Life Tune Up 3.1 Journal

[lokko]

Day 31: My life's boring, nothing to report. Either the sub or life is getting to me. This positivity crap is making me feel like I can only express one emotion. My life is going okay, but my soul is telling me I'm lifeless. I guess getting fired hit me cause I was already going through something..which was feeling like I'm living my life passive. I've been through so much, bad times, good times but I think the bad outweighs it..been in trouble with the law too, have to hide it from anyone out of fear cause people/family will think not good of me. I HATE THIS FEELING. I've changed so much. I used to live my life, now I'm living so passive because I don't want to be in trouble anymore or get myself into a mess again. I haven't achieved much in my life when it comes to career or money, and I hate it. Family thinks 23 is old to not be married. I come from a family/culture who all got married early. Around 16-20. They don't understand this country or generation. Oh well. I don't have any friends either, the ones I had are now either doing there own thing or just not really close with them anymore. Everytime me and my old friends hang out, there's a weird vibe and we act so fake with eachother. People changed, and so did I. I haven't had a REAL girlfriend in years now. Only girls who were friends with benefit or one night stand in the past year. I want to finally live my life...feel loved..be successful, surround myself with good people, travel the world..feel alive again.