06-25-2016, 12:04 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2016, 12:14 AM by JackOfHearts.)
Stage 4 Day 25:
I went to a club yesterday. The weather was good again and I wasn't as tired so why not.
It seems females are noticing me again which reminded me of stage 1 and 2. But they seems much more afraid or subtle when they look at me. I didn't see any obvious sign of erratic behavior, tension or something like that but a lot of glance while I'm not supposed to see them.
There was only one girl who reacted more obviously to me. And it was a Chinese woman around 35. I noticed that she was trying to dance with me, when I got back on the dance floor later she jump back near me as fast as she could. And she bumped me with her back while dancing, she try to move as close as she can, touching me with her back, obviously she didn't need to do that.
It's hard to described how I feel on SM3 stage 4. I begin to understand why Dzeemo felt so bad while running it. I had some resistance it seems the last week and just a few days ago my aggressiveness went back. It seems when I resist the sub I behave in the opposite manner, I'm very caring. And when the sub works good I'm very aggressive.
What I noticed the most during the last 2 stage is that I care about me but not as much for others anymore. BS behavior is more obvious and I'm more aggressive about it.
I noticed a lot of men looking at me yesterday. There were some admiration it seems or jealousy. When I was at the bar a woman offered me a beer, saying that a friend offered it to her but she didn't want it. After that the men around were looking at me even more. She caressed me with the back of her elbow before doing that for at least 8 seconds and she didn't seem to be drunk at all. After giving me the beer she went away. I barely acknowledge her, I didn't even look at her straightly, I just said thank you.
I had some fun dancing but the people around wasn't to my taste. It's crazy how women act stupidly in clubs, playing lesbian role. It's like they have to be cold and not look at anyone, they have to be strong, cold, emotionless creature otherwise their friend will blame them (s***t). Attractive thin women in groups are the worst, it feel a bit like men in groups they play a role like they really are enjoying themselves. I begin to realize how a women must feel when she show weakness, she shows that she is attracted, when she goes in the danger territory. Considering all those factor when a woman act it means she is really attracted to you, really badly. I'm always surprised by how much a woman will deny that she is attracted to you.
I didn't stay long that night around 3 hours then I went home. The feeling you get while using SM3 is a though one I would say. I begin to understand why so much people decided to not run it again afterward.
I went to a club yesterday. The weather was good again and I wasn't as tired so why not.
It seems females are noticing me again which reminded me of stage 1 and 2. But they seems much more afraid or subtle when they look at me. I didn't see any obvious sign of erratic behavior, tension or something like that but a lot of glance while I'm not supposed to see them.
There was only one girl who reacted more obviously to me. And it was a Chinese woman around 35. I noticed that she was trying to dance with me, when I got back on the dance floor later she jump back near me as fast as she could. And she bumped me with her back while dancing, she try to move as close as she can, touching me with her back, obviously she didn't need to do that.
It's hard to described how I feel on SM3 stage 4. I begin to understand why Dzeemo felt so bad while running it. I had some resistance it seems the last week and just a few days ago my aggressiveness went back. It seems when I resist the sub I behave in the opposite manner, I'm very caring. And when the sub works good I'm very aggressive.
What I noticed the most during the last 2 stage is that I care about me but not as much for others anymore. BS behavior is more obvious and I'm more aggressive about it.
I noticed a lot of men looking at me yesterday. There were some admiration it seems or jealousy. When I was at the bar a woman offered me a beer, saying that a friend offered it to her but she didn't want it. After that the men around were looking at me even more. She caressed me with the back of her elbow before doing that for at least 8 seconds and she didn't seem to be drunk at all. After giving me the beer she went away. I barely acknowledge her, I didn't even look at her straightly, I just said thank you.
I had some fun dancing but the people around wasn't to my taste. It's crazy how women act stupidly in clubs, playing lesbian role. It's like they have to be cold and not look at anyone, they have to be strong, cold, emotionless creature otherwise their friend will blame them (s***t). Attractive thin women in groups are the worst, it feel a bit like men in groups they play a role like they really are enjoying themselves. I begin to realize how a women must feel when she show weakness, she shows that she is attracted, when she goes in the danger territory. Considering all those factor when a woman act it means she is really attracted to you, really badly. I'm always surprised by how much a woman will deny that she is attracted to you.
I didn't stay long that night around 3 hours then I went home. The feeling you get while using SM3 is a though one I would say. I begin to understand why so much people decided to not run it again afterward.
