I AM the SEX, the MONEY and the POWER (DMSI v2.4)

[chaosvrgn]

Still on phone, will make it quick.

Lots of anger, fear and frustration surfacing. I can feel that mechanism to prevent feeling the resistance kicking in, but it's not strong enough to totally surpress it, as it has in the past. Even though I feel like crap right now (this is the third type of resistance I experience -- panic), I know that it's digging away at something real deep, something that must terrify my subconscious.

I'm feeling the urge to totally resist the new identity that's forming and start outright hating women again, but I'm willing to fight it, give this new me a try, since the old one wasn't working.

PS -- it should be law that every man read Sick's post on being a man. Good work on that, one of the best posts I've read in awhile.

[DisneylandUSA]

Still on phone, will make it quick.

Lots of anger, fear and frustration surfacing. I can feel that mechanism to prevent feeling the resistance kicking in, butn it's not string enough to totally suroress it, as it has in the past. Even though I feel like crap right now (this is the third type of resistance I experience -- panic) I know that it's digging away at something real deep, something that must terrify my subconscious.

I'm feeling the urge to totally resist the new identity that's forming and start outright hating women again, bit I'm willing to fight it, give this new me a try, since the old one wasn't working.

PS -- it should be law that every man read Sick's post on being a man. Good work on that, one of the best posts I've read in awhile.

Hang in there. That's similar emotions and hardcore feelings that I had encountered on AM6; Eat healthy and Drink fluids with exercise; it may help

[chaosvrgn]

I feel the same thing to the point that I seriously consider switching to ASC.

Don't switch. Whatever your subconscious is terrified of has been holding you back for a long time.

P.S. I'm writing this to also remind myself not to quit.

Also, experiencing a hard time constructing sentences and putting together coherent thoughts. Must be a side effect of the resistance.

[Duke.Togo]

I feel the same thing to the point that I seriously consider switching to ASC.

Don't switch. Whatever your subconscious is terrified of has been holding you back for a long time.

P.S. I'm writing this to also remind myself not to quit.

Also, experiencing a hard time constructing sentences and putting together coherent thoughts. Must be a side effect of the resistance.

I had the same problem yesterday at work. I just gave up trying to make sense of things.

Today has been better.

It'll be interesting to see where we are on Day 21.

[chaosvrgn]

v2.4 is pushing me away from caffeine. This began in v2.3 and it's went into overdrive since v2.4. Like, I've gone from drinking two Red Bulls (plus caffeine pills) a day, down to NOTHING outside of what you'd get from a can of Coke.

And today, ran to the store to get a cold drink and I opted for caffeine-free Ginger Ale. Didn't even realize what I had done until later.

Curious to know why, seems like the healing modules or OE or something is pushing caffeine away. Does caffeine stunt sexual performance or something?

[JackOfHearts]

4 most used drugs in the world to me:
-cigarette
-alcohol
-cafeine
-sugar(maybe unrefined sugar is not)


Cafeine probably eat your energy reserve that you need for the sub.

[chaosvrgn]

Still experiencing hard resistance. Very rough feeling. Feel like a total loser, like no woman would ever love me. Just wanna hide in the house.

Might've ruined things with #3. Had a few cups of wine and made the really ridiculous decision to let the girl I hooked up with text her from my phone. She claimed she was gonna show me real romance as opposed to my "player game." Her alleged real romance equated to some really beta crap and now #3 stopped responding. Quite irritated about that, but I'll get over it. My Tinder and OkCupid are full of replacements, but I have no motivation to pursue.

EDIT: On second thought, I believe she intentionally sabotaged me. After we hooked up, we had the post-morning talk where we agreed to "just be friends," which I went along with because I have no intention of ever dating her.

Drastic change from the first week of v2.4. I know it's resistance and it'll pass. Getting the urge to change subs, which happens every time I feel this way.

[chaosvrgn]

Getting angrier. Feeling self-destructive.

It's this kinda crap that instilled such a disdain for women in the first place. Pull the friendzone card and then proceed to sabotage the first budding, real relationship I've had in years? I swear, it's like women believe that you shouldn't have sex or intimacy with ANYONE if they don't want or can't have you. Because being real, her whole "let's just be friends" crap was an attempt at "reject me before I reject her" because she knows I'd never date her -- I've said that plenty of times before.

In the past, I would've confronted her at this point. Now, it seems pointless. She'll just deny and try to flip the blame back onto me, which would result in me going into "dagger throwing mode," where I'll say whatever I can to completely eviscerate their ego. So, if one good thing has come out of this situation, it's that I'm mature enough to just walk away and not waste my time rather than blow it up even more.

[Sickologist]

I made that mistake before too, listening to women giving advice on how to get women. It's a load of crap, but sometimes it still worked. A girl once texted to another girl who approached me, "I've been dying to see you, love" from my phone. How stupid is that? I ended up being questioned for a relationship after trying to bang her, pretty logical.

In other news, I tried your phero blend today. Dope ass stuff, dude. Very clean effects and clean, fresh scent. Felt lifted and focused right upon application. The harder I worked out, the more in the zone I became, had a massive surge of focus and endurance about 40 mins in. And it's painkilling too like you said, have legit skin-tearing pumps in my chest and triceps over here. The more I smelled my wrists, the more I felt the effects.

I saw this video a long time ago; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTcLHNPcL2w but now I saw it again. I'm gonna try that low dose next weekend before a workout and some boxing, 1-1,5 grams to see what happens. My ancestors used those doses and invaded all of Europe. Every day was like 300 to them. We'll see how that goes and how it compares. Pheros are sometimes psychoactive and psychedelic. At least I experienced that today, went on a short run afterwards, listening to chill songs. Felt awesome, body was light as a feather.

[JJ54]

Getting angrier. Feeling self-destructive.

It's this kinda crap that instilled such a disdain for women in the first place. Pull the friendzone card and then proceed to sabotage the first budding, real relationship I've had in years? I swear, it's like women believe that you shouldn't have sex or intimacy with ANYONE if they don't want or can't have you. Because being real, her whole "let's just be friends" crap was an attempt at "reject me before I reject her" because she knows I'd never date her -- I've said that plenty of times before.

In the past, I would've confronted her at this point. Now, it seems pointless. She'll just deny and try to flip the blame back onto me, which would result in me going into "dagger throwing mode," where I'll say whatever I can to completely eviscerate their ego. So, if one good thing has come out of this situation, it's that I'm mature enough to just walk away and not waste my time rather than blow it up even more.

Yea, I always hated the friend zone since my first am6 run. Nothing good ever comes out of it. That's why you're better off just walking away from it as soon as the "lets just be friends" talk comes up. And like you said, they hate to see you with other women because you're not supposed to have a backbone lol. And what makes it funny, they suddenly now have feelings for you after you reject their friendship proposal. That's why there's no such thing as the friend zone. If a man is in it, it's because he put himself there.

[SargeMaximus]

Still can't figure out why you gave the girl your phone to text #3. Sounds like self-sabotage to me...

[chaosvrgn]

Still can't figure out why you gave the girl your phone to text #3. Sounds like self-sabotage to me...

In retrospect, I'm inclined to agree with you.

It's crazy how it doesn't seem that way in the moment, because the little game were were playing directly led to me hooking up with the chick (we'll call her "L") in the first place. She was getting really turned on by how many online matches I had and how I was getting all their numbers and setting dates, but made the suggestion that those "tactics" would only led to superficial sexual relationships and not true intimacy -- which I'm interested in exploring.

L sold a good game too. The beginning of the conversation was working well. #3 seemed to be hanging off "my" (L's) every word, telling me how jealous she was that I was traveling and how she couldn't wait to see me. It was the day AFTER the concert, after L and I hooked up that she took it to the next level and went beta.

I'm not sure what L's game was. To me, it seemed like we were having a great time at the concert -- was dancing like crazy, plus I knew all the lyrics to all the songs and was rapping my ass off. L (and a bunch of the other chicks) found that extremely attractive and was literally abandoning their men to come dance with me and my friend. Had my hands all over her the entire time. She even put on her old engagement ring (which she broke off earlier this year) and was telling women that tried to approach me that she was my wife. After the concert, we just went back to my hotel, walked into the room and just started kissing. No shit tests, no arguments, none of that antagonistic shit that sometimes happens before sex.

Next morning, she asked what I thought of what happened the night before. I said, "two people had a great time at a concert and that fun spilled over into the bedroom." She giggled, said that she did have a lot of fun and didn't want to look too far into what happened. I was like, "cool with me -- no reason why two consenting adults can't go out for a night on the town and enjoy it." She really seemed to like that answer and I really meant my words. I thought everything was cool. Later that day, we went to grab some food. She asked if I heard from #3. I said yea, but hadn't responded yet. She asked for my phone. At this point, I PROMISE, I had the CRAZIEST feeling of resistance, like I shouldn't hand the phone over. I even wondered if that was the autopilot warning me or something. But, I ignored it since everything SEEMED cool, y'know.

Later that night, I looked at the messages she sent and straight up cringed. Like, wtf. I mean, I guess they weren't THAT bad, but it's not something you really send to someone you've only hung out with three times and chatted via text.

I did end up semi-confronting L, but not in a needy way. Just said #3 hadn't responded. She claims that the message is great -- she blames the fact that I waited like, 8 hours to respond. The reason I did, however, was because #3 texted me at like 1:30a to ask how I was doing. I generally don't chat via text that late at night.

Anyway, it's a bunch of craziness and I've learned my lesson. Gotta trust my instincts more in the future.

There is the possibility that #3 hasn't seen the message. SMALL possibility. Her phone is messed up (she showed this to me on a date) and for some reason, she doesn't get text notifications. She only knows when you've texted her when she consciously looks for your name. Since I waited so long to message her, it IS possible that she stopped looking and hasn't looked again. Possible, but unlikely.

[SargeMaximus]

Still can't figure out why you gave the girl your phone to text #3. Sounds like self-sabotage to me...

In retrospect, I'm inclined to agree with you.

It's crazy how it doesn't seem that way in the moment, because the little game were were playing directly led to me hooking up with the chick (we'll call her "L") in the first place. She was getting really turned on by how many online matches I had and how I was getting all their numbers and setting dates, but made the suggestion that those "tactics" would only led to superficial sexual relationships and not true intimacy -- which I'm interested in exploring.

Ah, she exploited your naivete, not much defense against that. Happens to me all the time I'm sure.

L sold a good game too. The beginning of the conversation was working well. #3 seemed to be hanging off "my" (the chick's) every word, telling me how jealous she was that I was traveling and how she couldn't wait to see me. It was the day AFTER the concert, after we hooked up that she took it to the next level and went beta.

I'm not sure what my L's game was. To me, it seemed like we were having a great time at the concert -- was dancing like crazy, plus I knew all the lyrics to all the songs and was rapping my ass off. L (and a bunch of the other chicks) found that extremely attractive and was literally abandoning their men to come dance with me and my friend. Had my hands all over her the entire time. She even put on her old engagement ring (which she broke off earlier this year) and was telling women that tried to approach me that she was my wife.

IMO, that was the red flag. She was getting possessive and trying to ward off other women. I know it must have been impossible to tell at the time, but reading it right now and knowing what happened, I'd say this was a good indicator.

After the concert, we just went back to my hotel, walked into the room and just started kissing. No shit tests, no arguments, none of that antagonistic shit that sometimes happens before sex.

You must tell me more about the "antagonistic shit that sometimes happens before sex". I get the feeling this happens to me all the time but I always back off.

Next morning, she asked what I thought of what happened the night before. I said, "two people had a great time at a concert and that fun spilled over into the bedroom." She giggled, said that she did have a lot of fun and didn't want to look too far into what happened. I was like, "cool with me -- no reason why two consenting adults can't go out for a night on the town and enjoy it." She really seemed to like that answer and I really meant my words. I thought everything was cool. Later that day, we went to grab some food. She asked if I heard from #3. I said yea, but hadn't responded yet. She asked for my phone. At this point, I PROMISE, I had the CRAZIEST feeling of resistance, like I shouldn't hand the phone over. I even wondered if that was the autopilot warning me or something. But, I ignored it since everything SEEMED cool, y'know.

Yeah I get you. I've had the same thing in sales. I feel certain vibes and sometimes I decide to listen, but other times I think to myself "well, those feelings are just insecurity (or some other thing that makes them invalid) so I should go ahead with it." It's really hard to tell the difference between a valid intuition feeling and one based on fear or erroneous conclusions.

Later that night, I looked at the messages she sent and straight up cringed. Like, wtf. I mean, I guess they weren't THAT bad, but it's not something you really send to someone you've only hung out with three times and chatted via text.

I did end up semi-confronting the chick, but not in a needy way. Just said #3 hadn't responded. She claims that the message is great -- she blames the fact that I waited like, 8 hours to respond. The reason I did, however, was because #3 texted me at like 1:30a to ask how I was doing. I generally don't chat via text that late at night.

Anyway, it's a bunch of craziness and I've learned my lesson. Gotta trust my instincts more in the future.

There is the possibility that #3 hasn't seen the message. SMALL possibility. Her phone is messed up (she showed this to me on a date) and for some reason, she doesn't get text notifications. She only knows when you've texted her when she consciously looks for your name. Since I waited so long to message her, it IS probable that she stopped looking and hasn't looked again. Probable, but unlikely.

I guess the "hail mary" in this situation is to text #3 as if you never sent the other messages and hope she plays along?

[chaosvrgn]

I guess the "hail mary" in this situation is to text #3 as if you never sent the other messages and hope she plays along?

Yeah -- that's the plan. If she hasn't responded by tonight, just gonna suggest some dates to meet up again. If nothing, moving on to other prospects.