Natious's ASC journal!

[Natious]

Can't remember who it was but after doing ASC, on EPRHA he reported of being extremely insecure and so on. Gave me an idea that if the base is not solid then building confidence on it will not be permanent. Although indeed, it's just one of many possibilities.

[JackOfHearts]

Yea but it doesn't mean he lost his time. it's a normal process when you are resisting something. I don't think he lost his time. it won't be permanent but it will be a step forward.
You can view it like a muscle who was trained but not enough in the long term: it's a lot better than nothing. And it's a positive experience.

[Natious]

I never thought of it as losing time, and I see the same thing that I was thinking before a bit differently now.

I do like the idea about it being a normal process when you are resisting, I knew it but it slipped by me somehow. When I resisted this sub i felt like my subconscious sent me instances of situations where having confidence seemed impossible, so I can see how the subconscious could do the same with any sub.

[ffaux]

Overall, seems like a week of this sub has been really good. I'm just not sure how long do I want to commit to it yet. Previously I said 32 days, however if EPRHA will remove the progress there's no real point continuing. I have proved to myself that the subs help. Would like some input from people that ran ASC before EPRHA.

I did 32 days of ASC before 64 days of EPRHA. My purpose with running these programs was to test if subliminal programming was real before buying AM6 (needless to say, that doubt is now totally gone).

When I first started I was deciding between ASC and EPRHA and chose ASC because I didn't believe I needed EPRHA. During ASC Shannon recommended EPRHA to me because I was asking why ASC wasn't having an effect on me and he believed that resistance was the problem.

I took Shannon's advice and ran EPRHA for 64 days and now believe that everyone should run EPRHA as their first subliminal. I believe the name and description of that subliminal is misleading. In the most gentle way it began dismantling negativity and guide me to a more serene mental state which was followed by clarity, focus and progress in my life.

I just took a minute to read through a part of my EPRHA journal and whilst I can't remember the specifics, the transformation is so tangible. If I have one regret with my choices it's that I ran ASC for 32 days instead of EPRHA for 96. EPRHA didn't undo anything from ASC (ASC didn't do much for me because I had strong self-confidence already) but it did expose and undo insecurities that I was trying desperately to hide from the world.

[Natious]

I wish you had written that thing 10 days ago I am sure that I will run EPRHA next, I'm not sure how long I want to continue with ASC.

On to Days 8(21h) & 9(17h):
This will be quite short since I haven't felt any shifts in my behavior or thoughts, and like before I haven't noticed any of my dreams lately and when I do I forget them quite fast.

I have tried to max my exposure to the subs past few days while expecting change, and the weird thing is that I don't feel any tiredness or nausea if running the program over 16h, even while absorbing information from other sources and on 6-7h of sleep (today).
It's either that I have such a strong resistance or I just don't see any difference. And unlike in the beginning, there are no problems surfacing which would indicate that my subconscious is working on something, just that depression keeps persisting.

There is some depression here and there, EFT was quite helpful. It really is an awesome tool. The anger seems to be gone for now which I guess is good and with EFT I was able to release anger that was around 8/10 in about 20 minutes, amazing!

[Natious]

Been gone for quite a while, I have been suffering a serious case of no internet past 2 weeks. I have been sticking to the program only skipping one day due to being so drunk that I simply forgot and didn't feel I could do anything the next day.

So this would be my day 23:
Time spent listening is quite inconsistent where about 40% of the days are 20h and then the rest around 14h+ with 2 days of 8/12h.

It's hard to summarize all of the days, but I'll give my best. I have experienced some serious anger issues over everything and everyone. I feel that I have some serious shame and guild inside, about so many things and top that with being afraid of almost everything although I have developed one heck of a mask for hiding my fears.
I recently read a few good books, one of them being about ADD "Delivered from distraction" which felt like such a relief to read and if anyone here has ADD I'm sure they can relate to the struggles of inconsistency, anger and uncontrollable hyper attention.

It is really hard to see the progress towards being more confident, it's rather like all I can feel is this uncontrollable anger and resentment.

The last thing would be that I will be working starting tomorrow, doing some repetitive manual labor, hopefully I can enjoy it more than I enjoy the thought of it.
Reading wise I would recommend "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" to everyone, see if you can find the connection between EFT and the message. And its only 35 pages long!!!

[Natious]

Day 28: Ahh, I couldn't sit behind my own laptop. The feeling of resentment was strong.

I have been feeling some strong confidence and I think I understand my anger. The confidence is definitely there, but I have been really angry, mainly since I've been acting against my own wants and will most of the time. There are so many things I see differently now, for example ADD has been such a wall and such a gift at the same time.

I have this need saying no to so many things. This is definitely a good thing, but close people seem offended by it.
For now I don't want to write any more since I'm in the middle of enjoying a few drinks.

[Natious]

Day 29: Going strong.

People say I have changed quite a bit over time, can't possibly be a placebo. I think the biggest step forward has been that I've started to express myself to others. In the past I always kept my problems to myself and never talked about them, even to my parents. This has brought up a lot of impulsive behavior and tension between me and people close to me.
I do not know how much the sub has been a part of my changed, but it definitely has helped me. I have been dealing with self growth stuff past 2 years daily looking for answers and this sub has definitely been a big difference.

[adam225]

Nice, at the end of the day though no one can change you other than "you". Subs, hypnosis, meditation all help, but at the end of the day it's up to you to push forward to be the person you truly want to be.

[Natious]

Couldn't agree more, I think of all the negative that happens as progress towards my development. All of that past has to be stabilized somehow and crafted into a positive outcome.

[Natious]

So this sub has finally come to an end, I did 34 days total since I missed one day and had 2 days of only around 6 hours each.

Results: Since I'm not good with goals I didn't have any specific outcome that I expected, but I have seen some changes over the time. It's hard to compare day 1 with day 34, but I can say that this sub has pushed me at least a little towards development, it might be that I have sabotaged the progress a bit, like I have given in to the urge of gaming hardcore and past week or so I haven't had a sober day.
I might cope better with the results of upcoming EPRHA program, since I have realized that I have a lot of fear, guild and shame hidden inside and that's basically keeping me from going out and living a life worth living.
My confidence has been up and down, more down than up, which might mean that I have a whole lot of resistance, am already confident or all these negative beliefs block that feeling.
Out of curiosity, do I have to wait a week before the next program or can I start now?

[Natious]

Wanted to add some things like, I have started feeling really negative over the past weeks and had an anxiety attack for the first time in my life, I actually thought I was going to die.
Lots of suicidal thoughts which I haven't mentioned in the journal before since I tried not to take them too seriously.
Now having been off the sub, I can't say that I feel confident at all. I'm still absolutely resistant to the feeling of going out of my house. I'm trying to find positive outcomes from that sub, but all I can see is that I've wasted 34 days listening and don't feel like I'm confident to any extent. I'm actually afraid to tell people things since I'm afraid of how they might reply, same as day 1 and no better.
Maybe I hoped to get too much out of this sub. I'm kind of mad now that I wasted those days on this sub while the end result is that I don't feel any better to the previous self.
No offense to Shannon's dedicated work on these subs. Maybe I'm in a too shit of a situation in life that this sub couldn't possibly do much.
Anyone else had any similar experience?

[Ricardo]

Sounds like you should run it another 2 months. 3 months is for maximum benefit. You may have a lot of resistance and negativity to overcome.

[Natious]

Sounds like you should run it another 2 months. 3 months is for maximum benefit. You may have a lot of resistance and negativity to overcome.

Thanks for the input.
The thing is that I'm affected by so much stuff from everything going around me and has been going around me that maybe it would be better to swap to EPRHA and play that for the full period of 3-6 months.
You do make a good point though, since that might be my subconscious trying to mess around, a little bit more input on this would be great. And I have taken a 2 days break already which isn't good either.