09-15-2019, 09:17 AM
Day 9 (0)
I have some huge mood swings recently. During today's walk I've switched between all 3 modes of listening to music and I've even almost cried while listening to Eluveitie's "Call of the Mountains".
By the way last verse from the last post comes also from their song, "Lvgvs". Song's written in reconstructed gaulish (maining from Gaul, not gaelic from British Isles) but there are some decent-but-flawed translations.
I'd say these swings are unlike me other than the fact that they are exactly like me, just me from before LTU. This means I can manage it and be productive etc. The biggest problem though is that I cannot truly trust myself now. And by that I mean I seem to want and think different things at different times. This makes calls for strong will imposed order and rigor all more important.
But even that is not obvious. Sometimes I think I should do it. Other times I believe I should just let go and let things develop. Other times I feel I need sense of accomplishment to get me out of this state with the source of that sense open to interpretation.
I'll try the "order" approach tomorrow. And if it feels "right" I'll try it for the whole week. Hopefully this will work, if not then I will reevaluate my approach. And I really, really have to figure out what made the "effortlessness" approach work so well before but fail nowadays.
I have some huge mood swings recently. During today's walk I've switched between all 3 modes of listening to music and I've even almost cried while listening to Eluveitie's "Call of the Mountains".
By the way last verse from the last post comes also from their song, "Lvgvs". Song's written in reconstructed gaulish (maining from Gaul, not gaelic from British Isles) but there are some decent-but-flawed translations.
I'd say these swings are unlike me other than the fact that they are exactly like me, just me from before LTU. This means I can manage it and be productive etc. The biggest problem though is that I cannot truly trust myself now. And by that I mean I seem to want and think different things at different times. This makes calls for strong will imposed order and rigor all more important.
But even that is not obvious. Sometimes I think I should do it. Other times I believe I should just let go and let things develop. Other times I feel I need sense of accomplishment to get me out of this state with the source of that sense open to interpretation.
I'll try the "order" approach tomorrow. And if it feels "right" I'll try it for the whole week. Hopefully this will work, if not then I will reevaluate my approach. And I really, really have to figure out what made the "effortlessness" approach work so well before but fail nowadays.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
