How is Tinder going for you?

[cfact]

As someone who has never had a one-night stand and hasn't used the web/tech to find dates - I find the Tinder stuff interesting and almost shocking - I am just old-school! - you really just swipe to like each other, have a chat, and meet up for sex? As basic as that?
Anyone with more details care to elaborate more? How do you know if you are meeting up with and letting a total psychopath/rapist/whatever into your house? Or do you meet somewhere neutral to evaluate them first? Is it mainly for hooking up or do people actually try to find legit partners?

Just curious how Tinder works... not sure I would ever try it!

[apollolux]

As someone who has never had a one-night stand and hasn't used the web/tech to find dates - I find the Tinder stuff interesting and almost shocking - I am just old-school! - you really just swipe to like each other, have a chat, and meet up for sex? As basic as that?
Anyone with more details care to elaborate more? How do you know if you are meeting up with and letting a total psychopath/rapist/whatever into your house? Or do you meet somewhere neutral to evaluate them first? Is it mainly for hooking up or do people actually try to find legit partners?

Just curious how Tinder works... not sure I would ever try it!

It's slightly more involved than that, but basically yea.

• You get a card with a person's photo, name, age, and current job and/or schooling. You can swipe right to like, left to dislike, or up to "super like."
  
• Tap the card and you can see more photos, a short summary (about 500 character limit or so), and more schooling. You can also like, dislike, or super like from this detailed view too.
  
• Repeat until daily limits are reached and/or bored.
  
• Only if both like and/or super like each other will you get a message that you matched, then you can message each other like a normal dating site and go from there.
  

The success or failure of converting the match to a meetup and anything more is dependent on the usual dating site factors ("text game" and/or "Facebook game" probably works here), but the initial match is (in theory, at least) almost entirely superficial. People (usually women for some reason) will try to subvert the "instant hookup" intent of the site with "professional networking" and such, but the trend is in favor of offsite hookups over non-sexual and non-romantic purposes.

[Shawn]

Quick question:

I don't want kids & I'm just wondering whether to include that on
my Tinder profile or not?
Eg that while I like them I don't want my own?
I'd like guys to know that upfront but is it telling them too
much too soon, I mean talking about kids before we even meet?
Or a part of the screening process?
Thanks in advance!

There is always a 50/50 chance it's working to your advantage. On the one side you are attracting guys who don't want kids either. On the other hand you might attract more men with no-strings-attached intentions. Just try out.

[ImFreeman]

Quick question:

I don't want kids & I'm just wondering whether to include that on
my Tinder profile or not?
Eg that while I like them I don't want my own?
I'd like guys to know that upfront but is it telling them too
much too soon, I mean talking about kids before we even meet?
Or a part of the screening process?
Thanks in advance!

HA. No don't say anything.

Usually when girls say they are not in tinder to hook up, guess what they ARE there to hook up. If they say they hate drama... well guess what they ARE DRAMA.

So when you say you don't want kids, well, that comes across as a woman who WANTS kids. And guys gonna run. Fast

[Athena]

So profile should say:

"Boys I'm down to f@ck & I want your babies!"
LOLLL!

Yikes
ImaFreeman
That's ironic cos I DON'T want kids
OR to hook up.
I guess I'll experiment both ways with &
without & see what happens.

Apollo I DID meet one guy networker I may have told you.
And hey our date was still great IMHO he was cool, interesting cute &
I enjoyed our convo but I wanted to say
dude Tinder is NOT a networking site, try Linked in or something!

The last 3 guys in my life wanted kids & I don't ugh. It's also half the
reason I got divorced!

But my last actual boyfriend didn't either.
I want a child free-by-choice guy ideally

[Nox]

So profile should say:

"Boys I'm down to f@ck & I want TO EAT your babies!"

I'd say this would be perfect lol

[Athena]

I don't want this to sound like bragging anyway I have my
OWN issues with Tinder!! Guys' perspective please: I can
left swipe & not feel bad but when I left swipe someone who has super-liked me
I feel like the world's biggest bitch esp. knowing that unless they are paid members
they only get to give one super like a day they use it on me then I next them?
BTW do NOT get the upgrade.
It's starting to ask me if I want to upgrade but I know if I do I will get limited right
swipes a day even though I don't right-swipe loads...no thanks!

Wait one more question!
At the moment if a guy's matched but not messaged I wait
till he does (or doesn't) but I don't initiate a convo. I also tend to assume he is one of those
right swipe on everyone people (as someone who hates rejecting people I don't get that!)
Or he swiped on me by accident.

Plus so many things say if you are female DON'T initiate convos it's Beta, needy, unfeminine and a turn off to guys & they will never take you seriously & like you much if you do. And, sure, I've had Bumble for a week & so far my two matches did not reply.

But, IS that true?
SHOULD I continue to wait & let the guy initiate when I online date????

[JackOfHearts]

Well if you start the convo that just you mean you are interested. Desperate, needy or crazy would be a girl who propose me sex after a few message.

So no its not true, a woman can talk too, she can approach and it would normal. Same as when a man approach a woman. Most guy would be very nice to that approach and very proud that a girl did the first step. So quiet the opposite.

[Shawn]

I wish more women would send an initial message. So if a woman messages me I know there is at least some initial interest.

I don't use Tinder, but as a man you must swipe/message a lot of women to get somewhere. I saw a statistic saying that men have to message 100 women in average to get 1-3 dates. Don't know how accurate it was, but I think you can sense that a man has often to do the mass approach first before going to class. At least as long you are not rich, famous or in whatever way special. That's for guys' perspective.

[Athena]

LOL maybe i need to message 100 men to find one that doesn't JUST want to
bang! On Tinder you ONLY match if there's mutual interest you have to "like" each other to be able to chat but then it's who messages first. Maybe I will message those matches and if they don't reply I guess who cares.

[Shawn]

Yeah, I would encourage you to message a guy if you really like him.

[Geodude]

Tinder is NOT a dating app. You should go to POF or other sites for that. Tinder is specifically for hooking up. I used it for a couple weeks.

I did it for a while, matched with a lot of women, but the selection just sucked for my town.

I learned really quick the golden rule of Tinder:
"If there's more than one girl in the photo, she's the uglier one."

I deleted it a while back out of pride, but several of my friends have gotten great results from it, so I might pick it up again.

[Athena]

Geodude it's the ONLY way I know to
find guys I find attractive who fancy me,
POF was abysmal at one stage two new guys a day messaging me
who I did NOT feel attracted to & having to deal with rejecting
them & being someone who HATES that!!!
I DID get 3 pof dates though but I got 10 Tinder dates last time,
actual dates.
I WISH someone made something LIKE Tinder but just for
relationships and dating.
I had a work crush like I said but I never knew how to
approach this then he left & I don't fancy the meet up guys
though I got a boyfriend once that way.
I've also tried dating guys I don't fancy but just couldn't keep
doing that. So for now Tinder it is and screen screen screen.
So traditional dating sites no, I hate rejecting guys when I'm not interested
on Tinder if I match & reject cos of different aims from each other it's less brutal!!
Like I've said I rarely see guys in my city I live in now approach any woman!
It used to happen to me when I was younger but that was in a different country!
Sure my shyness is part of it some guys on the train I'd like to chat up.
I did that once I gave my number to a
handsome guy on the train & he called!
I moved too fast though but hey at least I took that risk. I was so shocked we got to have a
date. I was very bad & had sex the 2nd time but eh he wasn't boyfriend material anyway LOL
I'm a good girl now though

[Athena]

But I don't want to be presumptuous, Geodude. You may be
right. I'm giving Tinder till late this year & if no joy I'll delete my profile on there.