Ike's AM 5.0 Journey

[brightike]

AM 5.0 Stage 4 - Day 1, 10-12 hrs

Holy fricking dream about all the hot girls in my life, but in my dream it was like I didn't have to attract them or anything. They were just THERE. I asked,they came (pun intended). I'm so excited about the results of AM 5.0. Glad I bit the bullet and sucked it up and started paying my way.

Last night was a little crappy. I was a little antisocial and when I looked in a mirror I was passing, I was thinking "whoa, hostile, crazy dude for sure". I guess a more accurate description would be... More intense than usual. This is a little freaky because if you talk to all my friends and people that meet me that is usually the first few words I hear used to describe me.

[brightike]

AM 5.0 Stage 4 - Day 3, 10-12 hrs

Woke up beating the crap out of myself mentally this morning. I started Tapping in my dreams which is kind of weird. A lot of conflict and fighting in my dreams. There was a fair bit of resistance in my 1st stage as well, so this might be more of this. I think that the only reason that I haven't tried to slip OGSF in on the side is that I committed to doing this without. I haven't had a whole lot of success in the past with managing my GSF. I have typically succumbed to it.

I think that going without will be a little difficult, but I pushed through Stage one without, so I think that I should be able to do it. I'm tapping away the crap that comes up. I think the biggest thing that comes up is that I have very little motivation to get back into my skilled trade. I'm great with people and what I used to do has not one thing to do with people.... "Get back in the shop peon and turn some pieces". Buuuuutttt... there is a crap ton of money in it. What I'm doing right now.. lots of people. Maybe big money in the long run (I've been there 7 wks and they want to make me a shift leader). Right now though, going backward every month. I've slowed it down to a trickle. Why am I not motivated to get something high paying... wth. Just needed to rant.

Ike

[brightike]

Stage 4 day 5, 9-11 hrs/ day

Bagged today. Really gotta get to bed before midnight. Sun/loudness of sub woke me this morning at 530am. Went for a date yesterday with a girl that I didn't think I'd be able to get a date with two months ago. She was shocked when I asked her. Apparently I'm atypical to the guys that usually ask her out, she kept trying to validate herself and goodness was she ever ansy. The has been a lot of owning up to stuff the last couple of day. Kinda felt like crap at first, but Now I'm happy that I've gone through all that. Looking forward to the stablizing feeling that has come a week and a bit into every stage. When your body is not peaked out from the changes made by the sub and your energy starts to level out. I've found that first week is an endurance trial and you just have to push through. I'm kinda scared about AM6.0 if it's going to use more energy than this then I have to really expand my reserves. ANNNNNNDDDD should eat more food and compensate for the calorie loss. Have a great Thursday!

[brightike]

Stage 4 Day 6 - 9-11hrs/day

So today. Women don't have faces, Crotches.... But not faces. Its the first place I look when I see them. I woke up this morning to three consecutive dreams about people I haven't thought of in a long while. Tired again and still only 1:30 in the afternoon. Some neg self talk today, but it's fleeting. Hope this is a last ditch effort by my subconscious to resist. We'll see with time. Have a great Friday and an awesome weekend!

[brightike]

Stages 4 Day 14 - 9.33 hrs/day

So in the last 8 days I've had lots of zombie/family attacking me/work conflict nightmares. I have had to be very active in managing my energy levels and expenditure during the day, so I don't wipe myself out. Days of lows and highs, beating myself up, but all in all love myself and know I'm valuable. Someone told me that I'm incredible at state control and that I was two different people when they met me. I took that as an incredible compliment. Moving forward in a huge way. Have an awesome day!

Ike

[brightike]

Stage 4 Day 19 - 10.6

I wasn't feeling the effects of the stage like I was before, so I kicked it back up to the high side of my range and that seems to be more effective. Recognizing quite a few behaviour changes that are making me higher status and that a high percentage of women in my life are seeking validation from me or vying for my time and attention. Random girls in coffee shops are staring and looking at me until I look at them. It's very entertaining actually. Noticing that I'm starting to desire to talk to people more. Need to get more practise with developing friendships. More soon.

[brightike]

I'm just leaving work and I'm heartbeats away from snapping. I worked a three hour second to close shift and I made 13$ in tips (I make about 60-90 on avg in this time).

Question for Shannon - is fury associated with being screwed over common for stage 4? Like fury that I haven't felt since I was a child and swung every single time I was angry.

[Fonzy3]

Wow stage four already. It sounds like the results you are noticing in regards to your image and thoughts are evident that you have "grown" over the past few months. Glad to hear about your success and looking forward to read more about your journey with subliminals.

Thanks

Fonzy

[brightike]

Fonzy - Totally, on the 23 of Nov last year I was told by someone whose opinion I trust and value that I NEED to figure out how to be alone and on my own. When I was alone it was dark. The things I would say to myself were flat out heinous. I can imagine saying them to my worst enemy, but only if he/she kicked my cat and destroyed my family. I love myself now and am grateful that Shannon took his path to create all the amazing subs that he has. You'll hear lots more out of me. I just gotta budget a internet connection back in for home so I'm not using an Ipad mini to type in the forum.

[brightike]

Stage 4, Day 21

So I must be honest, after my commitment to not use any other subs I crumpled and started using AM 9.33 hours/ US 6.5 hours. So that was about 11 day ago, but I got really neggy and I was worried that I couldn't handle it, then I realized that I'm making a ton of money as a server. Based on this selling myself short mentality I'm getting a little bit confused about where I should go next. AM6.0/WM/LTU/ASC. I don't care about the money, but discounted for AM6.0 Woop, woop. Not sure if this is fear based, not letting go of the past, lack of self esteem, etc. Any insight from the senior members or Shannon would be greatly valued and appreciated.

[JackOfHearts]

I would say the same old thing: finish what you started first, enjoy the now, enjoy your result. And then after you know who you have become, you can think about what you need/want most to get even better.
You are on the last 3 stage of AM: it's the best part, the more enjoyable.
Even if I say that, I sometimes do the opposite, it's hard to reprogram yourself and focus on your life

[Fonzy3]

Nothing wrong with using those two subs together Ike! Just do yourself a favour and make sure you get the most out of the next few months. Sub exposure as many hours as possible and follow up on opportunities as much as possible. I'm currently using US and getting results in all areas of my life especially what I'm involved in. Put your focus/effort in being the best Alpha you can be and you will find success in that.

Love to hear about yor growth and progress especially success stories of knowing how to be alone, fulfilled and your own best friend. You got this.

Thanks

Fonzy

[brightike]

Well Fonzy, In Oct-Nov 2013 I was lost thinking that the “things” that I had were what defined me. I drove a 2010 Jetta off the lot with 6.8 miles and wrote it off in Oct 2013 w/ 54,680 miles. I support stupid strong and successful marriages, but in a moment of weakness I messed around with a married gal who then divorced 2 weeks later. Last but not least I had a very high paying/ status job where I live which I was fired from because I was so arrogant in my abilities that I was coasting, so when I got thrown under the bus I had no reputation or positive recent work history to protect me. I couldn’t handle being alone and jumped from girl to girl or relationship to relationship I should say. I wouldn’t go home until about 1230 am every single day. I believe that this had to do with me not being ok with sitting around on my own and maybe a modicum of fear of what I would say to myself.

I was so negative about getting back into my job that, I believe it was through the laws of attraction that I repelled any opportunity to get back into it. I didn’t work/pull unemployment, etc. for 3 months. At month 2 I started AM 5. Within a short amount of time….. Whoa… Just read some of my early journals (pre-march) and I do not connect with them at all. Vaguely remember writing them. Just do not identify with a lot of the weakness, neediness and angst in them.

So… being alone, my own best friend and all that jazz. I enjoy being around others and yet when I’m by myself I’m perfectly content and don’t feel the need to have someone else validate me with their presence or conversation. I can just sit in silence and think without getting anxious anything (used to freak me out after 30 sec) I talk to who I like, but socially I realize I have had very limited emotional intelligence in the past, so I’m working on that right now. I talk a lot more positively now then I used to. My self-talk is often times more constructive than destructive. I know I got this and for the first time in my life it’s cold 100% confidence vs. thanks for your faith and now I believe in me. It’s so incredible! Shannon is definitely a master at his craft.

If there is something more specific that you want to hear about Fonzy then let me know.
Ike

[brightike]

As I'm reading journals I notice that there are a lot of people that have trouble with sleeping and headphones and such. I use Bob Marley earbuds whilst I sleep and I have no problem when I move or roll or anything because I chose the size that is in my ear like a freaking suction cup. I have been using this style since I started in Dec/Jan. It's all about training and habits. I'm sure this helps someone.