard way to live and didn't even realize until now, always criticizing everything but I want to put an end to that.