07-26-2015, 04:05 PM
Day 1
I've been having issues with a 'friend' of mine. I try to focus on other things, but the feeling of anger, sadness, & abandonment keep rising up. Not sure if it's the sub, but I keep thinking about it on and off. It's very infuriating. I realize I always have this fear of losing people or just a sense of a possessive personality tbh. I really just want this feeling to go away. I wish there was something where I can just remove the emotional pain off physically. Harder to deal with things when you can't see it! Anyways, I won't really be counting how many hours I use this, but it'll definitely be around 8+ hours. Counting them will make me focus to much on the Subs. I'm just going to play them and forget all about it. Also, I'm using headphones, masked version (trickling stream). At night I will be using my phone Speakers, not the best option, but it's what I can make do for right now.
Im having these thoughts of being independent, doing things my way etc..
Day 2
Woke up feeling better than yesterday. I don't feel as bad when I think about certain situations. I'm starting to just think about opportunities for myself to advance forward. I feel calm. I like this feeling hahah. Listened to this on my phone so speaker, phone was literally right next to my head. Had a lot of dreams, vivid dreams. Can't remember them, but they weren't bad, just wished I was able to remember them like exactly.
Day 3
Start of day 3! I've been having Lot of dreams, but not remembering them. I feel more sleepy, I've noticed. Don't know if it's the Sub or just me. Right now I feel calm, which is a good thing. Not a lot of stuff annoy me as much. Trust me. There's a lot of stuff that annoy me. Have you met my family?
I'm noticing that I want to actually be productive and do beneficial things for myself. I want to be more independent and spend less time worrying.
Alright, haha. As the day is going on, Now Im getting irratated. Also, Im thinking about scenerios that make me feel bad. Like dwelling in the past. *sigggghhhh*
Also noticing that I want better things for myself, relationships, education, money etc...
I've been having issues with a 'friend' of mine. I try to focus on other things, but the feeling of anger, sadness, & abandonment keep rising up. Not sure if it's the sub, but I keep thinking about it on and off. It's very infuriating. I realize I always have this fear of losing people or just a sense of a possessive personality tbh. I really just want this feeling to go away. I wish there was something where I can just remove the emotional pain off physically. Harder to deal with things when you can't see it! Anyways, I won't really be counting how many hours I use this, but it'll definitely be around 8+ hours. Counting them will make me focus to much on the Subs. I'm just going to play them and forget all about it. Also, I'm using headphones, masked version (trickling stream). At night I will be using my phone Speakers, not the best option, but it's what I can make do for right now.
Im having these thoughts of being independent, doing things my way etc..
Day 2
Woke up feeling better than yesterday. I don't feel as bad when I think about certain situations. I'm starting to just think about opportunities for myself to advance forward. I feel calm. I like this feeling hahah. Listened to this on my phone so speaker, phone was literally right next to my head. Had a lot of dreams, vivid dreams. Can't remember them, but they weren't bad, just wished I was able to remember them like exactly.
Day 3
Start of day 3! I've been having Lot of dreams, but not remembering them. I feel more sleepy, I've noticed. Don't know if it's the Sub or just me. Right now I feel calm, which is a good thing. Not a lot of stuff annoy me as much. Trust me. There's a lot of stuff that annoy me. Have you met my family?
I'm noticing that I want to actually be productive and do beneficial things for myself. I want to be more independent and spend less time worrying.
Alright, haha. As the day is going on, Now Im getting irratated. Also, Im thinking about scenerios that make me feel bad. Like dwelling in the past. *sigggghhhh*
Also noticing that I want better things for myself, relationships, education, money etc...
