Thanks, it's good to have the reminder. Cos when I hit resistance I forget these things that I can easily point out in others. That gave me a few thoughts Shannon.
The was resistance is currently presenting itself is that i'm suddenly feeling like I may not really want the goal, like feeling like there isn't any point getting in better shape, improving my martial arts and such. Those are 2 of my main passions really. But all of a sudden this weird feeling of "Do I really want this goal of being masculine?". I mentioned this a few posts ago, but it has increased a bit since then.
Yesterday I wasn't looking forward to training, I couldn't focus on watching a training video before I trained yesterday. But then when I did train it went well and I enjoyed it.
That reminds me of another strange thing that I don't know why it happens, maybe you have more of an idea? Basically I seem to get certain inspirations at night, like later at night or before bed or in bed.. like last night I was really inspired and keen to do my workout straight away before eating in the morning. Then in the morning I wasn't very keen for it, and my warmup too me ages, again the workout went well. I did eat first as I feel weaker when I don't, but atleast I did it before anything else. That is a pattern the inspirations for things at night, then in the morning it's gone.
The other funny thing is that I think a manifestation of this resistance is when you talk about breaking through the inner blockages, right now I can't think of what that would be. So my mind is trying to hide it obviously.
I can only do 10 loops at night, but i'll add 2 extra loops through the day aswell and see.
I'll attempt to not focus on the effects it has on others, though that's kind of been some of the measuring stick in that I wasn't 'feeling' different especially at the start, but i'd notice different reactions from people. But I definately have something internally that represents in me being extra focused on the effects on others, likely stuff from the past again around abandonment, rejection, feeling ignored and invisible.
The was resistance is currently presenting itself is that i'm suddenly feeling like I may not really want the goal, like feeling like there isn't any point getting in better shape, improving my martial arts and such. Those are 2 of my main passions really. But all of a sudden this weird feeling of "Do I really want this goal of being masculine?". I mentioned this a few posts ago, but it has increased a bit since then.
Yesterday I wasn't looking forward to training, I couldn't focus on watching a training video before I trained yesterday. But then when I did train it went well and I enjoyed it.
That reminds me of another strange thing that I don't know why it happens, maybe you have more of an idea? Basically I seem to get certain inspirations at night, like later at night or before bed or in bed.. like last night I was really inspired and keen to do my workout straight away before eating in the morning. Then in the morning I wasn't very keen for it, and my warmup too me ages, again the workout went well. I did eat first as I feel weaker when I don't, but atleast I did it before anything else. That is a pattern the inspirations for things at night, then in the morning it's gone.
The other funny thing is that I think a manifestation of this resistance is when you talk about breaking through the inner blockages, right now I can't think of what that would be. So my mind is trying to hide it obviously.
I can only do 10 loops at night, but i'll add 2 extra loops through the day aswell and see.
I'll attempt to not focus on the effects it has on others, though that's kind of been some of the measuring stick in that I wasn't 'feeling' different especially at the start, but i'd notice different reactions from people. But I definately have something internally that represents in me being extra focused on the effects on others, likely stuff from the past again around abandonment, rejection, feeling ignored and invisible.
