09-16-2019, 11:01 PM
Day 11 (2)
Losing More Than You've Ever Had
It seems to work. Sure, it takes some work but getting back to the old habits is more natural than I thought it would be. Thus let me complain about something else
And no, Accept's song has little to do with the story. I just needed nice title. If and when I'll go and revisit my high school sweethearts then this song will come to good use though.
So on Sunday I believe I searched through my pdf collection to look for something interesting to read - a big part of the first run regime of mine. And I chose randomly a book I did not recognize but it was familiar to me after reading it a little bit. I'm still not sure if it's the same book I've read 4 or 5 years ago or if it's something like different edition.
What this book contains is set of exercises using the Law of Attraction and self-hypnosis to do some funky stuff. Won't talk much obviously as it's not good place nor time. Needless to say though I don't like this book too much. Exercises are fun but I don't want them to interfere with LTU. Theory behind them is poorly explained but they have some merit in them.
But that LoA stuff... it reminded me of something. While reading I found that sweet feeling of "how nice would it be if...". I'm sure I've posted here about this already but it bears repeating - I've tried LoA stuff before, a couple of years ago, and it work, it just didn't work as I'd hope it would.
Other thing, again often repeated by me - I don't want to be in relationship right now. I don't have time and energy for it, I'd rather focus on myself than risk another heartbreak and spend my energy on another person, neglecting myself. However, and that's huge HOWEVER, I start to think it's more of an excuse than genuine point.
Week ago or so my flatmate made a test on me, kind of found in self-help books (possibly Brian Tracy book? I don't remember). The last question was something like "What is one thing you want the most if you'd be guaranteed you'd get it". My brain focus on the second part and came up with something that I believe right now is impossible for me - healthy and happy relationship. I still remember my thinking process when I did this, it's almost depressing.
Since then I figured out that the relationship is not impossible. Fault is in myself and my mindset. The book I've mentioned - it contains exercises not only to attract others, but also to be more lovable ourselves. And again, it's unlikely I will do these exercises. But the idea is sound. The question remains though - should I do it or keep the lie a little longer and really, truly focus on myself in the meantime? I still swing towards the latter.
Losing More Than You've Ever Had
It seems to work. Sure, it takes some work but getting back to the old habits is more natural than I thought it would be. Thus let me complain about something else
And no, Accept's song has little to do with the story. I just needed nice title. If and when I'll go and revisit my high school sweethearts then this song will come to good use though.
So on Sunday I believe I searched through my pdf collection to look for something interesting to read - a big part of the first run regime of mine. And I chose randomly a book I did not recognize but it was familiar to me after reading it a little bit. I'm still not sure if it's the same book I've read 4 or 5 years ago or if it's something like different edition.
What this book contains is set of exercises using the Law of Attraction and self-hypnosis to do some funky stuff. Won't talk much obviously as it's not good place nor time. Needless to say though I don't like this book too much. Exercises are fun but I don't want them to interfere with LTU. Theory behind them is poorly explained but they have some merit in them.
But that LoA stuff... it reminded me of something. While reading I found that sweet feeling of "how nice would it be if...". I'm sure I've posted here about this already but it bears repeating - I've tried LoA stuff before, a couple of years ago, and it work, it just didn't work as I'd hope it would.
Other thing, again often repeated by me - I don't want to be in relationship right now. I don't have time and energy for it, I'd rather focus on myself than risk another heartbreak and spend my energy on another person, neglecting myself. However, and that's huge HOWEVER, I start to think it's more of an excuse than genuine point.
Week ago or so my flatmate made a test on me, kind of found in self-help books (possibly Brian Tracy book? I don't remember). The last question was something like "What is one thing you want the most if you'd be guaranteed you'd get it". My brain focus on the second part and came up with something that I believe right now is impossible for me - healthy and happy relationship. I still remember my thinking process when I did this, it's almost depressing.
Since then I figured out that the relationship is not impossible. Fault is in myself and my mindset. The book I've mentioned - it contains exercises not only to attract others, but also to be more lovable ourselves. And again, it's unlikely I will do these exercises. But the idea is sound. The question remains though - should I do it or keep the lie a little longer and really, truly focus on myself in the meantime? I still swing towards the latter.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
