04-09-2017, 12:50 PM
Something big is clearing through. This would explain why I self-sabotaged through the use of ver. B before its time.
Today, I had one of the first free days in a long time. So I had time to think. I ended up viewing what is commonly called as "my past" at high-velocity - particular aspects of it. Those I do not like. And you know what? All of the things I fucked up, and all the things I do not like about my reality at this time - I caused them: and basically all of the stupid actions I took, or dumb preconceptions I had, sprang from - you guessed it: either fear, guilt or shame. Heh. Woman, sex and career-related.
So yeah, I spent about an hour today musing about it, crying a bit here and there - and whilst in general it was most unpleasant, all the time it was happening I was experiencing the euphoric feeling in my gut, concordant with script execution.
Guess it might be time to change the past and work towards a better future, absent the moronicity of fear, shame and guilt.
So, let's bend some reality (and muse randomly).
Today, I had one of the first free days in a long time. So I had time to think. I ended up viewing what is commonly called as "my past" at high-velocity - particular aspects of it. Those I do not like. And you know what? All of the things I fucked up, and all the things I do not like about my reality at this time - I caused them: and basically all of the stupid actions I took, or dumb preconceptions I had, sprang from - you guessed it: either fear, guilt or shame. Heh. Woman, sex and career-related.
So yeah, I spent about an hour today musing about it, crying a bit here and there - and whilst in general it was most unpleasant, all the time it was happening I was experiencing the euphoric feeling in my gut, concordant with script execution.
Guess it might be time to change the past and work towards a better future, absent the moronicity of fear, shame and guilt.
So, let's bend some reality (and muse randomly).
