Rant Fest *Explicit Language*

[ChrissyC]

Since this is the chatterbox, and we can post anything on here, as long as it doesn't have to do with politics or religion, I'll be posting rants.
You can also post your rants, if you want. I don't care.

Rant #1- Vending Machines

Year 2014. It's amazing how far we have come, in terms of technology. Touchscreen devices, biological weapons that can destroy an entire population, Robots, traveled to the moon and etc..

But we can't seem to manage to get a ***** vending machine to work!

I'm so tired of losing my money to shitty vending machines. I have a very low tolerance level. I remember one time when I forgot to eat breakfast, and I was running late to school. So, I thought, 'I'll just get a snack at the vending machine'. Got to the vending machine, looked at the unhealthy choices that were placed on display in front of me and I chose some mini oreo cookies.

Placed my dollar in, and punched in the digits. The machine started whirling and whirling around the snack I chose, and it stopped.

*****. Stopped.

Oh, that's not all kids. It didn't just get stuck, it's never that simple. It was basically hanging, like the cock tease it is. Teasing you with what you paid, but didn't get.

I'm pissed. SO, I walk away and go get a drink from the probably disease infected water bottle.

Then I see two other girls going up to the vending machine. One puts in a dollar, and punches in the digits.

VIOLA!

Bitch #1 - Wow, Ash look. Two snacks.

Me - Oh hey, yeah. That's actually mine, haha. It got stuck up there, stupid vending machines, eh?

Bitch #1 & naughty little girl #2 glance at each other.

Bitch #2- Stop trying to get free food, just pay for it yourself. Let's go, Meg.

*****..

I start twitching, bones are cracking, skin is stretching. I grow 10x times bigger and my skin turns to a weird shade of green.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I holler. I take my inhumanely large hand, form a fist and slam it on the bitches.

I then take the vending machines, and dump all the snacks into my mouth. Feeling happy and content, ending with a big, BURP.

Real Version-

I flip both of them off, and walk away, stomach slightly growling.

*le cries*

I feel better now. Ciao xx

[Fonzy3]

Since this is the chatterbox, and we can post anything on here, as long as it doesn't have to do with politics or religion, I'll be posting rants.
You can also post your rants, if you want. I don't care.

Rant #1- Vending Machines

Year 2014. It's amazing how far we have come, in terms of technology. Touchscreen devices, biological weapons that can destroy an entire population, Robots, traveled to the moon and etc..

But we can't seem to manage to get a ***** vending machine to work!

I'm so tired of losing my money to shitty vending machines. I have a very low tolerance level. I remember one time when I forgot to eat breakfast, and I was running late to school. So, I thought, 'I'll just get a snack at the vending machine'. Got to the vending machine, looked at the unhealthy choices that were placed on display in front of me and I chose some mini oreo cookies.

Placed my dollar in, and punched in the digits. The machine started whirling and whirling around the snack I chose, and it stopped.

*****. Stopped.

Oh, that's not all kids. It didn't just get stuck, it's never that simple. It was basically hanging, like the cock tease it is. Teasing you with what you paid, but didn't get.

I'm pissed. SO, I walk away and go get a drink from the probably disease infected water bottle.

Then I see two other girls going up to the vending machine. One puts in a dollar, and punches in the digits.

VIOLA!

Bitch #1 - Wow, Ash look. Two snacks.

Me - Oh hey, yeah. That's actually mine, haha. It got stuck up there, stupid vending machines, eh?

Bitch #1 & naughty little girl #2 glance at each other.

Bitch #2- Stop trying to get free food, just pay for it yourself. Let's go, Meg.

*****..

I start twitching, bones are cracking, skin is stretching. I grow 10x times bigger and my skin turns to a weird shade of green.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I holler. I take my inhumanely large hand, form a fist and slam it on the bitches.

I then take the vending machines, and dump all the snacks into my mouth. Feeling happy and content, ending with a big, BURP.

Real Version-

I flip both of them off, and walk away, stomach slightly growling.

*le cries*

I feel better now. Ciao xx

A lot of expensive items are dispensed from vending machines now days. Even marijuana in Amsterdam. That's why you gotta get a guy to give the machine a bit of a shake to get your snack out.; )

Or exercise, get strong and do that yourself.

Thanks

Fonzy

[stratos]

Or exercise, get big and green, and shake the bitches that took your snack.

[ChrissyC]

That's why you gotta get a guy to give the machine a bit of a shake to get your snack out.; )

See now, this can be taken in two different contexts. Lol
If you don't get it, then excuse my perverted mind.

[ChrissyC]

Or exercise, get big and green, and shake the bitches that took your snack.

Hmm, maybe I should suggest a Hulk Edition Stage Set subliminal to Shannon! We're cool like that.
(Hopefully he doesn't see this statement to deny it, lol)
Thanks.

[Fonzy3]

That's why you gotta get a guy to give the machine a bit of a shake to get your snack out.; )

See now, this can be taken in two different contexts. Lol
If you don't get it, then excuse my perverted mind.

I got it, that's why I wrote it.

Or exercise, get big and green, and shake the bitches that took your snack.

Hmm, maybe I should suggest a Hulk Edition Stage Set subliminal to Shannon! We're cool like that.
(Hopefully he doesn't see this statement to deny it, lol)
Thanks.

Or maybe you could use "Extreme Bodybuilding" and look like one of those motivational fitness models.

Thanks

Fonzy

[Benjamin]

I once punched a vending machine cos it stole my money like that. It's also AWESOME how they don't own it and you're meant to ring up a number if there's an issue.. spending all that time and effort to get your $2 back is something nobody is going to do.

Have you heard that they program them to randomly do this so they make more money?

Me neither.. but it would be a funny conspiracy theory to start!

[ChrissyC]

Or maybe you could use "Extreme Bodybuilding" and look like one of those motivational fitness models.

Thanks

Fonzy

Omg, yes!

I once punched a vending machine cos it stole my money like that. It's also AWESOME how they don't own it and you're meant to ring up a number if there's an issue.. spending all that time and effort to get your $2 back is something nobody is going to do.

Right, ain't nobody got time for that.

Have you heard that they program them to randomly do this so they make more money?

Me neither.. but it would be a funny conspiracy theory to start!

Wouldn't be surprised if it was true, though.

[ChrissyC]

Rant #2- Smelly People/Breath

I hate things that smell. Period. But the difference between 'things' and 'people' is that you can dispose only one of those two. If your trash smells, throw it away. Smelly clothes? Wash them. Etc.. But, with people, you can't dispose them.

Unfortunately.

Like, it just sucks even more when you can't just 'stop' smelling them. Like if you hear music you don't like, put on some headphones or whatever. Something you don't want to see, cover your eyes. Something you don't wanna taste, keep your mouth shut. But, what do you do when you don't want to smell something or in my case someone? Like yeah, you might say, "Cover your nose." Okay. Now, the only other place for me to breathe is my mouth. No way in HELL I'm going to breathe in the putrid smell into my mouth.

Shit, might burn off my ability to taste. I like food. So, no thank you.

Today, I was in class and we had to interact with other students about something. Forgot what it was. You'll find out later why I had such a sudden memory loss.

Anyways, I'm grouped up with 1 girl and 2 boys. We're having a conversation and something keeps tingling in my right nostril. I take a large breath.

Biggest mistake of my life.

This unknown, unclassified smell hit me so hard, it triggered my fucking flight or fight response. This boy's stench was so strong, it felt like he had an Aura of Funk.

I swear I was so confused. The smell pulled out the philosopher in me. I started questioning everything.

What is our purpose in life?
What if there are other humans out there and to them we're aliens?
Where do we go after death?
Is it possible there is another parallel universe?
How do humans, not have the capability to properly smell, normal?
Can we really live forever?

Now I don't mean to be a dick, (yeah, I do) but if you can't properly take a shower, a long, long shower, and just take care of your personal hygiene, stay home.

Please. I beg of you. We beg of you.

Ciao. xx

[Spiral]

When I smell something that smells bad, I just like to pretend it smells good. Then it starts to smell good.

Funny how things work out sometimes