02-21-2019, 10:22 PM
The last few months of 2018 were a wake up call for me. Having focused on things that wouldn't produce results that I said I wanted, I decided I need to actually work on the things I knew were holding me back. Life Tune Up was just the ticket I needed. I started at the beginning of 2019 with LTU 3.1 and decided to keep a journal slightly different to what I would normally do. I'm a writer and find it easiest to understand things by writing them down. I started writing short little passages about myself as I travelled through my mind while on LTU to figure out what exactly was going on and what I needed to do to change it. A few dot points of things I've noticed since January 1st up until February 8th when I switch to LTU 4 and to the present day:
I've started posting my memoirs (I guess that's what you could call them) on my blog, but I'm not sure if I can link that here so instead I'll just post the entries here. This is the first part of the journey through my mind as I go through LTU...
I currently have four more of these in my journal and they've been incredibly helpful in helping me identify problems in my thought process. I hope you guys found it interesting and I'll keep posting more when I get the chance.
- More focused on things that will bring about what I say I want
- Have a solid routine instead of a vague outline and see how it goes mentality
- My finances are MUCH more organised
- Ideas for different sources of income are coming to me constantly
- I've been approached seemingly out of the blue to help foreign students with their english school work
- I've made many friends easily and all of them speak the language that I am currently studying (this wasn't even my intent, they just all happened to natives of the language)
- My diet and lifestyle have significantly improved
- I went from working 5 days a week to 3 days while still making almost the same amount of money
- Great ideas for novels and other things to write are showing up in my dreams with vivid detail
- My excitement and eagerness to tackle the future is constantly growing
- Bad habits seemed to have just vanished with little to no conscious effort
- I've picked up some books to help me cultivate certain skills to better express my stories in different mediums
- I've started reading a book per week (mostly fiction, but branching out into other types, i.e., business and self-improvement)
I've started posting my memoirs (I guess that's what you could call them) on my blog, but I'm not sure if I can link that here so instead I'll just post the entries here. This is the first part of the journey through my mind as I go through LTU...
The crushing of bones and gnashing of teeth echo throughout these empty halls. I comb this structure I call home unceasingly, hoping to uncover the source of the haunting sounds; however, my investigations have remained fruitless for the years they've taken place. My dissatisfaction with what has continued to elude me for so long has been the catalyst of my restlessness. The noise around me has grown in time to mirror my descent into frustration and what little hope I had seems to have abandoned me to find solace of its own.
I cannot blame the part of me that found refuge, only commend it for doing what I continually have failed to do. I have been left with no choice but to sift through the sounds around me in an attempt to find what cannot be seen and answer riddles which cannot be solved. The deeper I dive into the unseen, the more clarity becomes but a foreign concept. I can no longer say my name out of concern for telling an untruth for my identity is no longer who I am. And as my questioning of 'who' falls to the wayside, two more rise up in its place, 'what' and 'why'. My countless attempts at answering these questions have only given birth to more of themselves.
Though these inquiries grew like a beast which grows two heads in the place of one when cut down, they also presented me the answer I had been searching for. My world was a product of infinite boxes and what dwelt inside was forced to fit no matter how uncomfortable. At once, I saw my sense of self had never fit within the confines it had created for itself.
When I realized I had no more need to find answers to the unanswerable, the gnashing and crushing stopped and I was, once more, provided with another answer. The cause of my insanity, the deafening turmoil constricting my soul, was nothing more than the sound of gears turning within my own mind as I struggled to name what could never be placed. Now I have been left with nothing and everything at the same time and the freedom I have found has brought harmony to the world of which I was enslaved.
I cannot blame the part of me that found refuge, only commend it for doing what I continually have failed to do. I have been left with no choice but to sift through the sounds around me in an attempt to find what cannot be seen and answer riddles which cannot be solved. The deeper I dive into the unseen, the more clarity becomes but a foreign concept. I can no longer say my name out of concern for telling an untruth for my identity is no longer who I am. And as my questioning of 'who' falls to the wayside, two more rise up in its place, 'what' and 'why'. My countless attempts at answering these questions have only given birth to more of themselves.
Though these inquiries grew like a beast which grows two heads in the place of one when cut down, they also presented me the answer I had been searching for. My world was a product of infinite boxes and what dwelt inside was forced to fit no matter how uncomfortable. At once, I saw my sense of self had never fit within the confines it had created for itself.
When I realized I had no more need to find answers to the unanswerable, the gnashing and crushing stopped and I was, once more, provided with another answer. The cause of my insanity, the deafening turmoil constricting my soul, was nothing more than the sound of gears turning within my own mind as I struggled to name what could never be placed. Now I have been left with nothing and everything at the same time and the freedom I have found has brought harmony to the world of which I was enslaved.
I currently have four more of these in my journal and they've been incredibly helpful in helping me identify problems in my thought process. I hope you guys found it interesting and I'll keep posting more when I get the chance.
