09-29-2018, 01:04 AM
Going deeper means more truth is surfacing, and not family stuff. In my last post, I wrote about me seeing me lying to myself. I woke up slowly this morning, put on some music, and got in my shower.
When I listen to my thinking, it's closely tied to my feelings. I keep trying to separate my feelings (which run me mostly) from what I think. I don't know why I learned that, but I did see that a lot growing up (just pictured that).
I'm a feeler. An INFP. This is who I am. I enjoy intellectual pursuits, but not devoid of feelings. In any environment (school, work, church), if the message is to ignore my feelings, I estrange myself from the people or even that institution.
In fact, I read something in a recovery reader lately which might be controversial in light of Shannon's sub goals presently. The writer was sharing about how a different perspective is always possible. The controversial part is he shared that even all the fear he faced going forward forced him to rely on his Rule 4 character, and that pursuit really grew him. It said to me fear is not all bad; it is often used to guide me to do things I'd avoided before being in that emotional battle. Or avoid things not in my best interest.
I'm grateful I can write here this morning. Heading out to work now.
When I listen to my thinking, it's closely tied to my feelings. I keep trying to separate my feelings (which run me mostly) from what I think. I don't know why I learned that, but I did see that a lot growing up (just pictured that).
I'm a feeler. An INFP. This is who I am. I enjoy intellectual pursuits, but not devoid of feelings. In any environment (school, work, church), if the message is to ignore my feelings, I estrange myself from the people or even that institution.
In fact, I read something in a recovery reader lately which might be controversial in light of Shannon's sub goals presently. The writer was sharing about how a different perspective is always possible. The controversial part is he shared that even all the fear he faced going forward forced him to rely on his Rule 4 character, and that pursuit really grew him. It said to me fear is not all bad; it is often used to guide me to do things I'd avoided before being in that emotional battle. Or avoid things not in my best interest.
I'm grateful I can write here this morning. Heading out to work now.
I want to be FREE!
