07-30-2017, 05:51 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-30-2017, 05:52 PM by Bookstacks DC737.)
I was reading the rest of a book I had picked up when I got tired. I put my laptop down and rested on my backpack for a good 15 minutes. During that time I had a dream where my mom was telling me that I would never escape the current situation I was in. I was fully present in my body and self so I was able to realize that what she was saying was untrue.
My guess is that the healing is bringing up deeply unconscious beliefs and showing it to me in an attempt to get over these things. It’s in effect rewiring the brain. It’s taking those things that are running from our more primitive, automatic parts and connecting them to our more "adult" parts, so they no longer trigger automatically.
In addition, I’ve noticed that I’ve been seeing a lot of attraction from white women. During my entire DMSI run I only wanted to date black women. It seems my unconscious was actively filtering out women of other races for whatever reason. I’m noticing also an unconscious shift in my dealing with people of other races. Consciously I know I’m the equal of anyone, but unconsciously there were probably scripts running that were telling me I wasn’t.
I’m surprised at how big a role Stereotype Threat has played in the healing of MLS. I wasn’t aware that all my beliefs about my race were so significantly effecting my ability to learn and other areas of my life. One area it's effected is my masculinity. I've seen that a lot of people don't like overly masculine black men, so since my childhood I've done my best to not be the stereotype. The message simply was translated as "don't be masculine. don't be yourself."
As well as getting over race based beliefs I’ve also gained more and more confidence in myself and what I want to study and what I truly believe in, rather than falling into the beliefs of the majority. I’m originally from Africa and when I was young I consciously chose to forget the speaking of my language to better fit in. I can understand it and translate it to English, but I can’t speak it myself. While this clearing has been going on I’ve noticed that I’ve spontaneously been describing things in my mother tongue and I’m beginning to piece things together and relearn the language. I haven’t spoken it in about 16 years.
My guess is that the healing is bringing up deeply unconscious beliefs and showing it to me in an attempt to get over these things. It’s in effect rewiring the brain. It’s taking those things that are running from our more primitive, automatic parts and connecting them to our more "adult" parts, so they no longer trigger automatically.
In addition, I’ve noticed that I’ve been seeing a lot of attraction from white women. During my entire DMSI run I only wanted to date black women. It seems my unconscious was actively filtering out women of other races for whatever reason. I’m noticing also an unconscious shift in my dealing with people of other races. Consciously I know I’m the equal of anyone, but unconsciously there were probably scripts running that were telling me I wasn’t.
I’m surprised at how big a role Stereotype Threat has played in the healing of MLS. I wasn’t aware that all my beliefs about my race were so significantly effecting my ability to learn and other areas of my life. One area it's effected is my masculinity. I've seen that a lot of people don't like overly masculine black men, so since my childhood I've done my best to not be the stereotype. The message simply was translated as "don't be masculine. don't be yourself."
As well as getting over race based beliefs I’ve also gained more and more confidence in myself and what I want to study and what I truly believe in, rather than falling into the beliefs of the majority. I’m originally from Africa and when I was young I consciously chose to forget the speaking of my language to better fit in. I can understand it and translate it to English, but I can’t speak it myself. While this clearing has been going on I’ve noticed that I’ve spontaneously been describing things in my mother tongue and I’m beginning to piece things together and relearn the language. I haven’t spoken it in about 16 years.
