Mystic Life - LTU 5

[Mystic Pymp]

Hellblade is a great game. I still haven't beat it, but I had to take a break from it because it got very heavy at times.

For what it's worth I don't think those are heavy delusions or anything to worry about. If you don't have schizophrenia in your family or any diagnoses of it you don't have anything to worry about. Consider this though, a lot of people are under delusion as to what life is. Following routines, authority figures, just regurgitating everything they've been told. The true delusion is when people think they know everything there is to know about how the world works and shut themselves out from any new experiences. Predominately fueled by their fears. I think it's healthy to entertain ideas outside the realm of what most people believe. But as you discovered you have to test them, you can't just blindly believe things.

Interesting fears though. My question would be? Do you trust yourself? Or do you constantly seek reassurance from others to "ground" you?

As per delusions of others I agree but also disagree. It's such an easy thing to fall into thinking in lines of "All those people are sheep and I am AWARE and the most cleverest!". I know because this line of thinking fueled my obsession with conspiracy theories 10 years back or so.

But the truth is you are right - most people with in delusions. Like "hard work is a virtue". LOL it ain't! Clever work, yes - do as much as possible with as little effort. But hard? Nobody became more noble for doing overtime. And there are tens of other examples. All these make people safe and are convenient justifications. We all must make sense of why our lives are not as perfect as we'd like them to be.

Problem I was talking about arises when you make your own delusions instead of one from the "society's official list of accepted facts of life".

Except for cases of alcoholism and family abuse in my extended family (uncles, cousins etc.) there is nothing special about my family mental-wise. Not even Alzheimer's. My cousin's son is on a autism spectrum but that's singular case. So I am not scared that I might have "crazy gene" for lack of a better term.

My fears come from listening to Jordan Peterson I think. In his lectures he poses this theory (that I do agree with) that society - your family, friends, coworkers etc. in particular - serves to keep individual sane. It does it by pointing out bad habits, incorrect thoughts and so on AND it provides alternatives - what you ought to do instead of doing and thinking whatever you do in solitude.

In short society does reality check on you - there is more in this world than just YOU.

I see this in my mother right now. After my dad died she started to seclude herself. There are reasons for that but she does this way too hard. Except for family gatherings all her interactions with fellow men are: at work, the supermarket on the way home and me calling her each evening. And it pains me to see her being so unable and unwilling to go out there. And it scares me what might happen if this continues. What if she becomes one of those crazy old ladies?

There is more to it and I might need to elaborate more on the topic some time later. At any rate I do believe one needs others to "be sane". Am I in danger? No, not right now. Far from it in fact. But if I CHOOSE to become a hermit, pariah of self-imposed exile, then I'll be in danger. So it's better for me not to try being in control 100% 24/7. I must embrace chaotic and infinitely beautiful world of human interaction. Home should be my shrine, not my monastery of solitude.