OFv3 journal

[Shannon]

It will be six months of listening tomorrow, time to evaluate and I am having difficulties doing that, it’s not easy to objectively watch my own fear.

I think I can safely say that all conscious, logical fears are gone. E.g. I got an aggressive form of Covid last month, after seeing a specialist I knew it was a real possibility that it would not end well (I was already using oxygen and it kept getting worse) and yet I did not feel any fear at all, not for one second.
I also don’t get emotionally overwhelmed any more. There was a time before using OF when my resilience was so low that even the smallest emotional stimulation, positive or negative, would make me cry.

What did it not do? It didn’t get rid of an undefined, vague anxiety that prevents me from doing things. That’s still an issue that affects the quality of life majorly. It’s worse than procrastination, it’s paralysis. Maybe it’s not even fear, I don’t know, but it does feel like a knot in the stomach that I associate with fear and anxiety. @Shannon , if you read this, do you think that it is a different issue that could be addressed by E5? (I do know that I have PTSD issues.) Or should I keep going with OF? (That’s separate from the need for DRS I mentioned in another question, that is only temporary.)

Edit: I just read the instructions for E5 again, the following sentence seems relevant to this issue. 

In [E5], the approach is designed to safely make stagnation, avoidance and the like from the subconscious impossible when it is necessary to deal with issues it may not want to deal with.

“Stagnation” and “avoidance” are exactly the words that describe what is happening to me right now.

It is not a matter of "what it will not do".  It is a matter of what some part of you REALLY doesn't want it to do.  The progress you have described, and the state you find yourself in, tell me that it has worked, does work, is working, but something needs to change for you to break through this resistance.

What have been your usage patterns so far?

[fab10]

What have been your usage patterns so far?

I started with standard instructions, changed a couple of things in the first few weeks and eventually settled on 2 days on, 2 days off, 3 loops, silent, volume 12/15 on an iPad Pro.

Edited to add more info: I just wrote elsewhere that I urgently need emotional healing, mainly for a complex PTSD. I understand that E5 or UH would be the best sub for that, E5 being faster and UH deeper, as mentioned in the instructions 

If you want faster results, stick with E5.  If you want deeper results, go for UH. 

So my question for @Shannon  now becomes - should I keep going with OF3 beyond the six months mark (ends today), possibly changing the usage pattern, or should I see how I do with E5?

[Shannon]

If you urgently need emotional healing, I would think deeper results would give you a more complete solution, but in either case, emotional healing sounds like something that you need, so do it.

[fab10]

If you urgently need emotional healing, I would think deeper results would give you a more complete solution, but in either case, emotional healing sounds like something that you need, so do it.

Thank you. I do feel a sense of urgency so I’ll try E5 now and I might switch to UH after that, it could be the best of both worlds.