Mind Massage - Stress Relief 5G

[RTBoss]

Day 1

I got tired of running BIAWS 4G, and tired of waiting for EHPRA 2.0. I've always wanted to run SR, so here goes.

I don't have a plan, necessarily. If EHPRA 2.0 does come out soon, I'll just end up running this for 32 days.

First Impression

Relatively quickly, I started feeling a weird sensation. I was mentally prepared for noticing nothing for the first few days or even the first week. Instead, I've felt like I've been drugged all day long.

Today was the first super-nice day in a long time. I had good intentions of going for a jog around the lake, take my son to the park...None of that happened. Instead, my wife and I just felt like napping and watching TV.

I've had some anxiety crop up today, which is a feeling that I haven't had for some weeks now. I've also had some episodes of impatience with my son, but nothing that isn't just a normal day for me. He makes a mess, I get a little irritated, etc.

To sum it up: feeling lazy, relaxed, and a little like I took a benzo. I will likely go to bed earlier than usual today, let alone for a Saturday.

[Nox]

I was also thinking about trying this out as I'm ready to roll wi EPRHA 2.0. Maybe this could also be switched to 2.0 with no break like the free EPRHA?

[RTBoss]

I'm thinking so, as it seems EHPRA 2.0 will be broad in nature - including emotional stress relief.

[RTBoss]

Stress dreams overnight, at least 3. I only remember one.

I had a date with a black girl, who apparently was famous. She was on a popular HBO series, one that doesn't exist in our reality. I'm not even into black women, so it was a weird dream. The stress came in when I needed to be there on time, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get there on time. I was also traveling to her by Tube Car. It was futuristic, we essentially lived in a domed city - very much like Logan's Run. But I always took the wrong tube, or lost directions for how to get to her "Unit" or apartment. At the end of the dream, I found her in a public area with arms crossed, tapping a foot, and of course...I suddenly couldn't remember her name. Figures.

I woke up feeling pretty darn good. Light, airy, and even-keeled.

[LionKing]

Interesting, subscribed! Stress relief seems like it has huge potential, but was only designed for something light.

[RTBoss]

Been calm/sleepy all day. Trying to watch the Oscars tonight, but it's hard to keep my eyes open. It seems like stress actually comes up while I am playing the sub, and I feel more relaxed when I'm out and about.

I'm hoping this sub helps get me back to the RTB of old. When I was in my late teens/early 20s I was very spontaneous. Nothing was too serious. I feel like I was funnier, and laughed more. Destressing can't hurt!

This sub is 30 minutes, and likely a very short script. So I feel like 10 hours of this is like 20 hours of a heavier-duty sub like AM6. I wonder if that theory holds water.

[Zane]

How many days did u run BIATWS?

[RTBoss]

I've run BIATWS a total of 35 days. It's not that the sub wasn't interesting, it's more like it was a waste of time in the personal development sense. I'm married, what's the point? I'm not going to cheat on my wife, and attention from women then becomes more about my ego.

[RTBoss]

Crazy dreams again. I did my best to remember, which had an awesome side effect last night.

The only dream I really remember details was I was getting married...again, to a woman with crazy blue and blonde hair - she reminded me of Lady Gaga. Porcelain skin. She was also pregnant...by her existing husband. So I'm marrying a woman who's pregnant by her other husband, and I'm already married. Then I think to myself, "She's pregnant!? But my wife and I are pregnant, too, how am I going to deal with raising two new babies and my own son!?" <----------- STRESS

I then wake up to my wife making a bunch of noise getting ready for work this morning. I am irritated, and decide to get up and use the bathroom. While I do that, I'm repeating the dream I remember over and over and over in my mind so I don't forget what it was about.

This is where it gets awesome. I'm lying in bed repeating this dream so I don't forget, feeling wide awake, but suddenly...I'm in a car with an older dude and we hit a jump. We're flying through the air, and I think to myself, "I'm having an out-of-body experience!" I woke up in my dream - or whatever it was! I recently read a book called The Phase, recommended by someone here. I've read enough to get some of the techniques down, including one called "Deepening." To make everything in a "Phase" experience (which includes lucid dreaming as well as astral projection) more "real" the author recommends rubbing your arms and hands vigorously. I did this, and sure enough, everything became more "real" looking. Vivid detail. Then I think to myself, "So this is what the author was talking about when he said the Phase can appear more real than waking life." I was touching everything, feeling how it felt, etc. I also noticed that if I didn't keep this up, everything started to fade-to-black. I would think about making something happen, and surprisingly I felt this took some effort - like I didn't have full creative control of the dream/projection experience. I ate ice cream in an ice cream shop - but that was at the recommendation of the dude I was with, walked around a few bars that had vivid features - stuff on the walls that I studied up close, and even ran into a woman I know IRL (which was in another location after a fade-to-black moment) and asked her if she wanted to get in her swimsuit and go swimming, lol. Eventually one of those fading moments got the best of me, and then I woke up.

It's the weirdest experience, because while it's happening it feels so real, and is extremely exciting. But when you wake up from it, it already starts to fade, and you begin to question just how real it all was...

Regardless, I'm pretty sure it was a lucid dream, or an experience on the astral plane - I don't know which. Very cool.

[Zane]

I've run BIATWS a total of 35 days. It's not that the sub wasn't interesting, it's more like it was a waste of time in the personal development sense. I'm married, what's the point? I'm not going to cheat on my wife, and attention from women then becomes more about my ego.

Wow ur just like me...Instead I have a gf whom I plan to marry in future. Its a done deal.

I wanted to know since u used BIATBWS did u noticed any increased attention from ur wife in that area?

[RTBoss]

I wanted to know since u used BIATBWS did u noticed any increased attention from ur wife in that area?

Yes. I could see it in the way she looked at me, and also could tell that she was more jealous of other women checking me out - like she knew other women were more into me than she'd been used to.

I also felt more accepting of myself as I am, and more attractive. Feeling deep down that I was wanted helped me focus more energy to other areas of my life and felt good.

[RTBoss]

I'm enjoying SR so far, but if EHPRA 2.0 is ready tonight or tomorrow it'll be tempting to switch immediately.

[RTBoss]

Feeling more laid back, menial tasks don't seem to be such a chore. Seem less quick to anger/more patience/less irritability.

Had a dream last night I could barely remember the beginning of, but I suspect it was what I DO remember that's important. I was running from something/someone - but I was wearing a mascot outfit/uniform that was weighing me down. As I ran, I stripped off a piece here and there so that whoever/whatever I was running from wouldn't recognize me and get me. In other words, being & looking like MYSELF is what will keep me safe - not wearing a mask.

[RTBoss]

At the gym today, I found my mind wandering to the women. As usual. I decided I would really analyze my thoughts and the motivations behind them.

I came to the conclusion that I've spent years building up a false sense of confidence. I walk with my head up, I meet people's gaze - or ignore them completely. After all, I have an excuse - my earbuds are in, how could we talk anyway, right?

Being real, I realize there's a thick wall of FAKE that I've built up around myself. I appear hard, but my mind is overrun with thoughts about who's looking, who's not. I started asking myself WHY do I even want/need them to look? And if I was approached, what then? Would it be exciting, or would I be nervous? What would I even do with it? And to let go of the looking, and thinking about who's looking, it feels like I'm losing something. What could I possibly lose? It's confounding. What's wrong with a simple, normal human interaction? Why does it have to be something else?

The only conclusion I can come to is I want to feel needed, wanted, and valued. If I'm feeling that way, I'm not generating that within me, and must feel like I don't get that at home. Essentially, I'm a fake, fear-filled mess. That's hard to admit to yourself.