Kick Fear in the Junk! - Overcoming Fear 5.75G

[RTBoss]

Tonight is supposed to be the 3rd night off to finish the 4th Cycle. I've had thoughts of only having 2 SASRB days for the past 36 hours, so I'm going to go ahead and start my 5th Cycle tonight. Not nearly as exhausted as previous cycles at this point. I will also be switching back to higher volume ultrasonic on my phone.

[RTBoss]

Started ultrasonic loops for Cycle 5 last night, 13/15 volume.

Fell asleep fast , felt great.  Had positive dreams.  Woke up tired AF, wife at work, couldn't sleep in.

Looked at my phone, Neutron Playlist stopped in the middle of the second loop.  WTF? 

So, started where it left off this morning. This MF'er stopped so many times over the loops it took until 3 PM to finish.  Frustrating.

I uninstalled and reinstalled the app, restarted my phone, and we'll see what happens tonight. 

Funny story, took the kids to mom and dad's to swim today.  My parents were exposed to OF.  After we left, I get a video from my mom of my dad doing cannonballs off the diving board. He's a terrible swimmer, and isn't very confident in the water.  It's one of the reasons he made sure his kids got swimming lessons until proficiency.  Anyway, couldn't help but wonder if it was OF at work.

[Shannon]

Based on what I've heard so far, it would seem likely.

[RTBoss]

Had a very positive dream last night.  I was skiing the most difficult, steep terrain with expert ability, no fear, having fun going super fast.  I was using the best skis with the latest advancements, which allowed me to overcome any obstacle with ease.  I also rode in a gondola that was so fast I was able to get back to the top of the mountain to ski down again and again in record time.

[tolgaocal80]

great dream, definitely about OF

[RTBoss]

I forgot to mention that uninstalling and reinstalling Neutron Player fixed my playlist playback issue.  

Update on my wife from this morning.

She said she woke up in the middle of the night with a headache.  She didn't take anything for it, fell back asleep, and then woke up with a headache.  She took some Tylenol, and it went away.  However, she also mentioned that she awoke with a low-level irritability that she "couldn't shake."  I asked her 15 minutes ago if she was feeling better, but she said she still felt very "annoyed."

[Shannon]

Well the good news is, since "subliminals don't work", it wasn't the program or her response to it! lol

[RTBoss]

Well the good news is, since "subliminals don't work", it wasn't the program or her response to it!  lol

Lol, right!?

For those of you reading, Shannon is very familiar with my wife and her resistance to his subs - including the belief that "subliminals don't work," - so that's what he's referring to, here.

Can't wait to see how LTU6 affects her!

[RTBoss]

Last night was Night 6 of Cycle 5, after only 2 SASRB days between Cycle 4 & 5.

I made sure the playlist was still playing before falling asleep last night.  Woke up to find it stopped in the middle of Loop 3 - so the problem I was having before has reappeared.  WTF.  

I restarted the playlist about 30 minutes ago.  After finishing, I'll take another 2 days off.

Exhaustion has been much less this cycle, as it has been for others.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night drenched in a cold sweat.  I didn't have any dreams (that I can remember) that seemed stressful or bad.  But, for some reason, I was covered in so much sweat I had to wipe it off to get back to sleep.

Had a dream I was in a scavenger hunt competition.  When you found whatever it was we were all looking for, you signed a piece of paper and you got a "section of the kingdom."  Kind of weird.  Anyway, a bunch of people gave me assistance, because they wanted me to win.  By the time the dream ended, I found 2 or 3 pieces out of 6 - so I was winning.  

Had a baseball dream the other night where I was pitching and struck out...a Captain of a crab fishing boat from Deadliest Catch.  Whatever that was about.  I rarely watch baseball, and arguably it's my least favorite sport.  I do have great respect and admiration for the Captain I struck out, however.

Been much calmer in my day-to-day interactions in all things.  At times I feel lazy, like I don't care about much, but other times it's like I'm on automatic pilot doing chores, running errands, or anything else that is helpful around the house that takes pressure off of my wife.  Much more patient and understanding with the kids, and that's only becoming better and better.

[RTBoss]

Approaching the end of the second SASRB day...and a headache is starting to play around my sinus area. Breathing fine, and I don't get headaches - unless I'm hungover or fighting a sub. I'm not hungover.

[ncbeareatingman]

Approaching the end of the second SASRB day...and a headache is starting to play around my sinus area.  Breathing fine, and I don't get headaches - unless I'm hungover or fighting a sub.  I'm not hungover.

Axis:Bold as Love... courageous one!!

[RTBoss]

Started Cycle 6. I had an overwhelming urge to "JUST DO IT!" So, I did. 1 day SASRB beteeen 5 & 6.

Same setup.  US Flac, Galaxy S9 stereo speakers, Neutron Player (no issues last night w/ playlist), 13/15 volume.

[RTBoss]

Oof, fully caffeinated and starting to bonk early afternoon.

[RTBoss]

Tonight is my last night of Cycle 6, and likely of using OF 5.75G.  As I purchased LTU6, I plan on switching to that once it's released, and I don't see myself starting a 7th Cycle of OF.

Dreams are the most markedly noticeable effect of using this sub - mostly because the changes being made and felt are so natural.  For example, I'll be driving and someone does something stupid.  Instead of feeling fear and reacting with adrenaline and a swath of cursing, I just react to keep my vehicle, myself, and my occupants safe.  I still swear, lol, but it's more like, "You effin' idiot," and then laugh.  No fear, no adrenaline, nada.  Just calm focus and action.

Dream-wise, I'm all over the map.  Two nights in a row I've woken absolutely soaked in sweat.  Not sure what dreams that was linked to.

I've had a dream where my upper right arm was sliced open, sans blood, and I could see my bone.  In the bone, I had inserted two screws, which I was frantically tightening.  I then went to my parents, crying hysterically.  My dad chided me and yelled, while my mom was empathetic.  So I told my dad I didn't want his help, because he lacked compassion.  My mom took me to a hospital, where a plastic surgeon sewed me up.  The surgeon did such a great job I didn't have any scar - it was like my arm was never cut open.  Still working on the symbolism of it all.

In another dream, a man - dark skin tone, speaking another language (possibly Spanish) - was yelling and had a shotgun.  He stuck it in his mouth, and while looking at me, blew his head off.  The brain matter and blood covered my face.  

Then I'll have dreams where I'm vacationing at luxury resorts in Hawaii and partaking in all kinds of fun activities.  I eat with family and friends at fine restaurants, and eat expensive food.  Next thing I know, I'll be at some sort of amusement park, driving crazy cars on the weirdest tracks and/or obstacle courses.  That dream transitioned to a futuristic dream where I was playing some sort of VR mech game, where I'm pretty sure I was the transformer Optimus Prime. I was kickin' ass. When I was done, my mom was lounging on a couch, drink in hand, and asked me, "Whatcha playin'?" with genuine interest.

The last dream I can remember, my wife and I were at a party.  There, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law joined a group of people at a table to play a game.  They acted like they didn't know we were there.  Feeling ignored, I turned to my wife and said, "I'm ready to go, now."

I really look forward to bed each night, because the dreams are so entertaining and symbolic.  Looking forward to tonight.

Hope everyone is growing, doing well, and staying healthy.