06-20-2021, 07:57 AM
Day 34
Last night was my 4th night of listening with no ASRB2 break. The first night was 2 loops worth of listening. The other three nights were 3 loops worth of listening. The sub must have been touching on something deep because I had a hard time falling asleep. That was common with OFv2, but has been rare on OFv3. But, I still got a good 10 hours worth of sleep and I feel great. I even walked in the kitchen this morning lit up with joy. It seemed to spread to everyone else in the room.
With all that said, my hands are trembling. I'm even having a hard time typing this. Trembling usually occurs when I'm having trouble executing a sub, presumably because of fear. But, although I'm trembling I don't 'feel' fear on an emotional level. I did feel fear last night as I was trying to fall asleep, but I feel really good today. That tells me that the script which prevents my conscious mind from feeling the effects of processing deep fear is being executed. I can feel it in my body (trembling), but not in my emotions (joy).
I might keep going with the loops tonight. I'm not exhausted yet and I seem to be making headway. Of course exhaustion levels could change when I'm not able to sleep so late because of work. Tentatively, I'm planning on a 5th night on then taking a 2 day break.
Last night was my 4th night of listening with no ASRB2 break. The first night was 2 loops worth of listening. The other three nights were 3 loops worth of listening. The sub must have been touching on something deep because I had a hard time falling asleep. That was common with OFv2, but has been rare on OFv3. But, I still got a good 10 hours worth of sleep and I feel great. I even walked in the kitchen this morning lit up with joy. It seemed to spread to everyone else in the room.
With all that said, my hands are trembling. I'm even having a hard time typing this. Trembling usually occurs when I'm having trouble executing a sub, presumably because of fear. But, although I'm trembling I don't 'feel' fear on an emotional level. I did feel fear last night as I was trying to fall asleep, but I feel really good today. That tells me that the script which prevents my conscious mind from feeling the effects of processing deep fear is being executed. I can feel it in my body (trembling), but not in my emotions (joy).
I might keep going with the loops tonight. I'm not exhausted yet and I seem to be making headway. Of course exhaustion levels could change when I'm not able to sleep so late because of work. Tentatively, I'm planning on a 5th night on then taking a 2 day break.
