10-21-2018, 09:22 AM
Thank you Zane. That was a wonderful compliment.
I'm wishing to share something I'm seeing these last couple of days. I wrote maybe 2 posts up about living in some fantasy mindset much of my life. I've come here, in similar fashion, numerous times, thinking I "should" be in some mindset. An "I'm healing!" mindset. Or a "I'm facing another obstacle" mindset.
I've been doing this, and I'm becoming tired of playing games with my mind. I just don't enjoy doing this presently. Because much of life lies right outside those narrow limits.
On more important issues, I got a text from my ex yesterday saying she needed to talk with me about my daughter, that it was important. I was at work, and texted her this. She replied, saying she was at a hospital. I called within minutes. My daughter had done a suicide attempt with some OTC medicine, but shortly after ingesting them, went to her mom, and told her. She realized after taking them that she didn't want to die. She's physically stable now, and she's in a inpatient psych facility presently. I just talked with my ex on the phone for 20 minutes, and she's struggling since she's not in control presently--of the outcome, or really, herself. She's been crying on and off, doing so when in private.
I've felt judgemental towards my ex when asked by others about this scenario, for my daughter was hit hard with her mom's quick decision to move out of state for her job upgrade. It's been almost a year now, and my daughter has struggled ever since she's been there. My ex's example of "success" is looking good to certain parties while ignoring fallout from consequences. Again, I'm judging. I blamed, and it doesn't feel good on my side either. I've not dwelled on those feelings a lot, for they only give back pain.
My daughter will be in treatment at least 5 days, so I've heard, and I'm wanting to go see her for her sake. I've not made plans yet, as my ex said she didn't want her overloaded when she gets out. I'll see her within 2 weeks though.
I just pulled something good out of my thoughts. Maybe this pain my ex is in will push her to pay attention to those things she's tried to ignore. Like our daughter's struggle. That's a hope. She has her choices, I have mine, so I'll look for good things.
I'm running E2 on masked TS now, so thanks to it for a mindset change.
I'm wishing to share something I'm seeing these last couple of days. I wrote maybe 2 posts up about living in some fantasy mindset much of my life. I've come here, in similar fashion, numerous times, thinking I "should" be in some mindset. An "I'm healing!" mindset. Or a "I'm facing another obstacle" mindset.
I've been doing this, and I'm becoming tired of playing games with my mind. I just don't enjoy doing this presently. Because much of life lies right outside those narrow limits.
On more important issues, I got a text from my ex yesterday saying she needed to talk with me about my daughter, that it was important. I was at work, and texted her this. She replied, saying she was at a hospital. I called within minutes. My daughter had done a suicide attempt with some OTC medicine, but shortly after ingesting them, went to her mom, and told her. She realized after taking them that she didn't want to die. She's physically stable now, and she's in a inpatient psych facility presently. I just talked with my ex on the phone for 20 minutes, and she's struggling since she's not in control presently--of the outcome, or really, herself. She's been crying on and off, doing so when in private.
I've felt judgemental towards my ex when asked by others about this scenario, for my daughter was hit hard with her mom's quick decision to move out of state for her job upgrade. It's been almost a year now, and my daughter has struggled ever since she's been there. My ex's example of "success" is looking good to certain parties while ignoring fallout from consequences. Again, I'm judging. I blamed, and it doesn't feel good on my side either. I've not dwelled on those feelings a lot, for they only give back pain.
My daughter will be in treatment at least 5 days, so I've heard, and I'm wanting to go see her for her sake. I've not made plans yet, as my ex said she didn't want her overloaded when she gets out. I'll see her within 2 weeks though.
I just pulled something good out of my thoughts. Maybe this pain my ex is in will push her to pay attention to those things she's tried to ignore. Like our daughter's struggle. That's a hope. She has her choices, I have mine, so I'll look for good things.
I'm running E2 on masked TS now, so thanks to it for a mindset change.
I want to be FREE!
