07-18-2020, 02:27 PM
Day 49 (11)
Due to my mom's poor timing and decisions I'll have to stay at home until Monday. It's fine, I owe her that much and she knows not to ask too much of me - in fact she annoys me sometimes with how much she doesn't want to be a burden for me. She's my mother, to whom is she supposed to be a burden for?
Still, I almost count hours until I'm back in the city. It's sad how I'm more at home in my rented flat that in the house where I was raised but that's how things are sometimes.
I've achieved my lowest-tied NoFap achievement with the 10 days long streak (11 here means I'm on the 11th day now). Next one will be 15 as that will mean the longest streak yet. Then... long trek to the arbitrary 30 days. My problem with NoFap is that one minute of weakness and doubt in the hustle being worth it means all the progress is gone. And it's easy to go for yet another day when there days are few. Having weeks instead of days with possibly a prospect of "never doing it again" is much harder. Still, I have no problem not buying myself a beer as I simply don't want a beer. While 99% of the time NoFap is similarly easy I'd wish it was so the 1% of the time - the 1% that messes the whole project up. And when I'm at the 15 days it will get much harder than it is now.
Still, to think 3 days used to be an achievement for me way back when and 7 days seeming impossible... Yeah, I may not getting to the 30 days mark, but I'm breaking the habit nonetheless.
I'm thinking about writing about the significance of the 30 days and on what I feel changed that makes NoFap easier now, but I feel like some people might not be comfortable with reading about it. We'll see.
Due to my mom's poor timing and decisions I'll have to stay at home until Monday. It's fine, I owe her that much and she knows not to ask too much of me - in fact she annoys me sometimes with how much she doesn't want to be a burden for me. She's my mother, to whom is she supposed to be a burden for?
Still, I almost count hours until I'm back in the city. It's sad how I'm more at home in my rented flat that in the house where I was raised but that's how things are sometimes.
I've achieved my lowest-tied NoFap achievement with the 10 days long streak (11 here means I'm on the 11th day now). Next one will be 15 as that will mean the longest streak yet. Then... long trek to the arbitrary 30 days. My problem with NoFap is that one minute of weakness and doubt in the hustle being worth it means all the progress is gone. And it's easy to go for yet another day when there days are few. Having weeks instead of days with possibly a prospect of "never doing it again" is much harder. Still, I have no problem not buying myself a beer as I simply don't want a beer. While 99% of the time NoFap is similarly easy I'd wish it was so the 1% of the time - the 1% that messes the whole project up. And when I'm at the 15 days it will get much harder than it is now.
Still, to think 3 days used to be an achievement for me way back when and 7 days seeming impossible... Yeah, I may not getting to the 30 days mark, but I'm breaking the habit nonetheless.
I'm thinking about writing about the significance of the 30 days and on what I feel changed that makes NoFap easier now, but I feel like some people might not be comfortable with reading about it. We'll see.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
