My DMSI 3.2 B Journal

[iamacat]

Hi,

This is my second day of using DMSI 3.2. I am running hybrid ocean surf flac file from my mobile music player and with my cozyphone sleepphones.

I'm quite a stonewaller and slow to subs compared to many other people here.

I ran the sub for one full loop each time early in the morning after I woke up.

Nothing of note happened in the first day, and I haven't felt anything interesting yet while listening to the subs on my sleepphones.

For the past two nights before I started DMSI 3.2 though, I had vivid dreams about people I had an interest in, and they were seeing somebody else and I felt that it was time for me to give up.

[iamacat]

Day 3

Felt some throbbing in my forehead while running the sub for 1 hour in the morning. Running this sub has been very relaxing compared to previous subs, and unlike other times, this time round I am looking forward to running this sub. In fact, because it is so relaxing, one hour passes by so quickly.

On the previous day,nothing much of note happened but while I was at a carnival, I was walking around an a lady came forward stopped in front of me, then she apologized for blocking me. That's about it. She wasn't really that attractive and I wasn't really paying attention about that until I reached home and suddenly remembered.

Anyway, I have been thinking recently that one of my fears that prevent me from having better relations with women is due to influence from my family , and due to some reasons, I feel that my family members and whatever woman I am seeing will not get along. There is also an element of shame about my family, with my family not doing very well mentally, materially and socially which I believe creates less self-confidence in myself and my ability to generate sexual energy. Apart from that conservative religious upbringing has also created that lack of self-confidence as well as a history of dysthymia and dyspraxia.

So, just waiting patiently for DMSI 3.2B to do its magic. Those people who experience the benefits early in the first few days - you all really make me envious!

[iamacat]

Day 4

While running the sub in the morning with my cozyphones today after waking up, I had my eyes covered.

For a while I could faintly see in the darkness patterns of gold forming. They appeared to be made up of small fragments of gold that were just floating around. I somehow tried to tell myself that my eyes were playing tricks on me and what I was seeing were just illusions in my mind, but my mind did not seem to respond to that and I continued to see the faint gold patterns in the darkness for a couple of minutes.

Last night, I also had a vivid dream about an incident that seems to have taken place when I was in the military and over which I had been blamed. However, in the dream I cleared the issue amicably with my commander and in the end we laughed over it.

[iamacat]

Day 6


Nothing much happening these days- even though I have stayed away from porn for the past 6 days since running the sub.

I had some messages from online dating sites recently, but I have not been on those sites for a long time ago after ending my subscription and don't really wish to pay more to see those messages but is interesting nevertheless.

[iamacat]

Day 9

Continued my daily loop of DMSI 3.2b in the morning. Today I was very relaxed and overslept and exceeded the loop by 12 minutes.

I haven't really been testing out the effects of DMSI in the past two days as I have stayed at home.

I continue to stay away from porn, even though I still have some urge to watch it but the urges are slowly weakening. Nevertheless, I am somehow conscious that my urges might come stronger if I don't have any confidence left in DMSI 3.2 and can't see whether there is any other effect on me other than curbing the porn addiction.

My feelings these days are mixed. I am very much aware that I am in a very tight financial situation, and no doubt I am very very anxious about my situation even though I am expecting some income from certain sources to come in over the next one or two weeks that will keep me sustained for the time-being.

At this point of time, I have not really seen anything that has given me a big boost to my self-confidence or self-esteem, which has never been high to begin with, not to say my confidence with women.

Nevertheless, I have grown some silent confidence (or hope) that in the next few weeks if I continue to listen faithfully, DMSI 3.2 will work its magic.

Perhaps the effects of DMSI 3.2 are too subtle for me to see within the week, especially for a person like me tormented with lots of emotional baggage, trauma as well limited beliefs from my past experiences in life.

If DMSI 3.2 can help me clear all my negative baggage and make me into a better, more confident person in control of himself as well as improve my quality of life, then my next steps are to go help my family members improve theirs with the other subs.

[iamacat]

Day 13

It seems that these days my expectation from DMSI 3.2B is staying away from pornography, and I have stayed away from it for close to two weeks now.

I have been reading up about NoFap and the energy and confidence it promises from staying away from porn, and perhaps DMSI 3.2B in a way has been successful in this area, and if I continue on my current path, I should be able to see some amazing results by the end of the month.

[iamacat]

I relapsed last night and ended up watching some porn after being stimulated by a nude scene in a youtube drama which I had not expected to come across.

So it seems that I will have to restart my NoFap from zero but I am calm about it and believe that I can stay away for a longer period of time this time round.

Otherwise nothing happening for me yet today after did my DMSI loop no.15 in the morning. I went out to meet some people in the afternoon and had a walk, but didn't feel anyone really paying attention to me.

One interesting thing I found out recently was that songs or tv dramas which I had a very faint impression of - I couldn't remember the names- and wanted to watch or listen again suddenly appeared on youtube or by some other means. I had been searching for a few of these for a while online with no success. While I am not sure whether this is an effect of DMSI since it doesnt involve sex appeal or anything, it looked to me that the law of attraction must be working for me to some extent.

I have also recently been bothered by whether I am experiencing some kind of negative cycle . The last time I had similar feelings over my current situation - not holding a full time job and doing freelance work - was sometime in 2011 - that was around 7 to 8 years ago. I have been.wanting to get out of my situation, but this time round I found myself in a deeper hole. My situation involves religion, so will not elaborate in this thread.

[Zane]

What was ur NoFap and Noporn Streak before u relapsed?

Have u noticed any reduction in desire to cut porn and fap ever since u started DMSI?

[iamacat]

I had been wanting to quit watching porn for a long time. Dmsi has helped me a lot in that aspect and once I started listening to it, I lost my urges to watch porn.. until I took the break after 14 days...

So now I have to restart from scratch.

Anyway my resistance to porn is also dependent on how well DMSI is executing. If I don't see any visible effects.from DMSI, I am afraid I might just go back to square one soon..

[Zane]

Day 3

Felt some throbbing in my forehead while running the sub for 1 hour in the morning. Running this sub has been very relaxing compared to previous subs, and unlike other times, this time round I am looking forward to running this sub. In fact, because it is so relaxing, one hour passes by so quickly.

On the previous day,nothing much of note happened but while I was at a carnival, I was walking around an a lady came forward stopped in front of me, then she apologized for blocking me. That's about it. She wasn't really that attractive and I wasn't really paying attention about that until I reached home and suddenly remembered.

Anyway, I have been thinking recently that one of my fears that prevent me from having better relations with women is due to influence from my family , and due to some reasons, I feel that my family members and whatever woman I am seeing will not get along. There is also an element of shame about my family, with my family not doing very well mentally, materially and socially which I believe creates less self-confidence in myself and my ability to generate sexual energy. Apart from that conservative religious upbringing has also created that lack of self-confidence as well as a history of dysthymia and dyspraxia.

So, just waiting patiently for DMSI 3.2B to do its magic. Those people who experience the benefits early in the first few days - you all really make me envious!

You know my family was like that. You know what I did. I put them on E1. Especially my mom and dad cause those two had issues but after 3 months on E1 everything turned out fine.

Now my mom and dad are cutting negative people out of their lives and attracting position ones.

But changing and fixing urself is most imp only after u have healed or fixed urself u can think of helping others no before that.

[Zane]

I had been wanting to quit watching porn for a long time. Dmsi has helped me a lot in that aspect and once I started listening to it, I lost my urges to watch porn.. until I took the break after 14 days...

So now I have to restart from scratch.

Anyway my resistance to porn is also dependent on how well DMSI is executing. If I don't see any visible effects.from DMSI, I am afraid I might just go back to square one soon..

It takes time to break old habits. 14 days is an amazing accomplishment. I am pretty sure if u r on DMSI for more than 4 months ur addiction will vanish.

With time u r only gonna get better and improve. U already know that. Highs and lows will come but only to push u further..

[iamacat]

I had been wanting to quit watching porn for a long time. Dmsi has helped me a lot in that aspect and once I started listening to it, I lost my urges to watch porn.. until I took the break after 14 days...

So now I have to restart from scratch.

Anyway my resistance to porn is also dependent on how well DMSI is executing. If I don't see any visible effects.from DMSI, I am afraid I might just go back to square one soon..

It takes time to break old habits. 14 days is an amazing accomplishment. I am pretty sure if u r on DMSI for more than 4 months ur addiction will vanish.

With time u r only gonna get better and improve. U already know that. Highs and lows will come but only to push u further..

Thanks. My situation is much complicated with toxic family relationships keeping me in the negative cycle.

[iamacat]

Well, the 2nd set of 14 days of listening has come to an end.

This time round, I seemed to have relapsed in terms of my porn addiction.I realised the effect I had is almost the same as that for DMS 3.1A where I stopped watching porn for a period of time after listening to it for 1-2 weeks, and then relapsed again.

Nothing else really happened to have indicated that DMSI 3.2B is working on me.

I guess I will have to wait to try 3.2A to see if I can receive some healing and work around the mountain instead of opposing it head on!

[iamacat]

Day 1 of the DMSI 3.2A sub.

I fell asleep while listening to one loop of the sub but that period of sleep appears to have been longer than a loop or something and I dreamt about myself being appointed to a major acting role in Spiderman 2, when I am not in anyway an actor! I anyway I saw myself being drawn as a superhero in the dream too.