04-02-2012, 01:57 PM
Stage 2 - Day 10,
Teaching Others
Lately, I've had days that when I'm the teacher and instruct people in martial arts I think I feel unsure of myself. Like I should not tell people what to do (because that's arrogant and not cool in my belief) and I think I'm maybe insecure and I don't really look the students in the eyes when I talk. I think it's because I don't feel like I own it.
Actually it has been like that for some time.
But today was different. I was very direct and authoritative. I felt like I deserved it and that I shouldn't be so humble of what I want the students to learn. And this kind of martial arts isn't easy work.
Women
Sometimes I catch women staring at me. It's really fun to notice.
I feel on ease with women I'm with by myself.
There's this girl, who I can NATURALLY touch seductively. It's insane how effortless it is. I think the subliminal has had an effect on that but I also think this girl is just very natural when her attention is on you. (as far as I've witness, she has been seeing a lot of guys).
There's an improvement in sensing, that women want to want me. They just don't feel so sure about me. (part of their own insecurities but probably also because of my vibe, which is silent confidence and sexy, cute, a little smart-ass...)
For example, I sit on a table and have an interaction with a cute girl beside me, she's curious, she's laughing, she's telling me about herself, she's hitting me.. I feel the attraction and then I lower my voice and I tell her to come with me (away from the group) she's not so sure about it (I know she want to but she just don't do it) and I change my attitude to, really? Then I'll go and she didn't meet me away from her friends. And I cut her off.
My thoughts are torn but my feelings tell me it's okay
Like, I'm sure I could be more "going for what I want" in certain situations.. like creating or leading situations where I can get the girl. But my feelings tell me that just go with the flow and don't try so hard to create/lead those situations.
This is very interesting though. Because if I did tried hard to create those situations, I'll either make a fool out of myself or I'll probably get what I want but with collateral damage (friends)...
Teaching Others
Lately, I've had days that when I'm the teacher and instruct people in martial arts I think I feel unsure of myself. Like I should not tell people what to do (because that's arrogant and not cool in my belief) and I think I'm maybe insecure and I don't really look the students in the eyes when I talk. I think it's because I don't feel like I own it.
Actually it has been like that for some time.
But today was different. I was very direct and authoritative. I felt like I deserved it and that I shouldn't be so humble of what I want the students to learn. And this kind of martial arts isn't easy work.
Women
Sometimes I catch women staring at me. It's really fun to notice.
I feel on ease with women I'm with by myself.
There's this girl, who I can NATURALLY touch seductively. It's insane how effortless it is. I think the subliminal has had an effect on that but I also think this girl is just very natural when her attention is on you. (as far as I've witness, she has been seeing a lot of guys).
There's an improvement in sensing, that women want to want me. They just don't feel so sure about me. (part of their own insecurities but probably also because of my vibe, which is silent confidence and sexy, cute, a little smart-ass...)
For example, I sit on a table and have an interaction with a cute girl beside me, she's curious, she's laughing, she's telling me about herself, she's hitting me.. I feel the attraction and then I lower my voice and I tell her to come with me (away from the group) she's not so sure about it (I know she want to but she just don't do it) and I change my attitude to, really? Then I'll go and she didn't meet me away from her friends. And I cut her off.
My thoughts are torn but my feelings tell me it's okay
Like, I'm sure I could be more "going for what I want" in certain situations.. like creating or leading situations where I can get the girl. But my feelings tell me that just go with the flow and don't try so hard to create/lead those situations.
This is very interesting though. Because if I did tried hard to create those situations, I'll either make a fool out of myself or I'll probably get what I want but with collateral damage (friends)...
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
