12-25-2019, 02:56 PM
Merry Christmas Everyone! Wishes a little bit late but certainly sincere!
Back in the city, for a short time though. My time at my mother's was tough, I won't lie. One's not really eager when you anticipate that your mother will cry at the Christmas feast and that's exactly what happens and there is nothing you can do as you've already done everything these past months. Anyway...
In September I said that the coming weeks will be time to be spent in my comfort zone without any challenges except these self-imposed. And that was true, I kept to that word. This ends tomorrow though as I'll be going to a wedding where I know nobody except for the bride. That's the reason I wanted to listen to DMSI - I ended up listening to 10 loops tops so yeah - and I'm very curious how I'll deal in this situation. I think I'm prepared, let's hope I'll have a good time.
I won't be lying, I must start going out of my comfort zone eventually and this will be a good start. Complete blank slate, far from home, with perfect excuse to be drunk as a log. Serendipitous indeed.
Why I didn't listen to more DMSI? Well, because of anxiety, I didn't want to add fuel to the flame. Yesterday I checked my "stress level" as my phone can do and behold, I had maximum. Without taking any caffeine, soon before bed. I simply did not want to add to that as I'd fear DMSI would not help me with that.
My New Year's (Decade's) commitments are growing more coherent in my head. While I feel a little bit guilty about slacking my standards in December it really allows me to look at my self-improvement from the outside-in kind of way. As I have no plans for the New Year's Eve and I don't plan on making any for any reason other than to prove others I don't need to spend this day lonesome, I will commit this day to writing down and brainstorming ideas.
It might sound funny that I'd commit so much time for something like this but it's not. I want to analyze my past failures, set up rough goals and timetables etc. I want these goals to be realistic and something I'll stick to by developing habits, not something I'll abandon and forget two weeks in.
Most importantly I want to make use of my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I have a year (and on some things even longer) of good data I can analyze, set myself goals that are realistic and challenging at the same time and figure out ways to gamify the self-improvement. I get quite a rush from beating my records and setting good averages on my autistic excel spreadsheets after all.
Back in the city, for a short time though. My time at my mother's was tough, I won't lie. One's not really eager when you anticipate that your mother will cry at the Christmas feast and that's exactly what happens and there is nothing you can do as you've already done everything these past months. Anyway...
In September I said that the coming weeks will be time to be spent in my comfort zone without any challenges except these self-imposed. And that was true, I kept to that word. This ends tomorrow though as I'll be going to a wedding where I know nobody except for the bride. That's the reason I wanted to listen to DMSI - I ended up listening to 10 loops tops so yeah - and I'm very curious how I'll deal in this situation. I think I'm prepared, let's hope I'll have a good time.
I won't be lying, I must start going out of my comfort zone eventually and this will be a good start. Complete blank slate, far from home, with perfect excuse to be drunk as a log. Serendipitous indeed.
Why I didn't listen to more DMSI? Well, because of anxiety, I didn't want to add fuel to the flame. Yesterday I checked my "stress level" as my phone can do and behold, I had maximum. Without taking any caffeine, soon before bed. I simply did not want to add to that as I'd fear DMSI would not help me with that.
My New Year's (Decade's) commitments are growing more coherent in my head. While I feel a little bit guilty about slacking my standards in December it really allows me to look at my self-improvement from the outside-in kind of way. As I have no plans for the New Year's Eve and I don't plan on making any for any reason other than to prove others I don't need to spend this day lonesome, I will commit this day to writing down and brainstorming ideas.
It might sound funny that I'd commit so much time for something like this but it's not. I want to analyze my past failures, set up rough goals and timetables etc. I want these goals to be realistic and something I'll stick to by developing habits, not something I'll abandon and forget two weeks in.
Most importantly I want to make use of my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I have a year (and on some things even longer) of good data I can analyze, set myself goals that are realistic and challenging at the same time and figure out ways to gamify the self-improvement. I get quite a rush from beating my records and setting good averages on my autistic excel spreadsheets after all.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
