In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A

[Benjamin]

Yep.. and alot of them get by on that.

It's even worse when they write stuff celebrating being a bitch and being proud of it and other horrible things. Or have the personality of a terd. I dunno maybe some terds would be more fun to talk to.

[mat422]

Yep.. and alot of them get by on that.

It's even worse when they write stuff celebrating being a bitch and being proud of it and other horrible things. Or have the personality of a terd. I dunno maybe some terds would be more fun to talk to.

Lol. At least a terd wouldn't give you drama. But yeah, it's disappointing to say the least.

[mat422]

I need to be more grateful for what I have. Being grateful doesn't mean I have to settle or accept life as "good enough". It just means I take the time to appreciate what I do have on my search for greater things. I've been in such a low mood these past few days because my new job has taken me away from my music. But I got irrationally angry and upset and just dug into everything that sucks instead of taking the time to be grateful I have a full time job now and I'm gaining experience. Life could be a hell of a lot worse for me than it is now and I'm only making myself more miserable by constantly ruminating on the negative.

I guess there's a part of me that fears being happy, as ridiculous as that sounds. I worry that if I'm happy and content I'll start slacking and stop pushing for my goals. But then that raises the question. What's fueling these goals? A desire to reach them? Or insecurities I still hold onto? What am I looking to gain by attaining these things? Happiness I guess, but that seems like a trap in a way. If I can't be happy with what I have right now, how can I ever be happy with what I have in the future?

It's funny as the more I heal and clear the real motivations show themselves and as those dissolve it leaves this blank feeling of "what the hell do I do now?" It's so ingrained in my head that I have to be or do more than what's normal. I can't tell if that's my desire or my way of compensating for the fact I have low self worth and feel like I need to prove something to the world.

But definitely going to be practicing more gratitude from now on.

Also relevant track.

[mat422]

I have a strong feeling of wanting to isolate myself from people and shut myself out from the world. Don't know if these ideas I've had in my head lately are good or bad anymore. What's resistance, avoidance, I don't even know anymore. Just gonna keep going and hope for the best.

[DarkPlouf]

I have a strong feeling of wanting to isolate myself from people and shut myself out from the world. Don't know if these ideas I've had in my head lately are good or bad anymore. What's resistance, avoidance, I don't even know anymore. Just gonna keep going and hope for the best.

Mat you're not alone, I have exactly the same feeling. And just like you I'm wondering if this is good or not...
I removed all social apps from my phone a while ago.

[SargeMaximus]

I have a strong feeling of wanting to isolate myself from people and shut myself out from the world. Don't know if these ideas I've had in my head lately are good or bad anymore. What's resistance, avoidance, I don't even know anymore. Just gonna keep going and hope for the best.

I feel you man. Me too.

[DarkPlouf]

INFPs again .

[mat422]

Thanks guys. Yeah I ditched all the dating apps on my phone too. I'm thinking there might be a bit of learned helplessness going on here. Feels like everything I do just has me running in circles

[Kol]

been there aswell, going dark 0n facebook and not wanting to do anything. eventually it swung over, like, from an "need"to an "wanting impulse to go to" guess DMSI is helping you evolve in re-engaging evantually from an more "healthier"(?) standpoint.

[mat422]

been there aswell, going dark 0n facebook and not wanting to do anything. eventually it swung over, like, from an "need"to an "wanting impulse to go to" guess DMSI is helping you evolve in re-engaging evantually from an more "healthier"(?) standpoint.

Sounds about right. It just gets crazy confusing at times.

---

Forgot to mention I went to a bonfire the other night and there was this girl there who I sort of knew. I went to middle school with her and I'd seen her a few other times when we had these bonfires last summer I think. Anyway I used to have a crush on this girl. Without dragging this out, it's rather uneventful. She went swimming in the lake in her underwear with a few other people. I just stayed back and tended to the fire. She tells me not to be alarmed because she's coming over in her underwear and I'm like that's cool. Keeps asking me if it's ok and if I'm uncomfortable. I'm like no really it's fine. Then she asks about what I've been up to, how's life going sort of questions. Also noticed when she sat she would either have a foot pointing at me or have her torso facing me. But nothing happened because even as I write this now I'm still hesitant to assume there was any attraction there or interest. The fact that she thought I'd be uncomfortable with a half naked incredibly attractive women was weird. The only thing I can think of is I'm giving off some heavily incongruent vibes.

This is what DMSI needs to hit the most for me. Not just getting women to show interest, but me getting more aligned that the interest they direct towards me is legit. I'm like 90% certain right now I'm noticing the signals and see the attraction from some women, but due to fear or something else I find ways to write them off as coincidence or imagination. So it's not being oblivious or blind to this stuff. I fucking suck at this.

[RTBoss]

I think if you run DMSI long enough, your beliefs about yourself will change. Hopefully you'll begin to gain enough confidence that you'll feel comfortable saying, "Actually, the less you wear the more comfortable I am." You can say that a little lighthearted, throw her a wink and a sly smile. The worst that would happen is a giggle, and at best she might get nekkid and let the games begin!

[mat422]

I think if you run DMSI long enough, your beliefs about yourself will change. Hopefully you'll begin to gain enough confidence that you'll feel comfortable saying, "Actually, the less you wear the more comfortable I am." You can say that a little lighthearted, throw her a wink and a sly smile. The worst that would happen is a giggle, and at best she might get nekkid and let the games begin!

That's the gameplan. At least now I'm kind of embarrassed I can't do a lot of that. Just shows I'm willing to grow and improve myself in that area more. Whereas before I just outright refused to care about it. Still didn't change the fact that I was terrible at it.

[DarkPlouf]

The fact that she thought I'd be uncomfortable with a half naked incredibly attractive women was weird. The only thing I can think of is I'm giving off some heavily incongruent vibes.

I get you. The first time I approached a girl she was shocked because she thought I was a sort of saint or something...

This is what DMSI needs to hit the most for me. Not just getting women to show interest, but me getting more aligned that the interest they direct towards me is legit. I'm like 90% certain right now I'm noticing the signals and see the attraction from some women, but due to fear or something else I find ways to write them off as coincidence or imagination. So it's not being oblivious or blind to this stuff. I ***** suck at this.

I can relate. And I agree with you. That's why I think DMSI has to work deeper on the user because he's the one likely to fuck up the attraction, as you just did.
If I'm not mistaken you did run AM, right ? How did it affect you in that regard ? Because I fucking suck at this too and it's a pain in the ass.

[mat422]

All my life people assume I'm this super innocent pure person. I don't know what I'm doing, but yeah I know what you mean.

AM helped. But to be honest I didn't notice anything huge from it. At this point it's too much of a time investment to run again when DMSI seems to get me to grow a lot faster. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a waste of time, but I didn't really get the amazing results some other guys get.