06-07-2015, 09:47 PM
Day 15
It almost goes without saying, but these are some seriously powerful audio’s =)
Where I would normally feel down and out, just laying about the entire day because some small event got me down emotionally thus ending up killing my day, I now feel dispassionate and willing to get stuff done. That in itself is amazing. Sort of like a passive reduction to procrastination. I’m not necessarily charged and motivated to do stuff, I just have a little check box in my mind of what to get done and no anxiety about completing it.
I’ve always sort of known that if I could master my emotions and the way I react to stuff things would be soooo much better. And I think that’s what’s happening now.
The fact that I feel calm and dispassionate about most things now is a huge change. It feels like I’ve let go of outcomes in a way that I’m in the flow and just “seeing” what happens. It’s pretty fun. None of this constant worry about what if’s and alternative potential outcomes; I’m just content with how things are whilst also being completely willing to charge ahead. It’s hard to explain the feeling exactly, but I’m really happy about that.
One particular area that I’m very happy about disconnecting and feeling less attached is finding my next partner. My last relationship ended in pretty much disaster - an inch away from getting married *insert horrible stuff happening* then suddenly I’m single and trying to rebuild myself. I’m starting to care far less about finding her, and instead that energy is going into strengthening myself and my businesses. I’ve been waiting for this focus shift for – sheesh – God knows how long (over 2 years to be exact lol).
Also, where I would normally feel relatively down and emotionally out of it, which was pretty much every other day (receive bad news thereby feeling bad) I now have had only two notable emotional trying moments. One was when the cop was outside my house and the other was a needless argument with a family member.
Overall, for two weeks that’s pretty remarkable since it means my emotions and how I react to things is becoming more of something I can actually control now.
The true test was when I had two credit card payment declines having unknowingly attempted to pay from an account I had just closed. Both gave me fines and doubled the payment. When it comes to finances I’m typically completely organized, so when things like this have happened in the past I’ve tended to freak out.
Not this time though. I sort of just shrugged the whole thing off. Took my dog for a walk (which I normally do out of impulse to let off steam) and enjoyed the nice weather outside. No tension, no heavy emotions. Just a nice little walk.
It’s hard to imagine that this is only two weeks into using LTU. At this rate I’m not sure I’m going to recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror when I’ve finished (3 – 6 months from now..?)
It almost goes without saying, but these are some seriously powerful audio’s =)
Where I would normally feel down and out, just laying about the entire day because some small event got me down emotionally thus ending up killing my day, I now feel dispassionate and willing to get stuff done. That in itself is amazing. Sort of like a passive reduction to procrastination. I’m not necessarily charged and motivated to do stuff, I just have a little check box in my mind of what to get done and no anxiety about completing it.
I’ve always sort of known that if I could master my emotions and the way I react to stuff things would be soooo much better. And I think that’s what’s happening now.
The fact that I feel calm and dispassionate about most things now is a huge change. It feels like I’ve let go of outcomes in a way that I’m in the flow and just “seeing” what happens. It’s pretty fun. None of this constant worry about what if’s and alternative potential outcomes; I’m just content with how things are whilst also being completely willing to charge ahead. It’s hard to explain the feeling exactly, but I’m really happy about that.
One particular area that I’m very happy about disconnecting and feeling less attached is finding my next partner. My last relationship ended in pretty much disaster - an inch away from getting married *insert horrible stuff happening* then suddenly I’m single and trying to rebuild myself. I’m starting to care far less about finding her, and instead that energy is going into strengthening myself and my businesses. I’ve been waiting for this focus shift for – sheesh – God knows how long (over 2 years to be exact lol).
Also, where I would normally feel relatively down and emotionally out of it, which was pretty much every other day (receive bad news thereby feeling bad) I now have had only two notable emotional trying moments. One was when the cop was outside my house and the other was a needless argument with a family member.
Overall, for two weeks that’s pretty remarkable since it means my emotions and how I react to things is becoming more of something I can actually control now.
The true test was when I had two credit card payment declines having unknowingly attempted to pay from an account I had just closed. Both gave me fines and doubled the payment. When it comes to finances I’m typically completely organized, so when things like this have happened in the past I’ve tended to freak out.
Not this time though. I sort of just shrugged the whole thing off. Took my dog for a walk (which I normally do out of impulse to let off steam) and enjoyed the nice weather outside. No tension, no heavy emotions. Just a nice little walk.
It’s hard to imagine that this is only two weeks into using LTU. At this rate I’m not sure I’m going to recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror when I’ve finished (3 – 6 months from now..?)
