03-14-2025, 07:22 PM
I'm writing this post after having a night out partying by myself, something I've started doing a few years back, to note something different, which I attribute to OSC.
I usually enjoy going out by myself, mainly focusing on dancing and enjoying the music, it's somewhat a nice place to work on yourself in a public setting, and people notice way less that you are alone than you would think. Also if someone ask you and you tell them, they are often mostly impressed that you have the courage to do it.
Anyway, I wouldn't say I have a good "game" going out. Approaching girls have felt "desperate" in a way, like I start behaving differently when I talk to them, and in that way I've feel like i "loose myself" when going after girls. However, when coming home, by myself, without having "scored" I often start feeling bad about myself, having a lot of negative self-talk, about what I should've done, just so I wouldn't be alone. Not today.
Today - coming home - I feel good. I feel happy with myself. Could it be that this feeling of lack that I use to feel was due to a lack of self-confidence that I've imagined I could fill with the achievement of getting a girl home to bed? Could it have been that I've feel less genuine when approaching girls due to this underlying neediness?
This night out, I enjoyed myself dancing to the music, and focused on how I felt being in the crowd dancing together with everyone to the music, spending less time thinking about approaching this or that girl around me. Instead focusing on what I was feeling in the moment.
I come from a background where I have a tendency to focus on what other people feel, I guess you could say I'm an empath. This is like a "default mode" where I often disregard my own feelings in favor of focusing on what other people are thinking or feeling. I've worked on this for a while, but it's still a pattern present in my character, and it feels like OSC is helping me to get in touch with what I feel, having the confidence to stay with my own feelings, rather than habitually switch over to other people. I believe a big part of my well-being lay within learning to stay with myself, and keep growing my confidence in my own self.
As I said, the more I'm running OSC, the more confident I become in that it was the program I've needed. Bit by bit, it keep digging deeper into me and building my confidence from the inside out.
I usually enjoy going out by myself, mainly focusing on dancing and enjoying the music, it's somewhat a nice place to work on yourself in a public setting, and people notice way less that you are alone than you would think. Also if someone ask you and you tell them, they are often mostly impressed that you have the courage to do it.
Anyway, I wouldn't say I have a good "game" going out. Approaching girls have felt "desperate" in a way, like I start behaving differently when I talk to them, and in that way I've feel like i "loose myself" when going after girls. However, when coming home, by myself, without having "scored" I often start feeling bad about myself, having a lot of negative self-talk, about what I should've done, just so I wouldn't be alone. Not today.
Today - coming home - I feel good. I feel happy with myself. Could it be that this feeling of lack that I use to feel was due to a lack of self-confidence that I've imagined I could fill with the achievement of getting a girl home to bed? Could it have been that I've feel less genuine when approaching girls due to this underlying neediness?
This night out, I enjoyed myself dancing to the music, and focused on how I felt being in the crowd dancing together with everyone to the music, spending less time thinking about approaching this or that girl around me. Instead focusing on what I was feeling in the moment.
I come from a background where I have a tendency to focus on what other people feel, I guess you could say I'm an empath. This is like a "default mode" where I often disregard my own feelings in favor of focusing on what other people are thinking or feeling. I've worked on this for a while, but it's still a pattern present in my character, and it feels like OSC is helping me to get in touch with what I feel, having the confidence to stay with my own feelings, rather than habitually switch over to other people. I believe a big part of my well-being lay within learning to stay with myself, and keep growing my confidence in my own self.
As I said, the more I'm running OSC, the more confident I become in that it was the program I've needed. Bit by bit, it keep digging deeper into me and building my confidence from the inside out.
