07-30-2015, 06:47 PM
Continue of Day 7
Just got out of a relationship, romantic / friendship. Not with the friend I talked about in previous posts, hehe. Don't know what to call it. But, it literally hurts so bad. Makes it difficult for me to even continue listening to these Subs. Right now, 90 days seems like a lot!
But, I want to strive on.. hard to even type this hahaha.
I want to actually feel better & look back to this day like, “What the hell was I whining about?”.
I wanna listen to my other Subs, so I have to take this step. I've already seen progress in a week. Listening to these subs require will, holy shit. It's moments like this that, I wish I could just be numb. Unfortunately some of us just feel too much, you know. Succkkkss. Feeling a sense of guilt as well. Trying to watch some Keeping up with the kardashians to see of that'll make me feel better. Girl loves her drammmaaa. Well now I'm a definite need of some Emotional Healing. But let's continue, where were we?
Honestly the guilt just gets worse and worse. No, I am not listening to the sub rn but I'm going to in a sec. I've put up some positive things up on my phone. I won't allow myself to continue feeling this way, I can't. I'm documenting how I'm feeling more for me tbh, only because I want to see a form of before & after. Also so that whoever is reading this gets a clear view on how this sub is working for ME. Just sometimes I wish I can just fast forward to 83 days later. Unfortunately, we haven't created that awesome device yet.
Also before I go, rn I feel like screaming and crying but I CANT. Like I'll feel tears kinda filling up my eyes but they don't want to fucking drop or flow whatever. Honestly, their rent is overdue. Like I feel like crying and just throwing a fit but it's like my mind/body won't allow me to and it's very frustrating because I feel like a shaked can of soda ready to explode but no one wants to open me. ? awful comparison ik haha. But I think now I'm officially finished with day 7 writing. Byeee, for real this time!
And if anybody actually reads all of this madness, bless your wonderful eyes. Bless them. Hahaha k, now I'm leaving x
Just got out of a relationship, romantic / friendship. Not with the friend I talked about in previous posts, hehe. Don't know what to call it. But, it literally hurts so bad. Makes it difficult for me to even continue listening to these Subs. Right now, 90 days seems like a lot!
But, I want to strive on.. hard to even type this hahaha.
I want to actually feel better & look back to this day like, “What the hell was I whining about?”.
I wanna listen to my other Subs, so I have to take this step. I've already seen progress in a week. Listening to these subs require will, holy shit. It's moments like this that, I wish I could just be numb. Unfortunately some of us just feel too much, you know. Succkkkss. Feeling a sense of guilt as well. Trying to watch some Keeping up with the kardashians to see of that'll make me feel better. Girl loves her drammmaaa. Well now I'm a definite need of some Emotional Healing. But let's continue, where were we?
Honestly the guilt just gets worse and worse. No, I am not listening to the sub rn but I'm going to in a sec. I've put up some positive things up on my phone. I won't allow myself to continue feeling this way, I can't. I'm documenting how I'm feeling more for me tbh, only because I want to see a form of before & after. Also so that whoever is reading this gets a clear view on how this sub is working for ME. Just sometimes I wish I can just fast forward to 83 days later. Unfortunately, we haven't created that awesome device yet.
Also before I go, rn I feel like screaming and crying but I CANT. Like I'll feel tears kinda filling up my eyes but they don't want to fucking drop or flow whatever. Honestly, their rent is overdue. Like I feel like crying and just throwing a fit but it's like my mind/body won't allow me to and it's very frustrating because I feel like a shaked can of soda ready to explode but no one wants to open me. ? awful comparison ik haha. But I think now I'm officially finished with day 7 writing. Byeee, for real this time!
And if anybody actually reads all of this madness, bless your wonderful eyes. Bless them. Hahaha k, now I'm leaving x
