OF 5.75

[kuroshabedi]

How my subconscious mind (ego) tries to stay alive lol: 

https://youtu.be/-re0RiYFAqQ

And how i try to get rid of those parts:

https://youtu.be/zsbtKKHnUSI

[kuroshabedi]

Today is again one of those days that i feel paralysed and fearful. A lot conflicting and negative thoughts.. trying to be positive no matter what.. watching a lot motivational clips on youtube 

To describe my feelings: Somehow i fear removing my fears lol if that makes sense..

[fab10]

To describe my feelings: Somehow i fear removing my fears lol if that makes sense..

It makes all the sense in the world: your fear is afraid of dying.

[kuroshabedi]

To describe my feelings: Somehow i fear removing my fears lol if that makes sense..

It makes all the sense in the world: your fear is afraid of dying.

Yes and I somehow turned off my playlist at night thats so creepy why is there no music player when i woke up lol

[fab10]

To describe my feelings: Somehow i fear removing my fears lol if that makes sense..

It makes all the sense in the world: your fear is afraid of dying.

Yes and I somehow turned off my playlist at night thats so creepy why is there no music player when i woke up lol

It happened to me as well, Shannon said that it can be resistance... amazing what a fearful subconscious can di.

[kuroshabedi]

To describe my feelings: Somehow i fear removing my fears lol if that makes sense..

It makes all the sense in the world: your fear is afraid of dying.

Yes and I somehow turned off my playlist at night thats so creepy why is there no music player when i woke up lol

It happened to me as well, Shannon said that it can be resistance... amazing what a fearful subconscious can di.

Wow thats really impressive never thought that this is possible

[kuroshabedi]

Right now i woke up from a dream about one of my fears i wasnt conscious of.

In that dream i was with a girl i think she supposed to be my gf and there were two other males that supposed to be my friends and we had a competition through games. I was feeling very uncomfortable. This came due my fear that i was always uncomfortable with showing my gf to other friends or spending time together with other while my gf is there too. This is totally illogical but it was ver y important to me how my gf thinks about me and i was afraid that when the negativity of others try to push me down she would see me no longer as alpha. So every situation of competition with others while my gf was there was a threat for me. So i was afraid of not beeing alpha and witty enough in some situations and this fear showed in beeing angry at her (i really think the root cause of beeing angry is always fear).

So to sum it up my ego which hides behind my fears was always afraid of this situations and i tried to avoid them but they are totally illogical.. 

those dreams are really uncomformtable because they dive deep but its neccessary to let go

[kuroshabedi]

Strong headaches out of nowwhere. Took 2 ibuprofen didnt work. I really hate those resistance headaches i wish somebody could knock me out to release me from this pain lol

[kuroshabedi]

I had a dream about some deep fears like fear of death of my cat. There were broken glasses on the floor where he was running or another fear was fear of not beeing good enough.

Everyday i am more sure that fear is the root of all problems.. i think its not that some might feel not good enough i think it was first a fear of not beeing good enough and that resultet in feeling not good enough.

I am not sure but i think if we remove the fear of our issues the rest dissolve automatically.

By the way what do headaches mean? Does it mean my subconscious is working on something its resisting? Is it like a door man behind the next level?

[Benjamin]

It can sometimes be a way to try to get you to stop. Like "Oh no this is working, I need to get him to stop to keep what i'm used to".

Usually it gives good sounding excuses that are rational at first. But headaches seem like a stronger one to try to get you to stop what's working. It can also mean a deep fear is being hit upon, our emotions definately can cause physical issues at times.

Other than that when Shannon is back he can expand on it more.

[kuroshabedi]

It can sometimes be a way to try to get you to stop. Like "Oh no this is working, I need to get him to stop to keep what i'm used to".

Usually it gives good sounding excuses that are rational at first. But headaches seem like a stronger one to try to get you to stop what's working. It can also mean a deep fear is being hit upon, our emotions definately can cause physical issues at times.

Other than that when Shannon is back he can expand on it more.

Oh okay thanks i understand. Yes that makes sense most of the time those headaches happen to me when i feel like i am shifting into a new way of thinking or state like my subconscious mind feels threatened of my new way of thinking and now it wants to stop me

[kuroshabedi]

My headaches are gone. I feel a lot better.  I am recognizing that things dont bother me or make me feel fearful. 
Furthermore i talk freely and i am open with people that i was distant.

Fear told me lies and was the reason of a lot negative selftalk and when it got remove my view on life changed too .

Dont get me wrong i am not like spiderman but i am like a stronger and fearful version than before

[kuroshabedi]

I forgot to mention one fear that is significantly reducing and that is the fear of confrontation.(mostly against dad) plus i have a lot dreams about it. 
Some days ago i did some confrontation to him to protect my values that was not usual for me and a huge improvement. I didnt fear the consequences. My inner child was not afraid of dying if that makes sense

[fab10]

I forgot to mention one fear that is significantly reducing and that is the fear of confrontation.(mostly against dad) plus i have a lot dreams about it. 
Some days ago i did some confrontation to him to protect my values that was not usual for me and a huge improvement. I didnt fear the consequences. My inner child was not afraid of dying if that makes sense

Great results my friend, good on ya