Day 21
4 loops Hybrid Trickling Stream overnight
Slept much better again last night, during the first loop. Still woke up at the end of the last one but fell back to sleep quickly. Hopefully this will continue! I'm thinking the difficulty sleeping could potentially have been turbulence, as we're now on day 22 since my last day of DMSI, so it could be the P technologies finally wearing off.
I'm enjoying reading novels much more. I'm able to focus on them more, which makes for a far more engrossing and enjoyable reading experience.
I'm realising I had very poor focus throughout my life. I didn't realise this because I always did well academically so I just assumed I was "smart", but a few things are becoming clearer. I could never study or concentrate with the slightest distraction around me. For me to read a book, to study, or even to watch a film with my full concentration, I HAVE to be alone and with no other distractions around. For example, at university, I could never work in the library because I would get too distracted by everything happening around me - I had to shut myself in my room and be alone to get going.
I remember being on a coach ride for a school trip once, and everybody joking around. There was your typical "geeky" kid reading a book on the back of the bus, fully engrossed, with chaos taking place around him. People were laughing at him, including me. Looking back now, I have such respect for his ability to block all that out and 100% focus on his book. It was commendable. I want to go back in time and slap everybody, including myself, who laughed at the poor guy, look him in the eye and tell him "fuck everybody else, what you're doing is impressive".
I wish I had done that, but no, I laughed with everyone else. Laughed at him because he wasn't joining in, because he was different. Poor kid.
Ed: Forgot to mention, I kept fantasising about and often having sex dreams about my female friend while on DMSI. This was the one who broke up with her boyfriend during my 3.1 run. Since stopping, those things have stopped, which makes me think she might have been my LDS, although I wouldn't say she's consciously the most attractive girl I've ever met, I would love to fuck her.
Starting eating pistachios today (Thanks RTB)
4 loops Hybrid Trickling Stream overnight
Slept much better again last night, during the first loop. Still woke up at the end of the last one but fell back to sleep quickly. Hopefully this will continue! I'm thinking the difficulty sleeping could potentially have been turbulence, as we're now on day 22 since my last day of DMSI, so it could be the P technologies finally wearing off.
I'm enjoying reading novels much more. I'm able to focus on them more, which makes for a far more engrossing and enjoyable reading experience.
I'm realising I had very poor focus throughout my life. I didn't realise this because I always did well academically so I just assumed I was "smart", but a few things are becoming clearer. I could never study or concentrate with the slightest distraction around me. For me to read a book, to study, or even to watch a film with my full concentration, I HAVE to be alone and with no other distractions around. For example, at university, I could never work in the library because I would get too distracted by everything happening around me - I had to shut myself in my room and be alone to get going.
I remember being on a coach ride for a school trip once, and everybody joking around. There was your typical "geeky" kid reading a book on the back of the bus, fully engrossed, with chaos taking place around him. People were laughing at him, including me. Looking back now, I have such respect for his ability to block all that out and 100% focus on his book. It was commendable. I want to go back in time and slap everybody, including myself, who laughed at the poor guy, look him in the eye and tell him "fuck everybody else, what you're doing is impressive".
I wish I had done that, but no, I laughed with everyone else. Laughed at him because he wasn't joining in, because he was different. Poor kid.
Ed: Forgot to mention, I kept fantasising about and often having sex dreams about my female friend while on DMSI. This was the one who broke up with her boyfriend during my 3.1 run. Since stopping, those things have stopped, which makes me think she might have been my LDS, although I wouldn't say she's consciously the most attractive girl I've ever met, I would love to fuck her.
Starting eating pistachios today (Thanks RTB)